Blinded But Not Transparent
by RosaKei
Summary: An AU on Blind!Mikasa. (Summary/Prompt in chapter 1) An EreMika Fanfic. She may be blind, but it doesn't mean she is see through, it doesn't mean she doesn't know.
1. Chapter 1

**Prompt/Summary:**

Finally free from the age of the titans, the squad finally gets to live peacefully in the outside world, and explore what is out there. Unfortunately, during their last battle with the enemies, a certain raven haired female known as Mikasa Ackerman had sustained severe injuries, and that doesn't exclude _her sight_. Unable to see the beauties of the outside world, Armin Arlert and Eren Yeager had agreed to explore the world with her while _there was still time_ , constantly describing newfound stuff to her with words, ensuring she does not feel left out, indifferent or a burden.

However, Mikasa Ackerman has no memory how had her vision been blinded. And everybody tells her that they don't remember, that they didn't wish to remember the war that had 'traumatized' them. Mikasa being understandable, complied. Not only had that, but they constantly reminded her how she should leave the past in the past. Yet, this does not keep her suspicions down nor sweeps her desperate curiosity away, that craves for the truth. No matter how cruel it may be. And one day…

" _Everyone's hiding something from me! Why can't you tell me?!"_

"… _I shouldn't be the one telling you, it should be_ _that brat_ _."_

And her sight isn't the only thing that's going to be gone.

Time's running out too fast for a certain someone who has been shouldering burden.

 **Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

It's late at night, it's cold. The candle flickers silently on a desk next to the bed where the raven haired girl struggles to fall asleep. Sitting up, she stared blankly out the window. Out the window where the stars tonight shine brightly, honouring the thousands of soldiers who had sacrificed themselves for the greater good that they had believed in, and _a moon_.

The moon that brought out all the stars that shone brightly alongside the stars. Some of the remaining soldiers would say that's _Erwin Smith_ , after all he was a soldier— _a commander_ worth more than a single star could afford. His bravery, _his insanity_ that drove him to ensure humanity could see another tomorrow, was indeed honourable.

But, regardless of the light that shone through the window, it couldn't shoo away the darkness that had shunned Mikasa's life.

A cold gust of wind blew by, causing a shiver that ran down the spine of the raven as she felt the warmth from the small flame of the candle being blown out, not like the light of the burning flame made a difference to her anyway. She huddled up her legs, pulling them closely to her chest.

"It's cold...''. She muttered softly to herself. 'It's lonely...' she thought as she hugged her knees tighter. "It's...it's...-"

"Mikasa!" a familiar, warmth-filled voice echoed through the silent room, cutting off Mikasa's dark thoughts that she couldn't help but wish it'd stay in the dark, except she knew that wherever darkness goes, _it'll always follow her._

"I figured you couldn't sleep so—"

"Eren…?" she lifted up her head turning towards the sound of his soothing voice. "Is that you, Eren? Eren?" she spoke in a panicky way. She didn't want to be alone, not today, not tonight, and not ever.

"Sh... Shh...I'm here, Mikasa..." Eren responded as he sat next to her on the bed, his arm instinctively wrapping around her shoulder when he had noticed her body shivering. "It's going to be alright...I promise." Eren comforted as Mikasa's head gently rested on the brunette's shoulders, tears already forming, and in a second, her tears had evolved into a stream, drenching Eren's shirt. But he didn't mind-he didn't care- if she were to soak all of his shirts with her tears, if that meant she would feel a little less crestfallen.

She had always been strong, always the one with her guard up. Because she knew emotions would get in the way. Yet, the only time she'd let them unknowingly show was with the brunette who was causing the flow of her emotions right now, except those emotions before was concern, and now, it was sadness. And normally, the brunette would push her away, tell her to stop being so motherly or protective. But those days are long gone, the brunette had matured in more ways than one, and right now he didn't—he couldn't push her away— because of his own, selfish emotions that desired to do the same for her as she had did to him, _to protect her_.

"How do you know that it'll be fine? It's clearly not..." Mikasa choked out the words, words that caused her throat to feel sore. She didn't want to talk, yet she wanted to scream her pain out. She didn't want to cry, yet she wanted to let it all out.

Eren repositioned himself, Mikasa felt him shifting, and panicked. "Wait… no don't go, I'm sorry-" she got cut off as the same arms that wrapped her shoulder soon embraced her into a hug. "Because I know it'll be fine. Listen, Mikasa." Eren said, his tone serious yet soft, but as he spoke, he ensured that he wouldn't break into tears, he wanted to be strong, _for the sake of her_.

"I know… that it's scary to be alone... and I don't want to lie to you either. I don't want to give you _false hope_ … and..'' he stopped midway in his sentence as he felt the raven's arms returning the embrace, except her hands were gripping the behind of his shirt tightly, her hands trembling in fear. Fearing what the brunette was going to say next.

Eren's emerald eyes softened at that. "Let it all out..." he mumbled as he felt her tears dripping.

"Mikasa..." He took a deep breathe. In a few years, I'll...be gone... and so will Armin, a few years after me..." He continued.

Her grip tightened, her hands shaking like an earthquake was happening in her mind – which probably was happening.

"But... there's still the others…Sasha, Connie, even Jean and so on who'll still be here... Hell, even that shortass or crazy four eyes will still be here." Eren sighed, chuckling silently at the nickname that Mikasa created for the other male raven that no one but her dared address him as that.

 _Daring_. He had always admired that quality of hers.

"Crazy four eyes said she is finding for a cure, but it's still uncertain… so instead of giving you false hope like I had mentioned just now, about me or Armin being…alive, all I can give you now is... this warmth." Eren spoke as the raven dug her head deeper into his chest, still sobbing.

"I'm sorry... I just really don't know what to say... I don't want to..." Eren said cautiously when the raven's sobs had loudened, though matured, there were times when he still didn't know to express himself clearly or gently, especially with _her_.

"I know what you mean…" Mikasa spoke, fighting through the sobs that she forced to halt so she could speak clearly. "But Eren... this warmth… it's only going to be temporary isn't it?" she retorted back and when the brunette was about to pull her closer into the hug so she wouldn't break, she only pushed him away as her voice raised. "I can't! It's too painful... I can't even..." she took a deep breath.

"When you and Armin are gone… that's when darkness truly consumes me... and... _This darkness_ …"

"Shh…" Eren hushed her as he pulled her in another embrace and despite her pushes-which soon surrendered as her tears dripped slowly.

" _Both of us_ will still be in here..." Eren comforted as he gently pulled her away, resting his hand on the left side of her chest. " _Your heart_ …'' Eren smiled painfully at those words whereas Mikasa's cheeks flushed red.

"Eren your hand…" She said, flustered.

It took a moment for the brunette to realize his hand was a little too close to her breast and it had seemed as if he was preparing to make a move on it, _out of 'instinct'_. He quickly pulled away as his face flushed into a darker shade of red as compared to the raven. "A-AH! I'm Sorry! U-uh..." Eren panicked, but stopped when he heard something, a sound which he'd call a melody.

 _Mikasa was chuckling softly._

Mikasa rubbed her eyes, wiping the tears away as she slowly looked up to where she assumed was the brunette's face.

It had been a while since Eren had made full eye contact with her, and though it was dark, thanks to the brightness of both stars and moon that shone dimly through the window, he was able to see her—her eyes—clear enough for him to be able to fixate his focus on her eyes, ever so _pitifully, depressively, guiltily._

 _'Was this even considered eye contact...? When she can't even see me...?'_ He thought silently.

Though the raven was unable to see through the darkness that surrounded her from within, she could feel the tension from him that was directed towards her, what was worse was the awkward silence that had filled the air when her chuckles came to a halt once sensing the tension the brunette was emitting. She quickly turned her head away into another direction, which caused Eren to snap out of the torturous trance he was in—when he was staring into her dull eyes. It was painful, after all, her obsidian orbs were so lively once, even when they were trainees training under the blistering hot sun, even when they had to run 50 laps around the area. _Even_ _when Eren had yelled at her for his own childish reasons back then, there was still life in her eyes_ , _and now..._ _ **it was gone**_ _._

"I-I'm sorry...' Eren mumbled as he looked down in pain.

"For what?" she questioned.

"I wasn't able to protect you and…now _you're blind_..." Eren choked as the words escaped his lips, tears fighting their way through the wall he had built before entering her room.

"It wasn't entirely your fault. You said you were…in a different squad... and besides it was..." Mikasa hesitated in her words, unable to remember what had happened on _that day_. She winced in pain at her attempt to recall what had happened. All the short flashbacks she had, she described as red — _bloodied **,**_ just an attempt to remember could cause her physical pain, it was obvious as her hands gripped the sheet tightly. Eren, who was quick to notice, instantly rested his hand on her shoulder. "Forget the past, it's not worth remembering... I wish I knew what happened to you…" He said, biting his lip, regretting that he somewhat brought up the subject of the past

"I hate the dark..." Mikasa mumbled softly, on the verge of tears once more until she felt something soft that wrapped around her neck. _Her precious, red scarf._

"I finished washing your scarf…smells nice doesn't it huh?" Eren said whispering those words softly.

Mikasa only remained silent. Eren could tell she was just lost in nostalgia, he was too.

He remembered that day, where he told her that he would wrap it around her as many times as she wants. He still would, _he always would_. After all, though he could never understand the true depth of the meaning that red scarf held, as long as it could make Mikasa smile, _he would wrap it a thousand times for her._

'I wish...' Mikasa thought silently. "I could see..." She spoke unintentionally letting her thoughts slipped out and once realizing it, covered her mouth as if she had spoken something forbidden.

Eren caressed her cheek gently in response, before replying, "Then... _I'll be your eyes_."

Mikasa then looked back at the direction where she heard those beautiful words, with an indescribable expression, she didn't seem enraged, despondent nor elated.

It was… the expression of hope, _he was her hope_ , and _he was her flame_.

 _And Eren wished he could have unseen that look._

"Thank you… for everything..." Mikasa yawned softly as her body slowly collapsed, thankfully Eren had caught her in his arms. He laid her gently on the bed before standing up slowly.

'She must've been exhausted…it's been a tough day...' Eren thought silently. She had only just gained back her consciousness today in the morning - a week since the war had ended—and moreover she had to comprehend the fact that she couldn't see. He gazed softly but pitifully at the raven, before turning towards the sound of a knock on the door which had interrupted his gaze.

Opening the door, it was Armin.

" _Armin?"_

"Is she doing well?" the blonde asked, concerned.

Eren only looked away. "Yeah..."

"You know…maybe we should—"

"I know what you're going to say, and no. Look at her, she's drained. She's tired. Don't give her unnecessary trouble." Eren snapped.

"…We'll talk tomorrow, Captain Levi wants to see the whole squad tomorrow out in the field around 9 in the morning…" Armin spoke, not in the mood to argue this late at night. He took a quick glance inside Mikasa's room, to see the raven shifting uncomfortably on her bed. "For now, stay here. She needs you." Armin spoke, referring to Mikasa who seemed to be struggling to sleep again, her body was fidgeting as if the nightmare she was probably having at the moment was devouring her. "She needs you, Eren" Armin repeated before turning away.

"Goodnight." The blonde said before walking away.

"Goodnight..." Eren mumbled back before closing the door shut, rushing back to the troubled raven, squeezing her hand gently, which had seemed to soothe her. _His presence soothed her_. Eren's eyes softened as he slowly shifted himself onto her bed.

He was now lying next to her, fingers still entwined with hers tightly.

He gazed out the window, at the stars and the moon that brought out the dark blue of the sky.

"Be her eyes... huh?" Eren sighed as he closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

" _She needs you, Eren."_

 _..._

 _Those words echoed through the brunette's mind for the rest of the night._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on titan, nor do I own the characters.**

* * *

 _Blood. Death. Helpless. Screams._

The perfect words to describe whatever was going on in the raven's mind. Unwanted flashbacks seemed to be circulating her mind, torturing her mentally. Her breathing became heavier as each fragment of that unknown torturous memory flashed into her dreams. Dreams that soon became nightmares. She wished to see that memory as a whole instead of bits and pieces of some sort of shattered memory puzzle, but it seemed that her brain had decided to block out the last few pieces of the puzzle, or was it her _broken and pained heart_ that refused to remember?

She didn't know why she couldn't remember what had happened before darkness took over her vision. She didn't know how she became blind. _She didn't believe that everyone didn't know how as well._ All she remembered was her taking off for the war, taking down some titans... and then every other pieces of her memory of what had happened after were scattered into demolished, tormenting fragments that haunted the poor and pitiful girl every chance that it had.

Recurring nightmares were provable evidence that the word 'tormenting' wasn't too far off of what was happening in her mind. Especially when her caliginous thoughts seemed to mix with her poignant and distressing memories.

'They're all liars, I know they know something.' She thought to herself silently.

 _Bodies were ripped into shreds._

'Why are they hiding something from me?'

 _People were brutally consumed by the army of titans._

'Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?'

 _And in a second, something far worst consumed her._

' **WHY MUST IT BE ME?'** her aching mind shrieked.

"Mikasa? _Mikasa?_?" the familiar warmth filled melody rang through her ears, releasing her from the chamber of sorrow and torture that had caged her.

The brunette continually nudged her worriedly until the raven sat up slowly. "W-What happened?" Mikasa questioned softly, wincing in pain _. Seems that mental torture can affect her physically as well._

"You were… sweating in your sleep. Your body was shaking as well…" Eren spoke, his eyes averting away from hers, unable to face her.

"Oh... it's just… the nightmares." Mikasa chuckled lightly in hope to liven the mood since she sensed a similar tension she had felt before from the brunette. A tension that could even send shivers down her spine. "It's only been a day after all...since this. But I'll be fine sooner or later." Mikasa smiled in hope of reassuring Eren.

Yet, Eren only bit his lip when he glanced up and noticed the smile that formed on her lips, which original intention was to reassure him. Except, what Mikasa didn't know was that her smile seemed more forced rather than reassuring—that smile was anything _but_ reassuring. That smile had seemed to bother Eren, as that smile brought back a familiarity of emotions that burdened his shoulders.

That smile she wore, was the same smile she had _that day._

* * *

" _She's awake!"_

" _Shh! Don't frighten her!"_

" _Is she alright?"_

" _Mikasa? Mikasa?"_

Worried and concerned voices could only be heard echoing around in that room. The room where Mikasa had been unconscious for the past week. Only one person remained silent, observing the raven carefully with a fearful look painted on his face. And that was Eren.

"…Huh..?" Mikasa mumbled softly to herself when hearing those voices, before sitting up immediately with an anxious expression. "Where am I? What happened? Is everyone alright? Where's—"

"Calm down, Mikasa. The war's over. Everything's peaceful as of now." Armin spoke, cutting her off as Eren gripped her hand tighter, but in a caring matter.

"I'm here, we're here..." Eren comforted in a relieved and soothing tone.

"Damn it Mikasa! You had us worried!" Sasha and Connie exclaimed in sync as Jean scratched the back of his head, sighing in relief as a smile crept up on his face, "Glad you're awake..." he spoke finally.

Almost everyone who was Mikasa's friends or close acquaintance was coincidentally there, except some others who Armin had then said to be busy.

As the relieved words continued flooding out of everyone's mouth, Mikasa's expression only remained… odd. She didn't seem happy, relieved or whatsoever emotion that associated with positivity. Rather, she looked… _troubled_.

"What's wrong…?" Eren questioned, observing her odd behaviour which seemed to have put an end to Eren's relief, and soon, everyone else's as well.

"I…Is the light on?" Mikasa asked, as an obvious gulp went down her throat uneasily.

"What do you mean? It's broad daylight!" Connie said, not knowing the circumstances of whatever was running through the raven's brain, as the raven's expression only became worse.

"I-I…" She took a deep breath. "I can't see anything… all I see is... darkness." She spoke, sensing the atmosphere around her suddenly tensing.

"Hey... Hey Mikasa... now's not the time to joke." Jean spoke, his voice lacking any tranquillity at all.

"I don't think she's lying… her eyes look... a little more lifeless than before..." Armin whispered.

Unhesitatingly, Eren stood up, "It can't be..." Eren murmured in shock, standing up, taking a few steps back.

"Eren don't—"The blonde got cut off as he sprinted out of the room, searching for help from any professionals nearby.

Mikasa only remained silent, trying her best to comprehend what had just happened. "How..?" she uttered quietly, her voice shaking as tears soon dripped from her eyes. She seemed to be 'breaking', or rather, she was _already shattered_. "Mikasa… deep breathes. Eren's getting help..." Armin mumbled, trying his best to maintain his composure as he gripped her hand in comfort, in replacement of Eren's. His hand was quivering though, and Mikasa felt that. He was trying to be strong. Everyone in the room was, though soft, she could hear faint sobs from them, thank goodness she couldn't see the expressions that they were making, if she could it'd probably wreck her even more. "I'm fine... don't worry..." She said her tone reassuring as she inhaled in the air shakily, already knowing that 'fine' was the last thing she felt.

After a few moments, she was then brought to Hanji's office for some tests, Eren obviously following along since he was the one who rushed Hanji over. Whereas, Armin and the others stayed behind, knowing to give privacy to the one who was probably suffering the most inside, _Eren_.

"The nurses told me you had severe injuries when you were recovered, surprised to see you awake this fast, then again you are an Ackerman..." Hanji mumbled as she helped her to sit down, Eren sitting next to her. After examining her eyes, she started asking some questions. "Do you remember what happened?" Hanji questioned.

Mikasa had seemed to flinch at her question, wincing slightly as flashbacks tore through her mind, causing the raven's heavy breathing to arrive again, causing Eren to shoot Hanji a menacing glare of warning or most likely a threat towards the other brunette. "Sorry. Shouldn't have brought it up." She said adjusting her tone to a firmer one than before. "In that case... I'm not that sure what caused it… but you're blindness was either caused by your head hitting hard on the ground or trauma…" Hanji sighed. "Either way, I'll do some further testing. Eren, I would need you to leave. Although she can't see, you're emitting some... disturbing tension that even I could sense and I'm sure it would be bother—"

"You must be joking if you think—"

"Eren." Mikasa cut into their conversation, finally talking ever since she entered the room wearing a sullen looking expression which seemed to have changed to a serious one as she turned towards the direction where she heard Eren's voice which was on the edge of becoming a yell.

"Hanji's doing her best..." she started off, sounding as strong as she could. She had to be strong. If she was a crying emotional mess, it'd only affect the others who she assumed were still silently crying in the other room. "I'm... fine." Mikasa spoke, with that painful, forced reassuring smile. "Just do as she says, _please_." She pleaded.

Biting his lips, he turned around making his way towards the door. "Come back in 2 hours." Hanji spoke before Eren left the room, closing the door on his way out.

"It's alright now, Mikasa. He's gone. You don't have to put on that façade of being strong in here." Hanji sighed as the raven's tears started coursing down her cheeks again. "It hurts..." Mikasa cried softly. "I know sweetheart, I know..." Hanji spoke pulling her into a reassuring hug. "But I know you'll be just fine, you're a strong person. That's something I'm definitely certain of."

Though the two barely knew one another, Hanji knew she needed comfort and someone to seek solace to right now, and this was what she could offer. Moreover it wasn't that awkward, since she seemed to resemble a certain someone she knew closely.

"Tsk..." A certain male eavesdropper clicked his tongue, who was standing outside the room long enough to hear their conversation before leaving in utter rage, back into the room where the others were, still gathered, still left in dread.

"Is she okay?" Jean asked almost immediately in worry when the brunette had entered the room.

"She's…doing some tests for now... and I have to tell all of you something…" Eren grumbled miserably as he looked up from the ground to see everyone's eyes fixed on him which added pressure to the male. "I have something to speak of as well." Armin spoke out, in an unusually grim tone. Just a moment ago he was in tears with the others and it was odd to see him change expressions that quick.

Then again, _everything's different_.

 _Everybody's changed_.

Eren looked up at the blonde, he was as unsure as everybody else on what the blonde had to say in such a stoic tone, and to be frank that terrified them.

"And I'm sure it's going to be similar to what Eren was going to say..." He took a deep breath.

 _"About…Mikasa…"_

* * *

"Eren? Eren? Eren?" Mikasa's worried voice resonated into the brunette's ears when he went silent for too far long, dragging him back to what he dreaded to be reality.

"Ah! Sorry! I was spacing out and—"

Before he could've completed his sentence, the door was kicked open by a certain someone whose face was able to frustrate Eren within a second due to the sudden and rude interruption.

"Oi! You can't just kick the damn door—"

"Shut up idiot! You're late and everyone's wait—"

"Jean? Is that you..?" Mikasa spoke softly turning towards the direction where she heard his yelling.

"Wait… Mikasa you're here and with Ere— Oi. You piece of shit..." Jean cursed as he glared daggers at Eren, clenching his fist while Eren cursed under his breath. "Excuse me— "

"Eren. Jean." Mikasa said, cutting into their argument. "Can we just go and not argue for once?" Mikasa sighed helplessly, being obvious that she didn't had the motivation nor power to even stop them physically, by dragging Eren out of the situation like back then.

"You heard her… and sorry." Jean apologized before leaving. He didn't want to stand there any longer. He knew his place, and like almost everyone else, he couldn't bare seeing Mikasa like that, without breaking pitifully.

Sighing, Eren helped Mikasa up. "Let's go." Eren smiled before cautiously leading her out into the open field.

* * *

Once they've arrived at the field where everyone else was, they had assume Levi was going to give them some sort of a reprimand since that was what all the other meetings with him were. _Either that or it was for purposes like scheming and plotting gruesome things._

To their shock, it wasn't a reprimand, schemes or a long monotonous lecture. _It was a thanks._

"Thank you." The male raven started, causing some gasps from the crowd which only caused him to grunt, and Hanji to chuckle. "You guys being in a squad with me was a huge pain in the ass but… it was indeed memorable and..."

"And Levi here can't express himself so—"Hanji cut in before being silenced by a punch from Levi, causing Hanji to fall back dramatically—also too dramatically, which seemed to cause some snickering.

"Tch. You brats get what I mean. With the war over... you brats are free from the survey corps, go and start your own life or whatever and treasure every moment of your freedom." He spoke, eying at Armin and Eren _especially_ , as he continued, "I just wanted to thank of all of you." Levi spoke sighing. "You brats have really grown, you're what? 19? 20? Now... hm... but still as bratty as ever." He chuckled lightly which again, caused some gasps in the crowd. Rolling his eyes, his stern expression returned before dismissing them, except for one.

"Mikasa." He called. "I want to speak to you for a moment." Levi said, noticing the brunette's suspicious expression as he led Mikasa over. "Alone. And don't worry brat, I won't say anything shitty, just an Ackerman talk." Levi added which reassured Eren who still had full trust for his formal captain, nodding and handed over Mikasa to his care before Levi led her somewhere not far away to sit down and have a chat.

"What is it? Capt—"

"No need for formalities." Levi cut in, but she still continued. " _Captain Shortass_." She joked, cracking a small smile which Levi seemed to have returned, seeing that even in her situation, she could crack a real smile every once in a while. "Damn you.. gloomy brat..." Levi sighed. "I just wanted to check on you, as gloomy and irritable you are, I still consider you as both a comrade and friend worth my trust. At that, is everything alright since... your sight has been—"

"I've been doing fine." Mikasa interrupted. "But…I do have a question." She said, her head facing down, while Levi stared out at the sky. "And what specifically is it?" Levi questioned as his focus soon turned towards Mikasa. "It's about…them…and this." She muttered, pointing at her eyes before she slowly looked up towards the direction of his voice, though she didn't lift her head up that high enough to even face Levi's face, considering Mikasa still saw him as short, due to his height and such. But he took no offence. Despite wanting to bring it up that he wasn't _that short_ , he knew it wasn't time to have their usual squabbles.

"Go on." He said, voice gentle, knowing she was still hurt on the inside. It had only been a day since she woken up to this tragedy, and despite the fact she looked perfectly fine, she wasn't fooling him.

* * *

Eren was leaning against a tree, watching the two Ackermans having some sort of pep talk, and it sure caught him in a surprise that they weren't having any squabbles or whatsoever, and what especially astounded him was when he noticed the two having calm expressions as they exchange words of some importance, or so it had seemed.

"Eren." Armin called as he gripped Eren's shoulder, causing Eren to tense as the blonde had caught him off guard.

"Armin..." Eren muttered with a tone hinting unwillingness to even hold a proper conversation with him. "I know what you're going to say and—"

"If you knew what I was going to say for this long, why haven't you came up with a proper answer?" Armin snapped, which again caught the brunette off guard.

For almost a year or two, their friendship had been unsteady due to their different opinions during _then_ and a change or rather, an evolvement of both of their personalities, especially Armin's who had learnt to stand up more often and Eren who matured, not the reckless and rude boy he once was. _But that aspect of him would still linger in him and come up every now and then._

"And it's not about that… kind of." Armin started as he ran his hand through his hair, seemingly stressed. "We both don't have much time left right? _Especially you._ With that amount of time left, can we at least make _her_ happy?" Eren only crossed his arms, clicking his tongue in response. "What do you mean by that?" Eren asked, his voice sharp, wary of Armin, not wanting to fall for his manipulative trap if he was plotting one.

"That we both stop acting like this and… you start being more honest towards her."

"Armin. How many—"

"I don't mean _that issue_. I meant, _your feelings_." At those words, it was enough to cause the brunette's eyes to widen. "What are you—"

" _You're the only one who can make her happy."_

Hearing that sentence was enough to leave the brunette stunned. He didn't know how to respond to that. Though the war was over, he was still a huge mess inside, especially with whatsoever emotions Armin was hinting at. Turning to face Armin, he bit his lip as his emerald orbs soon met his ocean ones, which was clearly expressing the same curiosity he remembered he had back then when they both wanted to explore the outside world. A ravenous curiosity that could devour anyone, and especially him right now too.

" _I can't make her happy."_ Eren blurted out after hesitating for quite a while, assuming he'd be free of Armin's ravenous aura for answers when he fed him an answer. But boy, was he wrong. He knew he was wrong when he felt that very aura still clawing at him, clutching tighter onto him.

Chaining him mentally, refusing to let him out of that situation he was currently in.

" _You can't keep running away, Eren. What's the truth?" The blonde demanded, cornering the brunette._


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _"You can't keep running away, Eren. What's the truth?" The blonde demanded, cornering the brunette._

Never in his life would he have imagined being cornered like this, especially by someone he once considered a _best friend_ , and now, whatever they used to have, was _gone_. His heart was racing as the blonde's eyes fixated on his emerald orbs intensely. But Eren couldn't blame him either way. He knew he was doing this for the sake of Mikasa, although he did not understand his methods as to how. Armin and Mikasa were close friends as well, and probably had a tighter and much more inseparable bond at this point as compared to his own bond with the blonde.

Ever since that day. The day where they were discussing tactics on taking down the enemy. That day, was a dark day. A day where opinions turned into a hurricane of non-stop nonsensical arguments. And though they did come down to a final conclusion for the scheme that the majority agreed to, the shouts, and criticisms and most of all— _betrayal_ , still happened.

Especially between the two of them. And all of which, was never forgiven. The look on Mikasa's face that day, the terrified and fearful look when both of them attacked each other verbally had stuck closely to Eren's heart, remembering the most trivial details of that look she wore. That look which caused the guilt in his heart to rise up rather high. If only if he had set away his selfishness during that day then maybe he wouldn't have seen that look, and he would not be in this mess. But it was all already said and done.

"Eren." Armin's sharp words seemed to have stabbed him in his chest mentally since Eren winced just by hearing his name being called by Armin's sharp voice. "Why can't you exactly make her happy? Why can't you tell her how you feel? Why—"

 _"Because I don't know what to feel damn it!"_ Eren yelled in response, taking a few deep breathes as Armin closed his eyes for a second, thinking he was prying too ruthlessly and gave Eren a moment to cool off.

"Must I really tell you?" Armin continued, his voice not as sharp earlier, but neither could it be considered soft. "You're in love with her, and she's in love with you." Armin sighed. "And you're afraid to face that emotion because you're afraid you'll break her once you leave this world in 3 years or so." Armin added, a trace of pity lingered within his words. Although Eren recognized the slight trace of pity in his tone, he only ignored it.

 _"Armin. I don't—"_

 _"But you do."_ Armin said, cutting him off mid-way as he crossed his arms. "Even way before all this happened, the way you looked at her… and the way she—"Armin seemed to be hesitant to complete his sentence, but he did any sounding reluctant. "— _she used to look at you_ too." He spoke finally. 'Used to' those words were a direct hit to his heart, the fact that Mikasa could no longer see. "And moreover…" Armin spoke, interrupting his thoughts. "That scarf of hers that you not only gave but, _wrapped around her_ , is clear evidence of the special bond you have with her Eren, and even when it got dirtied, torn or whatsoever, she'd spend her time sewing it back together."

Eren stood there, quite speechless, not knowing how to respond on such a claim. So what if he did love her? Confessing to her about it would be cruel since the time that he had left was running out, _fast._

"Armin... I know what Mikasa is like, she's may be the type to keep to herself but she's an open book when she's with me…"Eren sighed quietly. "And she doesn't love me the way you think she does, she's just… treasuring what she has left while she can… but love? It's an _overstatement_ and—"

"That's when _you're wrong, Eren_." Armin interrupted shaking his head in disappointment. "She may be blind but…she isn't see through. Deep down, she has her own secrets going on." Armin sighed before looking up at the distressed brunette. _"She isn't as transparent and easy as you think, Eren."_

* * *

"Well you see…"Mikasa started off, biting her lip hesitantly before continuing, "I know all of you… are hiding something from me, even you, Levi."

"Mikasa…I—"

"Don't 'Mikasa' me, I want to know what everybody's hiding from me. _You are—you were my formal captain_. So I thought you'd tell me the truth. 'Make a choice with no regrets?' right?" She spoke, quoting that phrase from him. "I won't regret knowing so, _please_. I want to know...I keep having these nightmares on what has happened and its traumatizing and bothersome, so—"

"I can't." Levi cut her short, replying with a flat tone, which seemed to have ticked Mikasa off.

 _"Everyone's hiding something from me! Why can't you tell me?!"_ The raven cried out, she hated this secrecy. It's not like she can force it out from anyone, knowing they'd just lie to her, after all if they wanted to confess the truth her, they would already yet they didn't. Not her squad, not her friends… not even _Eren_.

 _"…I shouldn't be the one telling you, it should be **that brat**."_ Levi sighed.

"Wait—what do you mean—"

"Just… listen Mikasa, for a moment." Mikasa remained silent and nodded, noticing his tone that went serious, and knew she should at least lend him a listening ear.

"I called you out here, not just because you're blind but rather…" He hesitated, taking a second to reflect if the words he was about to speak were too harsh for the girl.

"Just say it, I don't care how harsh it is." Mikasa sighed, taking note of his hesitation.

"Eren and Armin, they don't have much time as you know ..." Levi started. _"Especially Eren_... and I just wanted to tell you to _treasure what's left_ , and _do the things you want with them before it's too late and you start regretting it_. _"_ Levi then turned to see how Mikasa was doing, to only see a dulled expression, though it seemed calm enough for him to continue talking. "Why are you telling me this?" She asked flatly.

"Because I have had friends who died before me, and I regretted not doing things with them, not telling them the things I wish I could've, _like how much they meant to me_." Levi grumbled remembering the life he had in underground town, it was definitely horrible, disgusting and most of all—filthy. But, he had the two friends he'd never trade for anyone that had helped him through his worst. _Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church_.

"Anyway..." Levi continued, shaking off his thoughts, after all this was about _her, not him_. "I don't want any of my squad members regretting unnecessary stuff, plus, those two brats recently had a fallout right?"

Flinching, Mikasa nodded her head. "Whenever I saw you three, Eren was the one who looked like the one who connected you two… now it's your turn... it is unfair for you to be the person who is now 'in charge' of re-connecting the bond you three shared, but _nothing's ever fair_."

"It's a cruel world…" Mikasa sighed softly. Was there even any beauty left in this world? Even if there wasn't she couldn't see it either way. Levi went silent, letting Mikasa asorbed on what he had just said.

 _No regrets..._

 _T_ _reasuring them…_

" _It may be cruel but beauty isn't only something that you can see_." A voice spoke, not Levi's. It was too chirpy to be his.

"Hanji? I thought you were busy being 'unconscious' there?" Levi grumbled, clearly irritated.

"You're so mean as usual!" Hanji laughed as she placed her hand on Mikasa's shoulder.

They weren't close, but they shared some sort of bond. Which definitely strengthened during _one of the many crucial moments_ _in their lives_ , the decision of who should be the one to be _injected with the serum and have his life be saved_. Just that though sent shivers down her spine, and it seemed Hanji had took notice of it before Levi could.

"It's fine Mikasa, and just like what Levi said, treasure what you have, especially time. Doing things before you regret them. And maybe, _you'll understand the depth of the meaning behind beauty_." Hanji lectured as Levi rolled his eyes at the fact she was just summarizing what he had said and only adding her phrase which had seemed to be ripped off from Mikasa, since he had heard her say something similar as to that when they were in the battlefield... _on_ _that day_. And yet Mikasa's thoughts seemed to have clicked better just by the fact her expression didn't looked as troubled as before.

"Yeah… _Thank you, you two_. "Mikasa said, cracking another smile which faded too soon. "But… why can't you tell me what made me blind..? Don't I have the right to know..? And these nightmares are just..."

Although the female raven couldn't see, she could tell the two were giving her a pitiful look as the atmosphere around her felt depressing and had turned into a sympathetic one.

"Because Mikasa… well, all I can say for now is, _shouldn't you have more trust with your lover?_ " Hanji smirked, her seriousness fading away with the satisfactory smirk on her face.

Mikasa went flustered within a second as those words escaped Hanji's lips.

"Oi...Hanji..."Levi growled, a warning for her not to push it, though he did agree with her.

 _"L-Lover? What d-do you—"_

"Pep talk is over. I'm pretty sure you'll understand what this shitty four eyes meant." Levi concluded before standing back up, before helping her up. "I won't hold you up here any longer, your friends are probably waiting..." Levi spoke, but before he could've led her there, she halted in her steps.

"Let me apologize first... for that time... about Erwin and...I'm sorry for overreacting and nearly—"

" _All is forgiven_." Levi responded in a genuine forgiving tone.

" _Yes, it is_."Hanji spoke, in a similar tone as Levi's, just sounding more pained as compared to Levi who was better at concealing his own grief.

With that, Levi scanned his surroundings till he saw the brunette and blonde arguing, groaning softly to himself which Mikasa didn't seem to question as to why once she heard the arguing as they got closer to them. A frown upon her face as both of them edged closer to the noise that had sullen Mikasa's mood, leaving Hanji behind to wait for Levi once he was done guiding Mikasa there, busy being deep in her own thoughts of Erwin, someone who was a close friend of hers.

 _S_ _omeone that she wished could've lived a little longer._

* * *

" _What do you mean by that?_ I've lived with her for so long, I know who she is and—"

 _"You don't know every side of hers, neither do I. You don't even know how you feel, Eren."_ Armin sighed, being rather straight forward towards him.

"I know how I feel, and maybe a small part of me does love her, but the rest of the parts is the opposite. I can't be her everything." Eren argued back, clenching his fist slightly, trying to supress his anger. He didn't really wanted to have this conversation with him right now, _especially when it involved Mikasa_.

"Why can't you just be a little more honest with yourself? And with her—"

" _Armin_. You made a promise to me about _that_ , I expect you to keep _that promise_. And Armin, can you just shut up for a second or I swear I'm going to lose my m—"Before he could've completed his sentence, Levi called out his name as he approached him with Mikasa whom he guided towards them.

He then let go of her hand, placing it in Eren's palm. "That's Eren." Levi told Mikasa who nodded in response. "And you two, I have a piece of advice before I go. "Levi spoke, referring to Armin and Eren. _"Make a choice with no regrets."_ He stated before turning around to leave, when Mikasa called for him to stop, halting him in his footsteps.

"So what choice are you going to make? Now that the war is over…are you going to continue fighting or..?" Mikasa questioned, seeing that the war was over, Levi didn't have any other purpose to continue fighting as far she knows, now that the titans are gone, other than to go and work with the people who defended this place if he wanted to continue _'fighting'_.

 _"Choice?"_ Levi scoffed, taking her question as a joke. "My fighting days are over for now, to say the least. Now that all the titans are extinct, excluding the shifters." He turned and then fixed his eyes on the pony-tailed woman who was still sitting on the bench, reminiscing on memories. _"Now that I'm free, I'm going to treasure every moment of it."_

With that, he started to stroll off to where Hanji was. _"Till next time, you brats."_

* * *

"Eren. Armin." Mikasa called as her other hand reached out to find Armin's, Armin grabbing her hand gently when he noticed she was searching for his.

"Yes?" they both spoke, in sync.

"With the time you both have left… I want to explore the world— or at least _this place, which is outside the walls, with you two… please_ " Mikasa requested as she brought both hands close to her chest, her expression softening to a lovingly one.

 _"Please…just put aside your differences, for me, for this friendship..."_ Mikasa pleaded softly.

 _"I know I can't see. But, regardless… I still want to see the 'world'. **Through your eyes**." Mikasa added, and although it seemed that she was directing the last sentence at both of them, they both knew, **'her eyes', were Eren's**._

"What do you mean by that?" Eren gulped nervously a little uncertain of what she was exactly saying, so was Armin.

"Describe the beauties of the world with me, I've seen the world _before... this_ , so elaborating whatever you've found while exploring to me can't be _that hard_ …please. "She begged again. Although she was unable to see, she still wanted to know what the outside world was like, and maybe she could find out what Hanji meant by the depth of the meaning of 'beauty'.

 _Was it exactly the way it looked like how Armin's books described them to be?_ She didn't know.

Eren's eyes softened at her words, quick to give in. "Of course Mi—" For once the brunette was willing to put aside his selfishness for the sake of her.

 _"No...I can't Mikasa."_ Armin spoke cutting Eren's words, _again_ , though sounding quite reluctant at that.

 _"Wait—why?"_ Mikasa questioned, her voice breaking— _no_. _It was already breaking earlier—it was just broken now_.

"Just hear me out—"

"Oi. Armin. _Stop screwing with me. Stop screwing with her_." Eren hissed protectively, as he stared at him menacingly with his eyes.

"You were going on and on about Mikasa happy, and you do _this_? What kind of idiotic, pathetic and useless friend are yo—"Eren hesitated in his words when he noticed Armin wasn't focusing at him, he was about to burst at that until he found out his focus was on Mikasa instead. Who was trying her best not to cry, although her watery eyes stated otherwise.

Sighing, Armin gripped Mikasa's hand tighter. "Alright, I'll go." Armin said, giving in before letting go of Mikasa's hand, his focus back on the brunette. "Are we cool, for now?" Armin asked as he stuck his hand out, which Eren replied with a nod as he used his vacant hand to shake his. The other hand, holding Mikasa's closely.

 ** _And though the 'friendship' that Eren and Armin had agreed on between each other was temporary , the raven couldn't help but grin to herself, knowing that it wasn't just going to be temporary, and that this was the start of mending what had been torn for so long, a mending of something that'll be permanent._**

 ** _And that's something she can be very sure of._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

After shaking their hands in agreement, Armin told Eren to meet him at the same place as where they were now tomorrow so as to go and wonder about this place outside the walls, where the grass was greener and a variety of newfound flowers grew in a meadow nearby that he had read about in his books.

Before they went their separate ways, Armin had informed the two that now that everyone was free from the walls, they were constructing more houses outside, and apparently they were constructing one for the whole of Levi's squad, considering they did had a big part in achieving this freedom and also it was instructed by Queen Historia.

Additionally, Armin added that Eren and Mikasa would be living in the same house seeing as to Mikasa needed a guide and Armin had suggested it to be Eren since he knew he would volunteer to be her guide either ways, trusting no one but himself to protect her. On the other hand, the blonde said that he would be living with someone else— who he had refused to name and also not too far away from where the raven and the brunette were going to live soon, once the new houses were done being built. As for now, they'll be living in their usual dorms at the survey corp's headquarters. But Mikasa and Eren had a separate room in the dorms, considering Mikasa needed a guide _now_ , who was Eren.

With that, the three went their separate ways, Armin promising to meet up with Jean for a drink, while Mikasa and Eren made their way back to their private room, feeling too tired to do anything.

* * *

Once the two had reached their private room, Eren found it to be more spacious than the one he had previously, and apparently someone had moved all their clothes and such in, and had assumed that it was Armin since he was the one who had blabbered a whole chunk of information that the two didn't seem to know. Eren sighed at that thought, though he did hold _a small grudge_ with the blonde, it seemed that he still cared for the both of them, _and he did too_ , even if he had mixed feelings about the blonde, ever since _then_.

"Hey Eren." Mikasa called noticing the silence that lingered in the air ever since they stepped into the room.

"Huh? Oh yes, Mikasa?" Eren asked as he slowly sat her down on the bed, which they both were going to share—not that he had a problem with it.

"It's very hot today... and I feel sweaty...so I want to shower and…"Mikasa said nervously which Eren didn't understand why she was so nervous about it, assuming she was embarrassed about touching her clothes and undergarments he responded with, "Hm? I don't mind getting your clothes and undergarments... There's nothing to be embarrassed about? "He shrugged as he made his way towards the closet which was already open— the blonde probably had forgotten to close it when he was packing, it was a trivial matter which didn't seem to have bothered him anyway as he searched for Mikasa's clothes, though he had to admit he was slightly flustered when he had to get her undergarments.

"No it's not that..." Mikasa said shyly, which caused the brunette to stop mid-way when he was grabbing her clothes, when he realized what she meant.

 _She's blind._

She can't possibly bathe by herself now, can she?

"O-Oh, I um….." The brunette mumbled nervously as he quickly got her clothes and sat them down next to her before scratching the back of his head nervously. "I-um. I'll go ask a nurse or something, they're probably still around somewhere here... or I can get—"

"I'm okay if it's you." Mikasa said, almost too firmly.

A moment of silence, as the brunette's cheeks burned red.

"Eren..? Hello..?"

"..Mikasa—wait. No, think about this way, _Armin will kill me_ and—"

" _I trust you_."

If only she could see his burning red cheeks, she probably would've asked someone else.

It was odd though, she was nervous about it but not as flustered as he was. He couldn't believe she trusted him that much. Not wanting to argue any further as the raven was probably uncomfortable in the clothes she wore now since it was drenched in sweat— he was too but it didn't bother him as much.

Sighing, he finally gave in. "Okay…" Eren gulped as he grabbed her clothes and brought them and helped her make her way into the bathroom, which even shockingly had a tub that was connected to the usual shower handheld head that they normally used, along with a note stuck onto the tub's side

"Hold on." Eren told the raven as he sat her down on the stool before taking a closer look at the note.

' _This is a message from Levi. Armin told me you'll be living with Mikasa and will be her guide. Considering that, you'd have to bathe her and such. If you do anything stupid, I'll kill you, and that blonde coconut head probably will as well.'_

And for some reason, Eren felt his throat tightening and the aura around him tensing as if Levi were behind him ready to strangle him anytime. Quickly, he shoved that note into his pocket.

That note didn't make him feel any better, it just made his cheeks redder and his temptations rise. "Sorry, I thought I saw something." Eren grumbled, unwilling to tell Mikasa what he just saw and read. When he turned back to her— that was when his cheeks finally represented a tomato. Mikasa had seemed to feel her way through, and had managed to unbutton her clothes—and was already ready to unhook her bra and had already slid down her pants somehow.

"M-Mikasa wait don't! Eren stuttered as he looked away. "At least let me go behind you first..." he mumbled nervously as he slowly, and cautiously made his way behind her, preparing the soap and held the shower's head, waiting for her to completely undress.

"W-wait, you weren't behind me..?" Mikasa responded to his words in a blush as her hands nervously unhooked her bra.

"N-No...Just...I'm sorry..."The brunette stuttered in embarrassment.

"It's fine..." The raven sighed as she relaxed her body. "Just wash my back…"She added, trying to keep her cool.

"O-Okay..." He replied as he started to do as he was told once she was fully undressed. That's when he noticed how soft her skin was when he applied soap to them, even if there were a few scars on her back, _it was still soft_.

"Your... skin is really soft and…so smooth..." Eren mumbled softly and in a flustered tone, as he continued rubbing soap on her back with his bare hands before getting a sponge to continue to spread the soap evenly, before applying shampoo onto her hair. "And your hair is really smooth too…" He complimented along with a nervous laugh, hoping he wasn't making things awkward for her.

"T-Thanks…" Mikasa stuttered, her face as well, turning a bright red, _and boy_ , was she happy that she was faced away from the brunette.

The brunette then used the sponge to rub her shoulders, "D-Do the front yourself...I'm pretty sure you know where to clean in front and w-why—"

"Yeah..." Mikasa cut into his sentence, feeling that if he had continued shed probably have a heart attack of explosive emotions. Grabbing the sponge before feeling her way through where to scrub.

"H-Hey..." Eren stuttered as he continued to shampoo her hair.

"Y-Yeah..?" Mikasa responded timidly.

"D-Don't tell anyone about…this... who isn't aware of this…okay….?"

Mikasa nodded, she didn't want to explain to anyone about this, feeling that they'd tease her everyday or possibly kill Eren, especially if Jean heard about this.

"I-I'll just prepare the tub now..." Eren mumbled before turning on the tap, figuring she probably wanted to soak herself since they never had such a luxury like a tub before. Plus, she wanted her to feel relaxed.

"Hey... Eren..."

"Hm..?"

"N-Nothing..."

Eren only shrugged at her words, not wanting to force anything out of her anyway. "I'll wash the soap off your body… and you can relax in the tub…I'll stay in here facing the wall… for your privacy… and in case if anything happens." Eren muttered as he grabbed the shower's head after preparing the bath as Mikasa only nodded in response.

The brunette couldn't wait to get done with assisting in her shower, mostly because he felt that he probably couldn't control his _erupting emotions_ much longer.

* * *

After all of that, the two finally went to sleep, feeling weary although the sun was just beginning to set. And though the bathing situation they were in was awkward and caused an overflow of emotions, both knew they had to get used to it sooner or later. Plus, Mikasa already trusted Eren with her body, and the brunette still couldn't believe that.

 _And he'd have to learn how to control whatever odd feeling he felt whenever he saw her body._

Regardless of the awkwardness earlier, both managed to sleep peacefully next to one another, holding each other's hands closely, unwilling to ever let go as they drifted off to sleep.

 _They had a big day tomorrow after all._

* * *

The next day, the brunette was the first to awake, and saw that Mikasa was still asleep, and was unwilling to wake her up, admiring the peaceful look she had while sleeping. Even if it was something trivial, it meant the world to him. That she was still at peace and moreover— _with him by her side_. But when he had shifted his hand slightly, it seemed to be some sort of trigger to the raven as her eyes opened instantly. And before she could speak, the brunette reassured her, "Shh... I'm here, just shifting my hand a little that's all..."

"Sorry...I'm just afraid you'll—"

"I won't, because that fear of yours, is the same as mine and that's why... _I'll never let go_." He said firmly, which left the raven in silence, speechless about the fact he could read her so easily now.

They had just woken up and the brunette was already being so comforting yet serious, and loving with her. "Let's go, we have to meet Armin. Don't we?" Eren said smilingly as he helped the raven up, and prepare for the exploration that she seemed to be excited for, seeing that she had a wide grin on her face.  
"Mhm…" She said smillingly.

* * *

"So where do you want to go?" Mikasa asked the blonde.

"Wherever you want to." He smiled in response.

"The ocean then. I like to hear the two of you laughing in joy, since that was both of your childhood favourite place, wasn't it?"

 _No arguments, if that was what she wanted._

And that was how they ended where they were now, far away from the walls, at the beach, standing in the ocean by a few feet, feeling the waves hit them a soothing hello, while the brunette didn't greet them back, he only held the raven's hand tightly, unwilling to let go. Afraid she may lose her balance and fall.

"Hey Mikasa! I found a seashell!" The blonde exclaimed elatedly as he brought the object towards the girl.

This wasn't their first time at the ocean. They had been there before. Just once, before the arguments had erupted. The first time, Mikasa and Armin were enjoying the view, Armin was admiring the seashells in there especially. Mikasa was fascinated by the waves, having felt nothing as soothing and satisfying as such. But, for Eren, his view was different, he wasn't as joyous as the two. Especially when they still had unfinished work. Instead, he had claimed that they were still trap, and not free.

But now, this was freedom. Or so he hoped. The brunette still felt trapped in a cage. Trapped in the walls. And he didn't know why, but he pushed that aside. It wasn't time to be the tragic hero who needed saving, that wasn't his role in this story. To say the least, if anything it'd be—

"Eren! Eren!" The raven exclaimed in enthusiasm as in her palm rested a seashell which Armin had found. "Armin says this seashell looks a little pink… is it?" She asked with a smile.

"A-Ah… a little…kind of..."

Mikasa's hands fiddled with the seashell, feeling its structure and used her imagination to see what it was like. "It feels so smooth... want to feel it?" Mikasa asked the brunette who shook his head in response, "No thanks…" Eren mumbled, and her smile soon faded to what was a frown, her hands losing its grip on his hand, which he tensed at.

"Eh…? I didn't know Eren would be so afraid of seashells." Armin teased, trying to rid the dark atmosphere. "He's scared that the seashell may have pointy edges." Armin added with a taunting look.

"I'm not." Eren said firmly. "Stop being childish, Armin. She already said it was smooth, and I don't want to touch it to have to trust Mikasa or your words." He grumbled.

"But I know what you're afraid of." And before the brunette could response, he realized what that phrase meant when Armin had glanced at the raven who seemed a little upset. "Alright." The brunette sighed as he gently took the seashell out of Mikasa's hands, fumbling it with it with his right hand. It was smooth, and it reminded him of the day before… _Mikasa's smooth pale skin and her beautiful silky hair._ Except, such a seashell shouldn't be comparable to _those parts of her… that were much more heavenly. Especially—_

"Your face is red, is it the heat? Armin asked, a little concerned about the brunette. "Are you actually allergic to seashells? Is that even possible?" Armin said, both shocked and intrigued about that theory.

"No it's not that!" Eren sighed as he looked away, but soon taking a glance at Mikasa who looked as confused as Armin. Feeling the need to explain himself or at least find some sort of excuse, because he most certainly wasn't ever going to tell anyone about that, "I just—"

"It's fine, we can go somewhere else now, Eren, where do you want to go?" The raven asked.

"I…" He thought for a moment, where would be a place that Mikasa wanted to go, considering he was alright with anything, he just wanted her to be happy. Somewhere beautiful, refreshing…

"The meadow that we passed by on the way here?" Eren suggested. The meadow was astounding, the flowers and everything was just beautiful. The grass and trees bath carried a luscious green, the scent of freshly grown flowers reminded him of what he read about spring. And although she couldn't see, he figured she would at least want to know what they look like, since that was her request, what else would it be? Plus, the blonde seemed excited about it too, so he doubted either of them would have issues.

"That'd be wonderful." Mikasa responded, gaining back some of her smile that had curved into a frown just now. "Let's go!" She exclaimed.

* * *

At the meadow, the grass grew tall, the trees were huge and its leaves were able to give them shade. Armin had advised the brunette to rest under them since his face was red earlier, but he refused the offer, since that wasn't particularly the reason, and the blonde only shrugged in response which had reassured him, considering that meant he won't pry into him for the answer.

"Tell me! What flowers are there? Both of you." She smiled as the three strolled slowly around.

"Your turn." Armin said, given he knew Mikasa would probably much rather hear the description from Eren.

"Um…" Eren hesitated as he glanced around to see a sunflower. "There's this flower to your left... it's kind of tall and it's uh… Yellow and it doesn't seem to grow in clusters and—"

"It's a sunflower." Armin cut in, regretting his decision of having Eren take the lead, considering that was the most cringe-y explanation he had ever head in his life. "And I'll explain to you if—"

"No need for that" The raven chuckled softly. "Eren explained it perfectly. "She complimented as she gripped Eren's hand tighter, assuring him there was nothing to be embarrassed about his explanation, since she loved it in every way possible.

"Mikasa… Th—"

"You're too kind, Mikasa." Armin sighed.

"Oi, Armin. My explanation wasn't that bad, I explained it."

"But… your choice of words were terrible."

"Well I'm sorry I don't have a big coconut head like y—"

"Even though you two matured in your own ways, I'm happy to see you getting along in your bickering with childish words." Mikasa cut in, still chuckling in a melodious way which seemed to manage to halt Eren and Armin's conversation. "Getting along? What do you m—"  
"What's this flower? Mikasa asked as she quickly bent down, her hand searching for any flower to pick, so as to have an excuse not to answer whatever the brunette was going to say.

After all, the two had to find out for themselves on what she meant. Once she felt something that seemed like a flower petal, though it was unusually soft, caressed her skin, she quickly plucked it out as she stood up holding the flower. "What's this?" She repeated her question.

"Oh!" The blonde exclaimed. "It's a dandelion..." He trailed off as his ocean blue eyes' attention was turned to somewhere else. "And there's a whole patch of them in front!" He said as he sprinted towards them, Eren and Mikasa following behind.

"Here." Armin said as he offered Eren a dandelion. "They say if you blow the petals off, after making a wish that you want, it may come true." He quickly explained.

"Things like that don't exist, Armin…" Eren sighed.

"You never know." Mikasa responded as she let go of Eren's grip as she used both hands, clutching tightly onto the dandelion. "Don't you have something you wat to wish for?" She asked softly, which once again had melted the brunette's heart with such a melodious tone.

"I guess… but…fine. It's worth a try." He sighed, giving in.

With that, as they made their wishes, they blew their dandelion's petals off, as they spun in the wind, which Armin started elaborating to Mikasa while Eren was too caught up in watching them spiralling away in the wind—it was a remarkable sight indeed. But although he didn't believe in such things, he hoped what he wished for was 'acceptable', since it wasn't a wish for himself.

 _He didn't wish for something he had wanted, but instead, what he wished was for someone._

"What did you two wished for?" Mikasa asked curiously.

" _It's a secret, and you should keep it as one too, the more likely that they'll come true_." Armin responded with a smile.

* * *

After roaming around the meadow, the girl was exhausted and kind of hungry, considering her stomach had just rumbled a moment ago which caused the raven's cheeks to blush red in embarrassment.

"Hungry?" Eren asked as she nodded embarrassedly in response, finding it rather cute.

"There's an apple tree nearby, we walked by it just now, and it seemed to have fresh apples, why not snack on that?" The blonde suggested which the two agreed.

* * *

Plucking apples from the trees nearby wasn't an issue for the two men, considering they were tall after all. As for Mikasa who couldn't see, she laid down against a tree, taking a short nap. Tired from all the walking, and overwhelming happiness that she finally felt with the two, though the two she was referring to didn't notice that factor.

"Hm...Mikasa's asleep, we should head back while snacking on these." Armin spoke before continuing, "Plus the sun is setting, it's best to head back before night in case we get lost."

"Yeah..." Eren answered as he searched for the best apple for the raven, always wanting the best for her. He didn't know he could've been this picky, especially over apples. But that was the least he could do for now, for her, to please and satisfy her hunger.

"It's shocking you know." Armin sighed, speaking in an oddly happy tone.

"Huh?"

"That you're so soft with Mikasa now, since in the beginning of everything you pushed her away."

"I was an idiot back then, its different now…"Eren sighed in response.

"Thank you, you know." Armin spoke, his words seemingly halting Eren's movements, Eren looking a little confused. "Thank you, for helping me out with the bullies and stuff as a kid and so on. I know we have our disagreements but can't we be friends again? Not just for her, _but for us_?" Armin asked softly. "But if you despise me that much it can't be helped." He chuckled nervously.

"Armin…"Eren mumbled, hesitating for a moment as he then processed what the blonde had just said for a moment. " _I don't despise you that much_. It's just everything and everyone has changed. I don't even understand your reasoning anymore. Why didn't you want to explore with Mikasa anyway?" Eren spoke, seizing the opportunity to ask that question.

"Because, I don't want her to feel like a burden, not being able to see and yet she still tries to sew us together back as friends, like… _her scarf_ , for instance, non-stop and painstakingly whenever it was ripped..." Armin sighed. "No one likes feeling like a burden after all…"Armin grumbled softly, remembering the past him who'd have always assumed he was a burden and rather be dead. But now, he knew it was different. At least he hoped.

"Armin… I—"Before Eren could've completed his sentence, his eyes glance to the corner, to the tree Mikasa supposedly was laying at. To see that, she wasn't there.

"Mikasa's gone!" Eren shouted in a panic. 'Where could she have disappeared to? I shouldn't have taken my eyes off her. What do I do now? What if—'

"Eren calm down." Armin said in a calming tone. "Even if she's blind she can handle whatever opposes her. You need to have more faith in her, so, instead of assuming she's a _helpless little girl_ since she's blind, and seemingly more vulnerable when it comes to you… understand that, _she is still someone strong_." Armin added, almost sounding frustrated, leaving the brunette in silence, _speechless_.

'Vulnerable? With me? What…?' He thought silently.

"No time for lecturing or daydreaming, she couldn't have gone far. Let's go. Drop the apples." Armin spoke as he walked off in fast pace, his eyes scanning about, Eren following behind, doing the same as he called out her name, hoping she'd answer.

* * *

"What is it do you want? Why bring me out here?"

"Even when you're blind, I still sense the familiar strong guard and 'monster' aura you have."

 _The raven tensed._

"Don't worry, times have changed and I don't plan to hurt you."

"Then? Talk."

Sighing, the person who led her out, alone and defenceless, turned towards the raven.

 _Crystal eyes reflecting on the raven's dulled grey ones._

" _I said talk, Annie."_ Mikasa hissed, impatient.

* * *

 **A** **uthor's note: Sorry for the late chapter update! Personal things came up... so this chapter's longer!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

"What is it do you want? Why bring me out here?"

"Even when you're blind, I still sense the familiar strong guard and 'monster' aura you have."

 _The raven tensed._

"Don't worry, times have changed and I don't plan to hurt you."

"Then? Talk."

Sighing, the person who led her out, alone and defenceless, turned towards the raven.

 _Crystal eyes reflecting on the raven's dulled grey ones._

" _I said talk, Annie."_ Mikasa hissed, impatient.

* * *

Annie sighed in response to her impatience, a beast like her can't even keep her cool, that was to be expected anyway.

"I always saw you as my rival, and a beast. And I'm sure you at least saw me as a rival as well, unless you consider me 'weak'" Annie spoke with caution. She was sure not to mention any sentences that remind her of her blindness, even if they were metaphors or idioms. She wasn't that cruel or horrible to do so. Moreover, she didn't really consider Mikasa as someone she hated—not a hundred percent at least.

"Get to the point, I didn't let you bring me out here to hear a lecture." Mikasa snapped, which Annie only let out another sigh at, but what she said was the truth though.

Annie had just finish being interviewed or rather, interrogated by people of authority about whatever was that they didn't know about history outside the walls that she knew. Knowledge that she had learnt as a warrior. She was exhausted, to say the least. But she was relieved that she wouldn't be locked up in prison considering she did play a part in ensuring victory and freedom that the people have now.

"Of course I didn't want to give you a lecture. If I wanted to, I wouldn't have brought you so far out here so that Armin and Eren would take a while to find you." Annie grumbled. She did plan to have a private chat with Mikasa some time. It was just a coincidence that when she was taking a stroll outside—she was too. It was also pretty easy to convince the raven to follow her. All she had to do was bring up her precious friends after all, the only troublesome part was leading her out here considering Mikasa had zero trust in Annie as of now.

"First off, I want to apologize for nearly killing your friends, comrades. But you knew I didn't have a choice, right?" Annie spoke, in a genuine sincere tone.

Mikasa nodded, though she did scowl quietly. Obviously she didn't come out here for this information.

"Secondly, the reason why I called you out here, and the reason why you bothered even coming out here…" Annie spoke, hesitating a little before continuing, "As you know, Eren has like, 2 years left if I'm not wrong, Armin has like 10 years or so …" Annie shrugged. She was trapped in the crystal for quite a while, which stopped time for her a little. But she decided not to bring up the time she had left, knowing Mikasa didn't want to hear that.

Annie's eyes averted its gaze to the lake next to the two, as silence started filling the air. "And knowing you, you'd do anything to save them from such things… sadly I don't mean to raise your hopes or anything because I don't have an idea of it as well and—"

"Why did you really call me out here, Annie?" Mikasa asked, figuring her mentioning Armin and Eren to her earlier was just bait to lure her out here, alone. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was at a disadvantage if Annie were to start a physical fight with her. But, she still had the confidence to pick up where they left off from their combat back in the military that was stopped by their captain— who didn't wish any one of them to die in their own combat.

"Why… hm… you caught me red handed." Annie shrugged as she continued, "I feel guilty, alright? Those hundreds—no, at least more than a thousands of lives that I've killed... and—"  
"And why are you telling me this?" Mikasa spoke, cutting her off her sentence which Annie sighed at again, at her impatience although she couldn't blame her.

"Remember what you said to me that time? Our conversation that started because you found my defence mechanism ring?" *******

 ***** Lost Girls reference. (It's an Attack on Titan novel and manga and now to be an OVA, google for more specific information on it.)**

"Yeah…?"

"That conversation just… I don't know it's hard to explain. Our relationship is some sort of rivalry isn't it, but sometimes…"

"You wished things could've been different since you find us 'alike'? And thought we could get along?" Mikasa spoke, finishing the sentences Annie nodded in response.

"We're nothing alike, Annie." Mikasa spoke as she let out a sigh. Their conversation so far was basically useless and a waste of precious time. Plus Eren and Armin were probably searching for her. But, she couldn't blame the blonde for apologising. Odd enough, the raven did feel sympathetic, though she refused to show it to someone like her.

"But, times have change and so many people have told me to move on, so should you. So if you don't have anything else which is important to say, then please leave." Mikasa spoke simply, her tone growing a little cold.

"There is something… how's Eren and Armin doing? At least answer that." Annie asked, considering she hadn't seen them since during the small chit chat on her role during the war. "They're doing fine, why do you ask?" Mikasa questioned, a little suspicious over the fact she had brought the two up. Especially since she heard rumours that the first time Annie showed the slightest sign of smiling was when she was with Eren, plus they had trained together quite often during combat lessons back in the day. She wondered why she was concerned over such a trivial thing, but one thing's for sure. She didn't suspect that jealousy was the answer.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to eat them up. "Annie answered rolling her eyes as Mikasa clicked her tongue, in annoyance, at her 'joke'. "I'm just curious… and just _between us girls_ , I kind of… have an interest in your blonde friend."

Mikasa tensed up immediately. "What? _That joke isn't even funny_ , I thought you saw me as a beast? Either way you can't—"

"That's for Armin to decide." Annie spoke finally as she walked closer to Mikasa. "He's not a teenager anymore, you don't have to act like a protective sister around him or whatever, it's not like I'm bothering you or and your lovable Eren." Annie scoffed as Mikasa's cheeks blushed a little.

"E-Excuse me? What do you—"

"We'll talk about this another time when you're calmer around me." Annie sighed, seeing that Mikasa was still a little blunt with her feelings. "Is there any questions for me though? I've dragged you out here for my selfish reasons." Annie spoke, considering if she did wanted to know any information on Titan shifters she was able to provide what knowledge she had knew about them.

Mikasa thought for a while as she felt Annie's presence nearing her which caused her to tense a little but relaxed considering she was sure she wouldn't hurt Mikasa—if she wanted to, she could've already. "Well… will you answer _any question_?" Mikasa asked quietly which seemed to stun the blonde a little seeing that she didn't sense any of her coldness in her words, and assumed the question was either something about Eren—since he was always the trigger for her vulnerability—or so Annie assumed, or it was something else she probably wouldn't know how to answer. "Yeah… if I know the answer." Annie responded, keeping her cool as her crystal eyes found itself on her dullen obsidian ones, and couldn't help but soften hers in sympathy.

"How… did I become blind?" Mikasa asked as she felt Annie's eyes fixating at her as she turned towards the direction where she had felt her sympathetic aura which had surprised her enough. "Everyone's been telling me they don't know or made up stories that don't make any sense… Eren told me he was elsewhere so he didn't know, but that's a lie since formations can get messed up and I don't even remember anything. Armin only told me that I'll know someday… I don't understand why they're all treating me like some sort of lost child..." Mikasa grumbled, elaborating the circumstances to Annie although it did sounded more like a rant or vent rather than a clearly elaborated explanation.

"They… didn't tell you why?" Annie said, kind of shocked as even she knew what had happened. And to be frank, many people knew except a few who were stationed or placed somewhere else during the attack. "There must be a reason why, sorry Mikasa but that's something—"

"You said you'd answer me." Mikasa spoke, though she didn't sound frustrated, she sounded desperate for answers instead.

' _Poor girl.'_ Annie thought silently. At least in her opinion, Mikasa deserved to know regardless how 'cruel' or 'despondent' the truth was. As much as she wanted to tell Mikasa, she was sure if she did, Eren would probably start a fight with her despite the fact he seemed more 'tamed' as compared to before. And Annie didn't want that, plus she believed she deserved to hear it from Eren himself. Or Armin. Anyone but her.

"Look… Mikasa I—"

"Do you know... how much it hurts? Being consumed by this darkness? The fact you can't even see your precious friends when it's time to say goodbye? Do you know how that feels? It's painful. I'm going insane at the fact that I don't even know the damn cause of this curse…" Mikasa said, trying her best not to break, especially in front of someone like her. Although her trembling body said otherwise. "I can't see anymore. I'm useless. Even if the war's over and no one needs help anymore, I still feel useless at the fact I can't even save Eren or Armin."

"Huh? Save Eren and Armin? What do you—"Annie was about to question till Mikasa had cut her off.

"I can't even save them from being… so sad. They try to be happy in front of me but, even though I can't see. I know. I know that they hate seeing me like this, _blinded_. What's worse is that everybody thinks like they know how I feel, what I need, what I want. Like I'm some sort of transparent piece of sheet! I'm not. I know that they know and that you know what caused this…" Mikasa spoke, her blood boiling as her voice showed some anger and agitation in her tone. "Did… _Eren_ cause this..?" Mikasa asked quietly which caused Annie a little bit overwhelmed at her sudden flow of emotions—and especially, her question.

"What… makes you think that?" Annie asked.

"I'm not stupid... tell me!" Mikasa screamed. Feeling Annie's presence close to her, she reached out her hands and felt her and was quick to find her collar before grabbing it tightly with brute force.

 _"TELL ME."_ She screeched as Annie soon found herself losing air quickly, but was stunned at the fact she managed to do that, considering she was blind and all. And she looked so vulnerable a few moments ago, _what happened to that?_ She was basically suffocating Annie.

"You're… _really a beast_." Annie breathed. Though she didn't attempt to fight back, out of sympathy Mikasa had already let go of her collar by then, realizing she let her emotions get the best of her. "I'm sorry… I just…"

"It's…okay." Annie reassured as she tried to catch her breath and regained her balance. "I'm sorry as well… I can't tell—"

"Why… Why can't anyone tell me… is it because it really is Eren—"Before she could've completed her sentence, Mikasa felt a sharp pain piercing through her mind at the sudden thought that her theory on Eren causing this was true. She was trying to remember, but mentally it was causing her brain pain as it tried to lock that information far away. It was obvious that she was in pain when Mikasa had collapsed to the ground, her body trembling more than ever.

At the sudden sight, Annie grew concern and worry as she rushed over to the fallen raven. "Mikasa! Breathe…" Annie said not knowing what to do or say to help the raven calm down.

"Everything hurts!" She screeched even louder, which caused a whole flock of crows to fly off a tree—No wait, that wasn't the raven's doing. As Annie turned her attention to the distracting flapping and series of loud caws for a brief moment, she noticed a familiar pair of emerald and ocean blue eyes. And the fact that it seemed the owner of the emerald eyes had punched that tree which was probably home to the birds and was the cause that scared them away.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Eren hissed as he stormed his way to Annie while Armin rushed over to Mikasa to check her pulse.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MIKASA?!" Eren roared as his fist was about to shoot a punch at Annie, who braced herself for the worst— not even bothering to defend herself in the few moments before Eren was possibly going to break her face and skull.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note: I apologize for some grammatical errors in this chapters and the previous ones. I'll be sure to update/change them tomorrow. Updates may be a little slower (A day or two late) Due to personal issues that'll clear up in a week or so.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

As Eren's fist was about to make contact, ruthlessly, at Annie's face, Armin yelled for him to stop, in such a desperate tone. And at that, Eren halted his actions as he took a glance at the panicked Armin.

"We don't need fighting right now! Do you think that'll help Mikasa?"Armin asked, frustrated at his actions. "No it won't!" He answered before any of the two could, in a tone mixed with anger, annoyance and disappointment at Eren's vulgar and unnecessary actions.

At that, Eren's clenched fist soon loosened up, though his glare at Annie remained hostile. "What did you do?" He scowled.

"I did… nothing." Annie said simply, still shocked that Armin's words somehow managed to stop Eren's raging fury from disfiguring her face. And before Eren could scream his lungs out at her again, she continued. _"She did this to herself."_ Annie concluded, her words leaving both Eren and Armin confused.

Her crystal eyes met with the brunette's emeralds, shooting a look of _blame_ which the brunette took immediate offence at and was about to retaliate with his fist until she finally spoke again, "She asked me how she became blind. I told her it wasn't my place to answer, but _yours_. And then, she started to scream before falling to the ground." Annie explained as Armin was trying to calm the hyperventilating raven with words of comfort, which did soothe her a bit and stabilise her breathing a little as she took deep breathes, though she was still sweating and fidgeting uncomfortably.

"One word, _nightmares_." Annie summarized as Armin's eyes softened sympathetically at the pained raven whereas Eren's emerald orbs reflected a mixture of emotions. "I don't know what you did and did not tell her, but one thing's for certain. The more things you hide from her, her time will be up even before you." Annie spoke, referring to Eren who wore a blank expression after hearing the word 'nightmares', though a look of worry and anxiousness did show a little on his face at the thought of Mikasa leaving this world before him.

"What are you doing here, Annie?" Armin asked, as his ocean eyes met hers, having a mixture of hate and uncertainty within them.

"I came here to apologise to Mikasa personally, I mean, she is in a pitiful state..." Annie answered honestly as her eyes broke contact with Armin's for a moment as she glanced at the raven who seemed to have calmed down, though her eyes had a weary dulled look as her orbs stared blankly at… _at the_ _emptiness around her._

'Poor, Poor girl. She looks so lost.' Annie thought silently.

Her own orbs then fixated back at Armin's. "And though it isn't a great time to apologise to you two, I am sorry for what I've done as well but back to the point—…"

"What a joke…" Eren finally spoke, "that someone like you is apologising…" Eren scowled.

"Calm down, Eren. At least I'm apologising in an honest way, what about you? _You liar_." Annie accused, and though Armin was prepared to break up the 'expected' fight between the two, Eren, however, seemed to return to his speechless and blank state after hearing her words.

"To hear _someone like you_ call me a _liar_ is unbelievable." Eren grumbled, letting out a weary sigh, as his eyes fixed on Mikasa's orbs which looked pained, burdened… _lost_. "I'm sorry." Eren muttered quietly as he shifted closer to Mikasa, whose eyes were blinking, trying to keep awake to hear the rest of their conversation, desperate for the truth.

"Rest… please." Eren pleaded silently, seeing that her forcing herself awake was probably doing no good to her health currently. Plus, he couldn't look at _those_ pair of eyes any longer.

His soft words, managed to make Mikasa surrender to her weary state and soon, she passed out, out of exhaustion from her seemingly 'panic attack', or what Annie called, 'nightmares' earlier.

"You ought to take her to a doctor or something." Annie spoke, her voice leaking out an obvious concerned tone for Mikasa.

"Since when did you ever care about her?" Eren asked, as he turned towards Annie, his eyes still hinting a form of hostility towards her—though Annie couldn't blame him for that.

"Hm... why? Maybe out of sympathy. I mean, _look at her_. She's blind and you didn't bother telling her anything. You can call my apology a shitty sense of humour— _but your lies are sickening_." Annie responded, her words managing to keep the brunette's mouth shut as he stared guiltily at Mikasa. "And Armin, you have almost the same look as the guilty one over there… I can't believe someone like you would lie to her. _Out of people, her?_ Or you're at least, keeping something from her, aren't you?"

 _Silence._

"… Remember our talk? About the term of a _'good person'_?"

' _Good person'_ , those two words, were enough to make Armin tense up, as he slowly nodded his head. "I don't think, Mikasa will see you two as 'good persons' once she finds out about everything." Annie sighed as she turned around and started walking off. "Plus, she already suspects that you caused it, Eren" She added, finding it necessary to tell him, and spoke a little loudly so that the brunette could hear— the same brunette who was tensed, frightened, at her seemingly 'harmless' words, that were instead, definitely painful to hear.

"Annie." Armin called, which made Annie halt in her steps subconsciously.

"I won't lose this bet, of being a 'good person' to Mikasa." He spoke, as the familiar pair of crystal eyes met his ocean orbs again. "That's for Mikasa, _and Mikasa only_ , to decide… also, Eren, I hope you won't lose that bet either. We'll see each other soon enough." And with that, she left.

"What kind of shitty bet is that?" Eren grumbled as he turned to the blonde who wore a similar look of exhaustion as compared to the unconscious Mikasa. "Let's head back. I'll carry her… it isn't much of a long walk anyway." Eren sighed as Armin nodded before helping Mikasa's unconscious state onto Eren's back for a piggyback ride back home.

* * *

' _She's lighter as compared to before…_ ' Eren thought silently, taking a mental note to get her some food to eat when she wakes back up, while a familiar thought came to mind.

Eren, then, remembering the last time he ever gave Mikasa a piggyback was when they were running away from the titans who attacked one another after he launched a punch at one of them, who became the target for the others.

He remembered that day, the day where he thought all hope was lost. When he thought he was as useless as ever… until Mikasa gave him back the hope he supposedly lost with words of truth and pure honesty, _words filled with passion_.

' _Thank you for teaching me how to live'_ , those were one of the many phrases that brought back some hope he had lost back then, because it reminded him that he wasn't as useless as he claimed himself to be. He remembered it clearly. The look she gave him when she spoke what he assumed that she thought were her 'final words', mostly because she made it sound that way. Although he couldn't blame her for that.

 _But._ The look in her eyes when she said what she said back then, words couldn't describe how beautiful and lively they were. And now… _that's all gone._ Because even if she was truly happy now, those lively eyes will never be the same as it used to.

"Hey Eren…" Armin mumbled, breaking both the silence and Eren's thoughts. "Do you think… Mikasa will really see us as 'bad persons'..?" Armin asked quietly, staring at the ground, looking almost as guilty as the brunette was.

"I… honestly don't know… but as much as I hate to admit it, Annie's right… about the fact that it's Mikasa's choice and… that I'm a liar. A pathetic liar…" Eren grumbled, sounding upset and moreover close to tears.

"Tears can't solve anything, Eren… trust me. I'd know." Armin sighed as Eren quickly wiped them away. "I know that… but… it's just… everything's my fault." Eren mumbled as he glanced at Armin, seeing the guilty look he wore and sighed. "Don't blame yourself for what happened then. It was my fault..."

"But—"

"Armin... please. Let me shoulder this burden alone. I have no intent dragging you down with me," Eren responded, his voice trying its best not to break. Armin only nodded in response silently, his eyes fixed on Mikasa's unconscious self and only heaved out another heavy sigh. "Today was supposed to be fun…" Armin mumbled to himself quietly, words almost inaudible although Eren managed to hear all of it.

"There's tomorrow…"

 _"But how many tomorrows will we have left together…?"_ Armin responded subconsciously which caused Eren to remain silent, and questioning himself deeply.

' _Was this really the right choice?' The brunette questioned._

* * *

Once they reached back, Eren quickly rushed back to their room to check Mikasa's state, after setting down her unconscious body on the bed cautiously.

Physically, she looks fine. She didn't seem to be having any nightmares.

Despite being advised by both Annie and Armin earlier on to bring her to the infirmary, he refused to. It's not like the doctors or nurses know how to handle, or _heal someone like Mikasa._

Eren reached out, caressing her cheek lovingly. "I'm sorry, Mikasa… I haven't really been honest with you lately…" He mumbled quietly, his eyes' focus fixing itself on her and her, _only._ His eyes then finding itself looking at the scar below her eye, which he caused due to his violent and reckless actions.

 _Till today, he still blamed himself for that._

 _The fact that he, nearly killed Mikasa Ackerman._

"How can you forgive someone like me…? Is it because I wrapped that scarf around you? Because I saved you back then? I mean, saving you from them was a natural thing for me to do… who knew it meant so much to you…?"

Although he did have a better understanding why Mikasa was so attached to and protective of him back then, he couldn't fully understand nor even comprehend the reasoning the raven had for forgiving him so much. "And… you even already suspect that I caused this… hah. I can't blame you for that… but, only question why you're being so damn nice to me even though you suspect me…causing this…" He sighed quietly as he found himself playing with her silky hair.

"Your hair's getting longer… but it's not like we're going to be using those 3-D manoeuvre gear anymore… you can keep it long if you want…" Eren mumbled, twirling her hair gently a little, before his hand then went to reach for hers, gripping it tightly. "I'm so, so sorry… for everything. You don't have to forgive a pathetic shit like me." Eren teared up, his tears soon falling. "Ah sorry... got a tear on you…" He chuckled lightly, yet sounding so hopeless, as he wiped the tear away.

 _Except, what he didn't realize was, that wasn't his tear._ _It was hers._

Mikasa was partially awake, but too weak and exhausted to move nor open her eyes— though personally, she didn't feel like opening her dullen eyes would do any good for Eren.

' _Eren…'_ she thought silently, having heard his previous words clearly, she tried her best to hold back whatever tears that felt like spewing out. She couldn't let him know she was awake now. It'd probably make him feel worse.

' _Eren… I don't care if you did this… because…'_

Another tear of hers seemed to slip, but Eren was busy sobbing quietly to take notice.

' _Because… you mean so much to me…'_

Eren's grip on her hand tightened a little as his muffled sobs became a little louder.

' _But… I have to know… I need to know if—'_

* * *

When Armin had open his room door, the last person he expected to see was Annie, who was leaning against his wall casually.

"Annie…?"

"Don't get any wrong ideas. I came to get answers." She said simply as her crystal orbs locked on his ocean ones automatically. But she was careful not to stare so deeply into them. _She didn't want to drown in them after all_.

"I want to know why you didn't tell Mikasa anything. And before you ask why I care so much, it's because it's out of pity, and sympathy and most of all. This isn't like you. Plus, I am curious." She added quickly before the male blonde could question anything.

"Annie… you may have heard how Mikasa got blind from the superiors talking but it isn't that true…"

"So you expect me to believe Eren didn't punch Mikasa in the face, rampaging about? It's a surprise that, that beast is even alive—"

"It's not like that!" Armin cut her off, some tears forming in his ocean orbs, Annie, taken aback at that.

"Sorry…" She apologised quietly. "I'll leave you alone—"

"No, wait. You should know the truth…"

"No I don't. You'll lose the bet if you do so…" At those words, Armin tilted his head not understanding what she meant by that until she continued, "Because, Mikasa should be the one to hear it. And I think, at this point, it doesn't matter who tells her, as long as it's the truth." Annie sighed as Armin bit his lip. "What are you suggesting, Annie?" Armin asked as Annie walked towards him, placing her hand on his shoulder, though her eyes weren't locked on his anymore, because she didn't wish to drown in them, in his tears. "I'm suggesting, _you should tell her_. Before she goes off doing something reckless. You know very well that although she's blind, she isn't a dense person." Annie spoke before her hand left his shoulders, then leaving his room.

Leaving Armin alone with his now overflowing thoughts and questions.

"Damn it..." He cursed quietly to himself, before clenching his fist and punched the wall in frustration or was it sadness…? He didn't know.

But what he did know, was that Annie was _probably_ right, and he wished she wasn't.

* * *

' _But… I have to know… I need to know if—'_

"Sorry Mikasa... my lies may have to continue a while… for your sake, I can't stand see you _breaking_ anymore...especially… if you knew what happened…" He muttered quietly, cutting Mikasa's thoughts midway.

'… _you're wrong Eren…'_ she thought silently as the brunette soon laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. As much as Mikasa wanted to push him away and scream for him to be honest for once, his warmth made it even harder for Mikasa to stay frustrated. Her heart just melted when his arms around her tightened, his sobs softening little by little.

' _Eren I…'_

Eren started mumbling apologies repeatedly into her ear.

Another tear slipped out of her, as he apologised profusely.

' _Eren… you're wrong…so wrong… I'm already broken.'_

 _And then, darkness overwhelmed the two broken, lost and definitely, exhuasted souls._

* * *

 ** _Author's note: I'll correct any grammtical mistakes later. This chapter was a little rushed so i apologise if there were any mistakes. please leave a review! Also do tell if i did make any mistake(s) and I'll correct them. Thank you for your patience!_**


	7. Chapter 7 – The Cruel Truth (Pt 1)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

 **(Please read till the end and Author's Notes.)**

 _Darkness that night, wasn't only consuming the ever so sympathetic raven who was cursed with it._

 _That Darkness, seemed to be haunting another one._

 _Armin Arlert, the blonde who'd dream about happiness outside the walls._

 _Only now, haunted with nightmares— or rather, flashbacks of the cruel truth._

"Mikasa! You can't! Eren's on a rampage!" Armin screeched at the top of his lungs. "He nearly killed me… what If he kills you too? We have no other choice but go with Plan B and—"

"Armin." The raven hushed as her obsidian orbs stared down at the blonde, in such a sullen matter. "The plan already failed. And I do not wish to take any part in Plan B. I will not allow Eren to be _killed_."

There were some hesitation after their exchange of words, the blonde found himself questioning a lot of things, and he decided to question the raven too. "But... why…? Mikasa… I…" He bit his lip hesitatingly, not wanting to say the rest. Although, it was already crystal clear on what he wanted, what were his intentions as he stared at his bloodied hands, prepared to tear his skin viciously apart in order to transform into the colossal titan—if that meant Mikasa would be safe, would reconsider her rebellion towards Plan B. Yet to no avail.

The raven proceeded to walk towards the blonde, her hand covering his comfortingly.

"It's not the time to let your emotions get the best of you… get up." She whispered as she helped the blonde up.

"Armin, listen…" She started off, turning her back, as she stared at the rest of her squad members trying to tame the rampaging Eren, before they resort to their last resort which was to _end him_.

Meanwhile Annie took his place temporarily, charging towards her once known comrades—now _enemies._

'How cruel…' Mikasa thought silently before she continued her little chat with Armin, "I'm not doing this just because of Eren… I'm defying orders because I know if Eren is killed, _there will be no tomorrow_. He has that titan power…that he trained so hard to use it perfectly. I will not allow Humanity to die off because we decide to use the cowardly way out of this. Because… I know nobody, not even you, would want that… you may have the Colossal's power, but you look exhausted and judging from your severe fresh wounds—that don't seem to be getting any better at all… you're clearly unfit to do so." She sighed quietly as she ruffled the blonde's hair, as if that would make anything better or less tensed for that matter.

"Till later, Armin." Mikasa spoke as she was about to fly off until Armin grabbed her by her arm, though weak, it managed to make Mikasa halt in her steps.

"Why…? It's only _you_ who's going to do that…you against the whole squad, even against humanity's strongest soldier who doesn't want anyone defying orders—"

"Because, Armin…" She said halfway as she gently loosened Armin's grip. "That's the only way we can win… Now, head back to Hanji's squad to the North, they need you." Mikasa smiled as she flew off to where the rampaging Eren was.

Armin bit his lip, was this really the right way to win? And what was with _that smile_ …?

He didn't know. What was there to understand with her logic?

"Damn it…" The blonde cursed under his breath. He was exhausted, though, he had only transformed into his Titan state less than 5 times and yet he was exhausted. Additionally, his healing speed was starting to slow down.

' _I'm pathetic… a burden…'_

He started contemplating whether if he should listen to Mikasa and head to where Hanji's squad was, follow on his Plan B or if he should go and help Mikasa _, his dear friend_.

The grey sky was packed with ominous dark clouds. Though dull, it caught his attention.

 _He knew he shouldn't be alive, and that it should've been Erwin, not him._

Yet, he was here, all beaten up, leaving his own plan into other's hands due to his cowardice that he thought he got rid of years ago. He didn't want to be a burden anymore, especially when they've gotten this far, _especially when he was the chosen one to wield the Colossal's power._

That mental realisation was painful, very, _very painful. So painful, inside he was numb._

At some point, he knew he had to make his choice. And it had to be quick, seeing as to everything was falling apart faster since their first plan had failed. 'Which choice will lift the burden off from my shoulders?' He thought silently as he soon felt raindrops pelting down onto his head. He then turned towards the direction where Mikasa had left to, it seemed that she was trying to get the others to back off of Eren—who still tried to swipe Mikasa away.

' _How foolish of him…' Armin thought, clenching his fist tightly._

Armin knew if he didn't do something, everything and everyone that had been sacrificed would have all been for nothing.

That was when, the blonde finally made the choice, _his choice_. The choice he least expected to have chosen. He was going to help Mikasa, because somewhere in his complexed and messed-up brain, did a voice echo in his head that, one, he shouldn't betray the raven who had saved him from despair, and two, that _Mikasa was right_.

 _Humanity needed Eren, in order to win. Why else would such a curse be bestowed upon him? Upon them?_

"Screw everything!" Armin screamed at top of his lungs as he swung off to where Mikasa was,turning a blind eye to the critical physical condition that he was in.

* * *

"Oi! Ackerman what the hell do you think you're doing?" Levi yelled, frustrated at the raven who he figured decided to defy earlier orders and plans. "We all agreed to kill Eren if he were to rampage, even _Eren agreed._ We don't have time for some shitty emotional wake-up call! This is war! Hanji can't hold them back any much longer!"

"Sorry, captain… but…" Mikasa hesitated in her words as she drew out her blades. "This is the only way to win." She snapped back as she quickly avoided Eren's oncoming punch to her. Mikasa's plan was to somehow get Eren out of his nape— _without getting killed_ , and hopefully manage to snap him out of this madness. She knew this plan was terrible from the start, she only agreed to it since her trust in Armin was always that strong. Eren's transformation had indeed be improving, but with the mental stress, his titan form would go insane sometimes. Like now, unable to recognize the real enemy.

A part of her did know that defying orders in such a reckless matter was because of her own damn emotions, her selfishness. How could she not? How could she not be selfish of wanting the last bit of what was her 'home' stay alive?

Humans are like that. Mikasa knew that this selfishness will lead to disaster, that it was bound to bite her back.

But she couldn't give up without trying.

Looking at the people with Levi, she figured they wouldn't dare charge at Eren unless they had the guts to now that she was here. Except Levi, that was someone she had to be wary with. "Captain, just trust me!" she shouted as she managed to land on the mad Titan's head. "You're going to get yourself killed, you idiot! We just lost more than a hundred lives only a few minutes ago, if we lose someone as skilled as you, we'll be low on manpower! How is that winning?!" Levi yelled back, trying to be reasonable. He didn't wish to kill any one of his comrades, even Mikasa, who was defying orders and being rather idiotic at such a critical time.

It didn't take any moments of hesitation as Mikasa voiced out, " _Kill me then_. But, if we kill Eren, we're all screwed." Mikasa said simply, as if that was something so casual to say. She managed to dodge all of Eren's attacks and fly up to his nape, and just as she was about to cut Eren out, Eren's fist launched itself towards the raven, about to send her to her grave.

 _Until…_

"Armin?!" The raven gasped in shocked as the blonde took somewhat severe damage from Eren's punch as he fell down on the ground, hitting a few rocks down the way until Mikasa retreated from her plan for now as she quickly grabbed Armin. "Why'd you do that?!" Mikasa cried out.

"Because Mikasa… you're right. We need Eren in order to win..." Armin said weakly, though Mikasa took notice his titan powers were still healing his damage— _but slowly_ , and was thankful for that.

"Armin…" Mikasa mumbled, as tears clouded in her eyes, blaming herself for being so careless. Just then, Eren's titan form turned around, and he started running towards where Armin and Mikasa were once he spotted the blonde. At first, Mikasa was confused at his sudden actions, until she noticed Eren had a frustrated look as he ran towards them, and cursed under her lips.

"Oi. Let's go!" Levi said as he quickly arrive to where the two were, grabbing Armin's weak body before he flew off, Mikasa following behind. "Captain—"

"Shut it for now, Ackerman. The other squad members left to help Hanji and the rest. And if it's only just you two 'reliable' brats, then I'm willing to listen to another idea… if it isn't something reckless." There were some hints of sarcasm in his tone, and obvious disappointment with the two which made Mikasa, especially, looked down with such guilt in her dulled orbs.

"Eren's chasing after us, he's getting slow. If you want to get him out so badly we'll have to deceive him and cut him out, but that'll be hard since he became much more sharp and observant." Levi suggested, though he seemed a little uncertain of his own plan.

"Then that leaves us with one plan…" Armin mumbled.

" _I'll be the bait_. You know how much he hates me now since _that argument_. Put me down somewhere and as he's… _killing me_ , you get him from behind since he's already distracted with killing someone already… but you guys will only have a few seconds and—"

"What do you mean _'killing you'_?" Mikasa quickly cut in, her tone anxious, "If you think I'm going to—"

"Mikasa please… we don't have much choice left. _Sacrifices need to be made_. Plus, we don't have much gas left as well… we can't keep going on any longer..." Armin pointed out as Mikasa bit her lip, as she searched for words as a proper retort.

"Ackerman, Arlert just saved you from Eren's fists thanks to his good judgement of coming after you instead of heading back to Hanji's side which was the original formation. Didn't you want to save humanity? "Levi asked as Mikasa nodded, drowning herself in more silence, uncertain of what to or what she should say.

"Good, then we'll use Arlert's plan… I know it's a painful last minute resort but if this is what you two believe will help humanity then… I'll trust your judgement. But one wrong move and I'll handle Jaeger, understand?" Levi asked—though it sounded more of a demand. Knowing they had no other options, they nodded their head in agreement.

With that, Levi quickly dropped the blonde in a visible, open and spacious area for the rampaging titan to target, as he and Mikasa went to hide in an area out of Eren's view.

Mikasa felt like the entire situation was her fault. If only she didn't gave him that shitty talk earlier which was probably the motivation for the blonde to even come after and rescue her. She didn't know why she was recalling what she was now, and what she was recalling was that Armin always assuming and thinking he was a burden.

Because right now, she knew _she was the burden_. _Not him_.

Though, she hadn't given up hope—not yet. Not when she knew there was the lightest bit of possibility of saving Armin, even though it was a small one, she still held on tightly to that hope.

She couldn't let her emotions get the best of her. And yet…

 _'Why am I crying?'_ she thought to herself as she and Levi hid, far away from Eren's point of view. _'Is it because everything's going to be over…? Why—'_

"Ackerman."

Mikasa looked up almost too quickly at Levi, frightened by the sudden stern and hostile tone he now had.

"Make a choice with no regrets. I apologise that your blonde friend will be sacrificed but this choice will not be regretful, _at least not to him_." Levi spoke referring to Armin, who even from afar, Mikasa still knew the face he was making.

She figured he probably had a look of someone who was about to give up, or worse, a look of someone who had already given up.

' _Make a choice with no regrets?'_

This wasn't the raven's choice at all. It was more of an obligation due to their current situation. If she could make a choice, any choice… that'd just be heaven.

' _A choice with no regrets?'_

 _A second passed by, followed by a minute._

 _And Mikasa knew that there was no choice right now, that wouldn't leave a little regret._

"Sorry, captain." Mikasa apologised, in a genuine sincere apologetic tone which managed to tear away Levi's focus on the rampaging titan that was closing in on Armin, his focus now fixated on the raven, who he hoped wasn't plan on doing something stupid again. "Oi. Don't you dare make another mistake, we don't have—"

"I'm sorry." Mikasa said finally before she swung herself up and back into the air, causing the other raven to yell at her with inaudible curse words. She couldn't blame the shorty though. But regardless, this was a choice she knew she could never regret. Because, she was going to save Armin. And she was willing to die in his place if she wasn't able to save herself in the process. She didn't know what had overcame her to make such a choice like that.

 _Hell, she knew everyone had already lost their shits, and she was about to, as well._

"Armin!" Mikasa screamed, as she was about to return the favour of blocking Eren's oncoming attack.

"Mikasa?!" He said in too much of a shock as the look that Mikasa predicted faded away into a look of anxiousness. "Don't!" He yelled.

 _But it was too late._

Eren noticed the raven's presence. Which was the raven's intent. "Armin! Escape!" Mikasa screamed at the top of her lugs.

And within a blink of an eye, the rampaging Titan flicked Mikasa, causing the raven to fall far back, until gravity forcefully dragged her back onto the rocky ground ruthlessly.

 _Blood was slowly oozing out of her._

Everything went blurry, but she saw a familiar figure— Levi, who had grabbed the blonde, flying what she hoped to be far away.

Her vision soon turned blurry.

 _Yet only one thing remained in her conscious mind as she flashbacked to the day where Eren had saved her… where he said those words that filled her motivation to fight, to live._

' _If you don't fight, you can't win'_

 _As those words echoed in the raven's head, she cracked a smile as a tear sneakily escaped her eyelids, the world dimming and spinning before her._

'… _Sorry Eren, I couldn't win… because I couldn't fight. I couldn't…I can't…kill…you…'_

 _And then, everything became dark— pitch black._

 **Author's** _ **IMPORTANT**_ **Note: (UPDATED 12/3/18) changed a few things, so if you are re-reading this for whatever reason, some dialogue, conversations and such have changed a little.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _And then, everything became dark— pitch black._

* * *

"Mikasa! NO!" Armin screeched before he found himself back in the present after being woken up by that one hell of a nightmare.

Except, unlike all the normal nightmares… this nightmare had happened, long ago. It wasn't just a dream turn sour, it was the past of the reality before.

"Mikasa…" Armin mumbled to himself, still startled over what had happened. "Annie's right… I can't keep running away… I can't hide the truth… I don't want to be a 'bad person' to her… nor Eren… ah, I'm crying." Armin sighed as he noticed tears dripping out of his ocean eyes that were going through a thunderstorm.

He didn't understand why it had to be like this. Why it had to be her not him. Though, he would blame himself for Mikasa's loss of sight, having assumed it was his selfish desire of his want to witness and explore the salty ocean's waves, flaming water, land made of ice, and fields of sand spread wide that caused it.

After all, if Mikasa didn't push him out of the way… wouldn't he be the one trapped within the dark?

"What's the point of seeing the beauty in this cruel world when the beauty herself can't even see it? It's a joke gone wrong." Armin sighed before dragging himself out of bed, before walking towards the door.

"I have to tell her what happened…" Armin concluded before he walked out of his room, to find the raven.

The truth could not wait any longer, Armin knew that. Any longer and Mikasa would've lost it with all those nightmares, all those voices or rather, screams of the deceased ones that echoed repeatedly in her mind.

Armin had noticed Mikasa's slight change in her behaviour recently. The soldier who was worth a hundred always had a… strong and confident aura that would surround her, her guard up which wasn't easily lowered in the first place. Yet now, despite her tries to maintain that same mental strength, it was obvious that she was breaking.

It wasn't that her vulnerability was exposed more often, it was more of… _sadness, pain._

She was growing sadder every day, that pain she carried must've been tough— the pain of not knowing. But, there were times that a genuine smile would still form on her lips. Most times, it was because of Eren.

The brunette had already knew how much impact he had on her life, however his lies still continued, his burden only heavier. And his regret? It was already at its limits, and yet it kept growing and growing.

Everything would've been much easier if only the truth came out. If Eren told Mikasa, who would obviously forgive him. But to Eren, her forgiveness wasn't enough to atone for his mistakes— his sins. And to Eren, death would be the atonement, he didn't need to say that out loud for the blonde to know.

But he was still living—despite his few years left. Armin assumed it was because of Mikasa, though he was sure it was much, much more.

Up till now, he still kept secrets from Mikasa, Armin couldn't blame him too much for that. It was to protect her after all, from the trauma. Who knows what'd happen if the truth was out? Would Mikasa recall everything and go through something worse than the flashbacks and nightmares?

No one knew. And Armin, despite knowing the risks, decided to answer her questions. If not now, when? Like glass, she was fragile. The truth ought to be said with caution— nothing too detailed on the deaths and such.

Soon enough, the blonde found her and Eren's room. Odd enough, the door was slightly open.

 _'Did they go somewhere?' he thought._

Slowly opening the door, with a few creaking sounds here and there, Armin tiptoed towards the bed, and he was half right.

Mikasa was there, asleep. _Eren wasn't next to her._

 _It was two or three in the morning, where was he?_

"H-Help... me…" Mikasa whispered in her sleep, her body fidgeting uncomfortably as her grip on the blanket tightened.

Immediately, Armin shook Mikasa in an attempt to free her from the monsters that corrupted her dreams, anxiously calling her name.

"Mikasa? Mikasa! It's Armin!" He called repeatedly.

After a while, her eyes slowly opened, to reveal a dull pair of orbs, full of pain and sorrow… _was she crying?_

"Armin…? What are you doing here… is it morning already…?" Mikasa yawned tiredly. "Wait. Where's Eren? I don't sense his presence…" Mikasa spoke frantically as her hands stretched out and around to check if she was wrong. Except she wasn't.

"Calm down he's… out on a walk. Getting some fresh air." Armin lied.

'Just this one time… forgive me for lying, Mikasa.'

"I need to talk to you about something…" Armin trailed off, hesitating a little as his fingers fiddled with one another nervously. "I… It's about… what happened— the truth."

Once those last two words escaped her lips, Armin could've swore he saw some colour in those dulled, dead eyes. Words that were both like a miracle and unknown to her.

 _"The truth…?"_

"Yes. No lies this time."

"…talk." Mikasa said simply as she sat up slowly, giving some space for the blonde to sit, who refused to. He felt he didn't deserve such kindness.

"Alright… but tell me if it gets too… sensitive. I don't want you to pass out." Armin spoke, which Mikasa nodded to.

"So… Where do I even start…?"

 _"You too."_

"Huh?" Armin asked, confused.

"If you get all caught up in your emotions, it's okay to cry… I know— or at least I think I know… that Eren or you caused… this." The blonde's eyes widened in shock, stuttering inaudible words, unable to respond in an articulate matter.

"Why else would you hide it? I know I'm vulnerable but… I'm not that dense to not know… well, I don't know what specifically happened but… you get the point."

 _Silence, and then teardrops._

"It's okay, Armin… _to cry_."

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry." Armin apologised, falling onto his knees as he sobbed. Mikasa then shifted to the edge of the bed, reaching out her hand, searching about before placing her hand on top of the blonde's hair, ruffling it in a comforting manner.

"It's okay, Armin." She reassured. "To me, you're still a _good friend_." Mikasa smiled.

 _That smile… Those words. How can she say those things? How can she still smile?_

 _"You're too kind, Mikasa…"_

* * *

"What are you doing out here?" A familiar voiced called out to the brunette, who was busy captivated by his own thoughts.

"No _'brat_ '?" Eren guffawed.

"How funny." The male spoke sarcastically as he stood next to the brunette heaving a heavy and rather disappointed sigh, before continuing, "Idiotic Brat."

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes: I have been busy with Exams, Tests and Quizzes... i forgotten life was this stressful haha. short update, sorry. Chapter 9 or 10 will be 'The Cruel Truth part 2.' if you're wondering. I will be going on a hiatus for a while though (Not like i haven't been doing that now lol, this time I'm telling you when I'll be back by), i should be back latest by March. And i may change**_ **Chapter 7** _ **a little, the content will be the same, only the way it's written that's all. (e.g. language, tone etc) That's all.**_


	9. Chapter 9 - The Cruel Truth (Pt 2)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

"What are you doing out here?" A familiar voiced called out to the brunette, who was busy captivated by his own thoughts.

"No _'brat_ '?" Eren guffawed.

"How funny." The male spoke sarcastically as he stood next to the brunette heaving a heavy and rather disappointed sigh, before continuing, "Idiotic Brat."

Eren took a deep breath as he turned towards his formal captain, figuring a conversation was about to be started whether he wished to partake in it or not. It was clear as day he'd much preferably not want to. After all, there was a reason on why he had decided to head outside, to have a breather. Despite his wishes to stay with Mikasa, it was clear the two needed some alone time— or at least him.

"I should go, in case Mikasa is—"

"If you were so concerned about your precious Mikasa, you wouldn't have left her all by herself now, would you?" Levi scoffed, cutting off his words with his own that seemed to have stung the brunette a little. "You would've stayed by her side as long as she needs you to, so tell me brat, why are you here?" Levi questioned, as he sat himself down, staring out blankly at the nothingness that Eren had seemed to be captivated by earlier.

Though, Eren could not argue or retaliate with that, not because it was all that true, rather he didn't know how to without contradicting himself a little. Levi was partially right, if he had cared he should've stayed by her side instead of leaving her alone in the room, in the dark. Except, his own guilt got the best of him, and he couldn't stand it—stand being in the same room with Mikasa, for she was one of the reasons why his guilt would suffocate him, along with his untold truths. Yet, she wasn't one to blame, it was himself, he knew that. But, somewhere in Levi's cold-hard statement was he _so wrong_.

"I can't stay by her side as long as she wants, you know that fully well. I can't be there for her or with her forever. Hell, she deserves better, not me. Back then, I would've always pushed her away. She doesn't deserve a jerk like me" Eren sighed before continuing, "Although, you're right, I should be by her side now. As much as I can. Now would you excuse me—"

"You don't have to go so soon, I saw that coconut head rushing to her side on my way here. You should've seen his face, worried, anxious." Levi remarked, though it didn't surprise the brunette too much that Armin had rushed to her side, he already predicted he would, and already figured his reason as to why he wore such a 'worried, anxious' look that Levi had described.

"Of course… who wouldn't be worried and anxious about someone as fragile as her knowing the truth…?" Eren grumbled, his tone laced with some traces of hatred for the blonde who plan to unveil every lie.

" _And you aren't going to stop him?" Levi scoffed._

"… I would love to, but… she has to know at some point, plus I'm sure you would've stopped me from running away anyway." Eren spoke as he rolled his eyes agitatedly. "I suppose she has to know, and when she does, I'll disappear away from her. It makes no difference, she can't see me anyway. She doesn't need me, and—"

"What kind of crap are you spitting out? I don't think I need to explain or elaborate how wrong you are. For fuck's sake Yeager, this wasn't all your fault, or Arlert's or anyone else's." Levi groaned, resisting the urge to kick him across the face for such a shitty answer, for Mikasa's sake neither did he wish to have another unnecessary fight with her which wouldn't end well even if she were blind. If it involved Eren, she would still have the strength of a hundred soldiers or more to fight.

" _'Wasn't all my fault'_ huh…" Eren let out a sigh, as he looked down, recalling the events that had happened on that day, where almost everything was lost and where Mikasa lost something.

* * *

"Mikasa!" Armin screeched, "No! Sir, Captain… we have to go back... Mikasa's—"

"Arlert, she's gone… it's too late we have to focus on the main target. If not, her death was in vain." Levi instructed, and though his tone held the same sternness, there was definitely some sort of despondency that laced with his words, like with every death he had witnessed. Except, this was the most tragic one he had probably seen thus far in his team. Making a choice without regrets, that's what she had done, yet that choice left others with regrets… like the blonde he was carrying on now.

"Drop me on Eren." Armin demanded, his tone suddenly grew fierce. Which definitely caught Levi off guard.

"What?"

"Just do it, captain. If anything goes wrong, I'm sure you'd know what to do."

Levi was a little hesitant as to do as told, but the fury and rage that showed in the blonde's eyes said otherwise. They weren't ones that were blinded by that seething anger, he saw some logic in them At least he hoped there was.

"Alright." Levi agreed, before he swung up to the raging titan as he dropped Armin onto his nape before he left, hidden once again, preparing for the worse to come.

" _Eren!_ " Armin screamed, and with clenched fist he striked them at his nape.

"Can't you see what you've done?! You've… killed so many..."

 _Despite his words, Eren was still acting with violence, recklessness._

"You've…"

 _He tore a tree from the ground, his arm heading back as he prepared to throw it aimlessly—yet it seemed to be aiming at the supposedly dead raven unintentionally._

"You've _KILLED_ Mikasa! _You damn fool!_ " Armin screeched as tears escaped his ocean orbs, as his fist continued pounding onto his nape.

 _Hesitance._ _Eren wasn't moving, he stood rooted to the ground. And just as his head was about to tilt towards the blonde, Levi came in, slicing his nape while he was distracted._

Armin was thankful he did, he didn't wish to see or know what face he was making. Whether it be one of remorse, guilt or a look of someone who lost everything that kept them sane.

* * *

"And then?" Mikasa asked softly, her tone was fragile.

"And then…after Levi sliced his nape, we got him out. The war continued, Levi went back to fight while I stayed with Eren… Long story short, after Eren had just gain back conscious, we explained everything, leaving out the fact he… 'Killed' you, but once we won, he noticed you were missing. He started asking, no one responded, only until when he ran off, he saw you lying there, looking so lifeless. That's when it seemed he gotten back some flashbacks of what had happened. Before we could have dragged him away, he refused to believe you were gone. When he went a little closer, he noticed you were breathing slightly—but weakly. And of course, we brought you back to get proper medical attention. Thankfully, you woke up but…"

"I lost my sight." Mikasa finished his sentence.

Mikasa let out a heavy sigh. It wasn't too much to take in, she figured out for the most part. But there was definitely something about that story that both oddly lifted up something off her shoulders yet it sent chills to her stomach. "Thank you for telling me… does Eren know that you're—"

"No… but I'm sure he'll know. Hey… Mikasa—"

"Armin you don't have to apologise, its fine… this is what I get for being selfish, wanting to save you two. And I do not regret it. I do not regret saving you two one way or another." Mikasa muttered softly, and even without having to see, she could tell the blonde was trembling. Searching for his hand, she gripped it tightly once found. "I feel better now that you've stopped hiding, I feel… so much better. But…"

"But…?"

"But Eren… he's still hiding, and I can't find him."

"What do you mean by that…?" Armin questioned softly.

"… I feel like he's just hiding something else… and it's burdening him, I know it. I can feel it. And I can't seem to find out why, I can't find the thing hiding..." Mikasa spoke, trying her best to explain what she meant, though it didn't come out as elaborate as she hoped it would be. But it was enough for the blonde to understand— and figure out.

"I know what you mean… and your answer… but that's something you should hear from Eren." Armin sighed as Mikasa nodded in agreement. "I know, it just hurts."

"The fact that Eren's not being honest with you…?" Armin queried.

"That and…"

"And…?"

As Mikasa exhaled out another heavy sigh, her grip tightened on the blonde's hand by a little. Her eyes closed slowly, and it seemed she had a reason why she did, she didn't want him to stare into her empty orbs once she revealed what she had planned to say, after all she figured it'd only make things worse if she found Armin drowning himself in despair after a glance at her orbs. "You know, being blind… you know what the worst thing about it is?"

"…What…?" Armin prompted, although he didn't wish to know the answer—he was frightened of it.

"It's that…"

* * *

"Even if it wasn't all my fault, a part of it still is." Eren sighed.

"Honestly, Yeager, stop being all… a mess. You have so little time left and what you plan to do is have a pity party for yourself, Mikasa or whoever? So what if it is your fault? So what if it's hers or Arlert's fault? Are you going to keep running away? She can't even chase after you anymore, and yet you seem to be distancing yourself at the same time you seemed to be pulled back towards your dear Mikasa." Levi spoke as he took a glance to the brunette, and before he could speak a word, it was Eren's turn to cut him off.

"Why did you come out here, Levi?" Eren questioned as he turned towards him narrowing his eyes.

Levi sighed as he stood up slowly, "To tell you to get your shit together or you're really going to find yourself regretting a lot at your last breath." He spoke plainly as he started walking off.

"What should I do then? I don't know what to do..." Eren grumbled, sounding rather helpless at that, letting a little of his vulnerability slip through.

Levi paused in his steps after having noticed the vulnerability that he had unintentionally slipped through, but he didn't look back. "How much of an idiot can you be?" He spoke sounding a little irritated at the fact he hadn't gotten a hint on what to do. "You can start by being honest, just to let you know, from what I've seen, building up lies or placing things aside when you can handle now—people who do that… regret isn't the only thing they'll feel."

"What is the other then…?"

"… You'll find out if you keep living your life the way you are now. Though I suppose after _this_ , you would hopefully change." Levi spoke before he continued walking off, _"Don't be an imbecile, brat. Don't do things that'll you'll regret."_

"… You don't have to tell me that." Eren mumbled as he continued staring off at the sky, the sun seemed to be slowly rising, its rays slowly erasing the darkness of the night. How easy it must be for the sun, it has nothing to hide, then there's the moon which described the brunette's situation. It was always hiding, in the dark... and only came out if it wanted to, metaphorically. "Ah... I hate everything." He groaned.

* * *

"…What…?" Armin prompted, although he didn't wish to know the answer—he was frightened of it.

"It's that…" Mikasa took a deep breath once more before she revealed the answer that the blonde wished he didn't have to hear, _"I will not be able to see you two go, peacefully..."_

"M-Mikasa… what do you—"

"You can't be that blunt… you know what I mean. How'd I know if you or Eren passed away peacefully? I can't see it with my own eyes. I can't trust anyone for that matter. _What kind of face would you or Eren be making when you go? Sad? Happy? Regret? Will you be crying as you do?_ I don't want that… _Just one last time, I want to see_ … I want to make sure you both pass away peacefully, if not I'd forever remain unrest..." Mikasa spoke, trying her best not to break.

"It's not important… Mikasa—"

 _"You don't understand!"_ Mikasa cut off his words, and though her eyes were still sealed shut, some tears manage to break its way through the walls she had built up. "I want to see… you both smile for the last time. It's hard to explain, the feeling you're having when someone you care about dearly disappears from you— and you can't even see that person in the first place anymore… the last time I saw you, you were being dragged off by Levi, you were crying… and Eren… I can't even remember, but it wasn't a smile that's for sure. _I can't even see you two anymore…_ _and all I selfishly want is to see you two one last time before you go... that's all I want but that can never happen.._." Mikasa cried out, before her cries were muffled as the blonde pulled her closely into a warm embrace.

 _No words were exchanged, nor was there a need to._

A few moments, the door slowly creaked open. The blonde looked up, the raven turned.

They didn't needed sight to know who it was. The sudden increase tension of the atmosphere made it clear enough who was standing at the door.

" _Eren…?"_ Mikasa called out his name, ever so gently, no rage nor hatred did she hold—despite knowing everything, her eyes slowly opening at the thought or rather hope to meet his ever-so beautiful emerald orbs.

Pitch black tore down the hope she barely even had in the first place, she should've known. She should've known to have never get her expectations up, for they always came crumbling down.

" _Eren…" She squeaked out once more, hoping to hear at least a response to make up for the vision she lacked._

* * *

 ** _Author's note: I'm back, updates would still be a little irregular, hopefully I'll be able to update this once or twice every month. If i manage my time and find some muse,it'd once every week or 10 days! I hope this chapter seems better. I also changed/updated chapter 7 a little. Please leave a review, i would love to hear out your thoughts and Thank you!_**


	10. Chapter 10 - His Feelings,His Truth

**I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _"Is she okay?" Jean asked, almost immediately in worry when the brunette had entered the room._

 _"She's…doing some tests for now... and I have to tell all of you something…" Eren grumbled miserably as he looked up from the ground to see everyone's eyes fixed on him which added pressure to the male. "I have something to speak of as well." Armin spoke out, in an unusually grim tone. Just a moment ago he was in tears with the others and it was odd to see him change expressions that quick._

 _Then again,_ _everything's different_ _._

 _Everybody's changed_ _._

 _Eren looked up at the blonde, he was as unsure as everybody else on what the blonde had to say in such a stoic tone, and to be frank that terrified them._

 _"And I'm sure it's going to be similar to what Eren was going to say..." He took a deep breath._

 _"About…Mikasa…"_

* * *

Eren remembered that conversation ever so clearly, the one where the squad and him had a discussion. For one reason or another, the memory of it was flashing back into his brain at the sudden sight of the pitiful raven. The raven in which his emerald orbs softened painfully at her dulled, obsidian orbs.

* * *

 _"About…Mikasa…"_

"What about Mikasa?" Jean had questioned.

"Most likely, she will be blind." Armin stated simply, there was no need to hide behind falseness, or any sort of false hope which had obviously blended into fogs of despair.

Just before he could continue, Sasha had cut him off, "B-But she'll be fine right?! How did this happen?!" She spoke, anxiousness running through her veins.

Armin didn't respond, instead, he took one glance at Eren before staring blankly at the palm of his hand, leaving everyone puzzled, clueless. Until Jean pieced them together, giving Eren a piercing glare as he gripped him by the collar. "You did this?!" He snarled in rage.

Normally, the brunette would fightback. Normally, he would be using hurtful words to curse at his defence. Normally, he wouldn't have been quiet. And yet, his emerald eyes only glanced at Jean for a moment, giving an eerie feel which was enough for Jean to let go of his collar grudgingly. "Yes. I did this. _I fucking did this to Mikasa._ _And you think I like it…?_ You think id hurt her like this, on purpose?" Eren finally spoke. Although, he sounded more disappointed— in himself— rather than angered or infuriated. It was a shock indeed.

"It was my fault too." Armin admitted. "I wasn't able to save her… and I really, really hate myself for it. "I…" Taking a deep breath to recollect his thoughts, and not have a mental or emotional breakdown, the blonde briefly explained what had exactly happened, not wishing to go into further detail—unwilling to revisit that traumatic event that'll either way be stained in his brain.

Despite knowing the cruel truth, the cruel reality of what had happened, no one cursed at the other. No one shot menacing looks at Eren or Armin, No one… was mad.

"…It wasn't intentional. And there's no point in looking back. I'm sure neither of you two wanted it to have happened… if you're telling us this to ask for forgiveness, there is no need to. It is unnecessary… but… whatever you do from now on, if it hurts Mikasa deeply, I'm sure none of us will forgive you." Jean had voiced out, sounding rather genuine. The others nodded in agreement as Armin looked away, both in guilt yet relief, whereas, Eren scoffed.

"We're not asking for forgiveness, we're just telling you the facts. Whether you forgive me or not doesn't matter—"

" _What about Mikasa?"_ Jean brought up, unhesitatingly, leaving Eren caught within a few moments before he responded, " _She…_ why do you even care so much about this horse-face?"

"Because, you plan to lie and hide away from her don't you? Because you're afraid of what's the consequences of her knowing? That's sickening, even Armin isn't afraid to tell her and you—"

Armin quickly covered his mouth, giving him a look before he let out a weary sigh. "End of conversation. We don't need any more arguments, or fights. The war is over, let us enjoy the peace for a bit." He reasoned, which jean grudgingly agreed to. Whereas, Eren was just gazing out the window, blankly staring into mid-air. He didn't seem enraged at Jean's statement. He had his reasons.

"You're right though, Jean. As much as I hate to admit it." Eren grumbled before he faced back at them, having a sorrowful look before he did _something._

 _Something that no one would ever thought Eren Jaeger would do._ He kneeled down, setting his pride aside for a moment, before giving a pleading and desperate look, his voice only exaggerated it more. _"Please… don't tell Mikasa, I beg of you._ I know karma will bite me back but... for now, _please…_ "

* * *

Thinking back about it now, he had wondered why he'd have requested or rather, begged for such a thing, when he knew those lies would bite him back. That he'd have eventually been exposed.

"Mikasa…" He spoke quietly, as slowly and carefully did he approach her. Armin giving him warning glares, a sign to not mess up and not worsen the raven's emotions. "I'll leave you two alone, if anything happens Mikasa, scream." Armin said simply, before he got up and left the room.

Eren couldn't even be mad at him, already knowing his secrets were out, and in came the harsh truths that were about to slaughter him.

Slowly, his hand reached out to grip Mikasa's slowly. She didn't tense, which led Eren to have instinctively given her a hug.

There was a small silence between them, Mikasa's sobs had stopped as the warm embraced managed to shoo the gloom away—for now.

The silence was great and all, but she knew peace wasn't forever.

 _At least, for now._

"Will I _finally_ be able to find you Eren?" Mikasa asked softly. "Will I _finally_ know what you're hiding…?"

Eren's hug tightened, his eyes filled with uncertainty, worry and of course, despair. A part of him was thankful that Mikasa wasn't able to see him like this. But hell, he would rather have her see how much of a mess he was than not see at all. He would rather have her see, instead of for her to grief, to suffer in this annoying silence and darkness, growing agitating each second.

As much as he would like to act all blunt, and ask what she meant, in hope to find an escape, but he could no longer use the coward's way out no longer. Not like this.

"Armin told you everything didn't he? What else do you want to know…?"

" _Your feelings."_

The fact there was no hesitation in what she wanted to know had definitely caught Eren off guard, for he was unsure of what response he had wanted to give her that was able to satisfy and relief her of her worries.

 _And the thing she wanted to know… 'Feelings'… what did Armin exactly tell her? Or did she…_

" _Your emotions."_ She said simply. "There's something… _burdening_ you, isn't there? I can feel it…" Mikasa emphasised, hoping to receive a response, and yet all she got was a hug that grew tighter, but comforting each second. It was calming to feel his warmth, but what she sought wasn't that, it was to understand the brunette.

"Remember that one day we went to that dandelion, make-a-wish field?" Mikasa spoke, side tracking for a bit.

"Yeah… what about it…?" Eren finally spoke.

"What did you wish for…?" Mikasa asked, her curiosity growing. "We both know… that wishes like that won't be granted so easily, even if the smart one says otherwise." She gave off a light chuckle.

It was sad, really. The fact that Mikasa had maybe felt a glimpse of hope when she had made whatever wish she had made, and now, she sounded as if she had given up on such a thing. And it ached the brunette's heart to even assume such things.

And then, again, there was silence, from Eren.

 _What he had wished for…_

 _That wish…_

 _Was it alright to confess it? To her?_

After another moment of silence, Mikasa continued, "Well, I'll tell you mine first… It _wasn't_ for my vision, if that was what you were thinking. No one, in this day and time, in this hell of a cruel world could ever restore it. Even if there was a way… fate has a twisted way to grant me such selfish wishes."

Scoffing softly, the raven slowly pulled away from the brunette's embrace, as her hand searched for his cheek, which she then caressed ever so gently at.

If only peaceful moments could be longer. And even If they could have been extended, Eren's deadline wasn't. _Death was an inevitable thing._ Even if the brunette can escape from it, there was no doubt that in return, someone else would not be spared from death's grasp. And for one reason or another, he felt the person to suffer such tragedy would be Mikasa.

There was no doubt, after all, she was always the one saving him from death, back then when his reckless tendencies were more frequent as compared to now. And she'd always get hurt from saving him. Even if the injury was something simple like a mini paper cut, she was still hurt. To make things worse, somethings it would be his yells that would've emotionally hurt her.

That was the worst thing he could've ever done to her, and _he did._

 _He regretted it._

Most of his yells would either be because Mikasa was either being protective, or if she did anything dangerous or worrying. Although recently, before all this, he found himself being a little... softer towards her.

When did that start again…?

Ah, he remembered. Maybe, it was that day when Mikasa had expressed how thankful she was to Eren, and why she was. Why she felt indebted to him. He only wished she'd have done that anywhere except in that dangerous situation they were both in— when they were about to have been eaten by a titan. Then maybe, the two could've had more of a proper conversation. Instead of one where it felt death was after them

 _But now… can they even hold such a conversation filled with much depth of emotions?_

 _Ah, he didn't know, neither did she, probably._

He somehow found his emerald eyes instantly gluing itself to Mikasa's pained orbs. It had hurt him too, definitely.

She probably knew he was making eye contact with her—despite her being blind, she knew. She knew whenever Eren's eyes were on her. Only his, and she wished she knew why, and why did it feel so…

No words could've described what she felt whenever the brunette would explore deeper into her eyes, such emotions were _indescribable_ , and she wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing.

Though dull, there was always something beautiful Eren would've seen in her eyes, whenever she was excited, exhilarated… happy.

Shaking his head a little, to drag himself back to reality, he spoke, "So… what was that wish…?"

"… It sounds selfish. It does. I wished… for the people whom I consider dear… to stay with me a little longer. To stay." She confessed, forcing a smile. "It hurts, when you go, I won't be able to see you in the end, when you… leave. You won't get it… but…" She closed her eyes, to both keep her tears in and to avoid his eyes diving into hers, for reasons she didn't wish to express. _"It's a painful… agonizing feeling."_

"It's selfish, I know. And fate may twist that wish terribly… but if anything, it's obvious I'll receive those terrible consequences." Mikasa laughed a little, though it sounded fake, just like her smile earlier.

'So she… still has hope after all?' Eren thought silently, but he was half-right. She had hope, but not for herself. But instead, for the 'people she found dear.'

Who were they…?

"One of them is you. Please don't leave me all alone." Mikasa said suddenly, the hand on his cheek suddenly trembling, which Eren quickly grip, tightly, before pulling her into another embrace.

And again, silence—with soft-sounding sobs from the raven.

"Mikasa… how I feel…" Eren mumbled, deciding it was right that he could at least have tried to express how he was feeling. Although the only thing that could've described it right now would be missy scribbles.

"Guilt… I guess. I mean… this was all my fault…" Eren admitted quietly, as he felt Mikasa wrapping around him as well, tightly, comfortingly.

Both seeking solace from the other.

"You're wrong... _it wasn't_..."

"It was, Mikasa—"

" _It wasn't!"_ She yelled as her embraced tightened. "Don't you dare say that. How can you say that? Why are you blaming yourself? I don't even blame you—or anyone! Eren… Eren believe me when I say this wasn't your fault, and that you shouldn't feel any burden. Thinking that you're the guilty one? No… stop this… stop carrying this unnecessary burdening guilt!" Mikasa wailed, and it got louder each moment.

She couldn't take it, and neither could the brunette who was starting to tear up himself.

"I'm sorry… I don't know… I just… I just want you to be happy." Eren cried softly.

"But why? You deserve more happiness… you have so little time left…"

Eren frowned, " _No… you deserve it_. Don't you dare think you don't deserve happiness because you do! …You deserve everything and anything good."

"Why… do you care so much about me? I don't understand. Why?! Why… Eren, I am a burden. Stop caring already. I'm your burden right? Then discard, avoid me! Hate me… yell at me like before. Tell me that I should back off!" Mikasa retorted which only caused Eren to pull away—but to only end up gripping her shoulders tightly, whether it be out of rage or an act to reassure her, it was all good intentions.

"Mikasa! _Stop it with this nonsense_ …don't you know why... why I care so much… _my feelings_..."

"Huh..? What are you saying…?" Mikasa asked after some hesitance, sounding unsure, and afraid to even know what he had meant.

" _Mikasa Ackerman, I'm in love with you."_ Eren said firmly, and he could've swore, he saw disbelief in her eyes which had opened widely in shock, and he also saw a form of sadness yet happiness at hearing those words.

His memory suddenly flashed back to his wish, back then in the meadow of wishes.

 _He didn't wish for something he had wanted, but instead, what he wished was for someone._

 _He had wished for Mikasa to be able to move on, and live happily without him. For he, to find happiness without him or anyone. Her own happiness._

 _Eren now only realised a possible reason why it hadn't come true, it wasn't because it was just a 'myth', but rather Mikasa's wish, for him to stay probably got tangled and conflicted up in his._

 _That's probably explain the situation he was in, the twisted way of fate… but was this really twisted?_

 _To tell Mikasa how he felt… 2 or 3 years before his death day. When he could've lived in silence, and not mess anymore of her emotions up?_

 _He hated himself so much now._

 _"E-Eren… w-what…?"_

 _"I love you, Mikasa Ackerman…" He mumbled, as even more tears flooded his eyes, and he didn't know why._

* * *

 ** _Author's Notes: Chapter 10 finally done! I hope it's okay. More to come... after my next hiatus ends. To be continued in May! I have exams, so i have to sadly set this aside for now. Please leave a review!_**


	11. Chapter 11 - Her Heart,Her Lies

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _"E-Eren… w-what…?"_

 _"I love you, Mikasa Ackerman…" He mumbled, as even more tears flooded his eyes, and he didn't know why._

His voice was genuine, sincere… it didn't lack any honesty at all. _That was his truth, his feelings._ And goodness, Mikasa didn't know what to do, what to say… _or how to feel._

On one hand, Mikasa felt odd flutters in her stomach, and she knew exactly what that feeling was. She recalled clearly what that feeling meant, her late mother once told her it was a feeling of nervousness, not because of something like giving a speech in front of millions, but rather _because of someone. Someone whom she held very, very close to._

On the other hand… _she felt unsure, conflicted… confused._

In the first place, Eren's words—despite being so simple— were just incomprehensible for the dear raven, whose heart was palpitating. It wasn't that she didn't feel the same towards him, it was just so… _wow_. However, her doubts came flooding into her fragile heart.

Firstly, Eren didn't exactly had the longest life to live, although that factor wasn't the main reason as to why Mikasa wouldn't express her love for him romantically, it was rather… she was just _terrified_. If she were to confess how _she_ really felt, the brunette may be delighted to hear her response… _but then, what happens after?_ They start dating, they start falling deeper into their ocean's depth of love and then… just before they could dive into the deeper depths of one another, one of them would've already suffocated. One of them would already run out of breath. _And that one was Eren._

The clock was ticking, in less than 3 years and he was gone, forever. It wasn't like before, when they were kids and Eren would have always be ahead of her, running, running and running till he was out of her sight. Because eventually, the raven would've caught up with him again, and she would be able to see him again, hear him again, feel his presence again…

Except in this round of chasing, Eren would be gone to a place where Mikasa would never be able to reach, unless she ran out of her own breath as well during her chase, ran out of her own hope and succumb to despair and grief. Then again, that was unlikely. After all, she had already made a promise to herself to live on for the sake of Eren, _for herself as well._

 _There were also still people, and the most trivial of things in this cruel world, which made life worth living…_

The thought of being lovers with such little time scared her, and she knew if it were to happen, Eren wouldn't stop blaming himself for having left her, _alone, in the dark_. She didn't want _that,_ if Eren really did felt that amount of love for her, she knew he would feel regret of having left her… and she didn't wish for him to feel such things in his death, where she would only want him to be at peace.

Mikasa was just scared, terrified of this thing called 'love'. She had heard it made people blind— well, not just to one's sight, but all five senses. Probably. She wouldn't know. She was terrified of falling so deeply in love with Eren to only lose him afterwards, and for him to lose her.

But it wasn't just because of her own selfish fear that caused her own honest confession to be locked up deep in her heart. In fact, she'd have fallen for him anyway despite the limited time he had left, except she didn't feel that it was right… _for Eren._

To her, Eren was a reckless guy who had good intentions, but would always go about it in the wrong manner. But also, Eren was someone whom she also saw as a brave, caring and determined person. And because of such strong qualities which he had, _was it really okay for him to love someone like her? Was it fair?_

If Eren were to fall in love, Mikasa had expected it to be someone else… someone who wouldn't give him burden. It wasn't fair for him to have more unnecessary burden.

By unnecessary burden, it was _Mikasa_ who saw herself as the burden, and she despised herself so much for it. She was blind, and if they were to fall in love, she assumed that due to her own lack of sight, Eren would be dragged down because of her, in a sense where they probably couldn't do things that lovers would normally do. Or at least, she felt that it would be Eren who would always be the one helping her, instead of the other way around— _no, wait_. That wasn't fair either. What _was_ fair was that she would help him as much as he would help her.

 _But, could she help him, without her sight?_

 _Will she be able to make him feel content, and not even more burdened?_

' _I can't be there for him...'_ she thought to herself, as she heard more hushed sobbing sounds from the brunette. She wondered what kind of face he was making, so far, whenever he cried during their training and war days before, his sorrowful expression would be mixed together with anger, vengeance…

Despite not being able to see, she highly doubted that was the expression he wore. Either way, she didn't want him to wear such a sorrowful expression.

"Don't cry…" She managed to speak. Her hand instinctively reached out, finding his face before it traced up his cheeks to around his eyes, then wiping a tear she had already felt running down her thumb. "I'm sorry… that I've been making you feel this way." Mikasa apologised softly.

"I'm sorry." Eren sighed quietly as he wiped the rest of his tears. "So… what's your… answer? Do you feel… the same fluttering feeling as I do?" He questioned quietly, as his hands fiddled with one another nervously.

Mikasa bit her lip. Goodness, she really _… really_ wanted to express her love for him, what her heart felt for him. But she was too afraid, afraid of what emotions would come _, afraid of being a burden._

"If you're concerned about…the time I have left, please don't." Eren spoke, as if he had read her mind. "I… really want to love you, with all the time that I have left, I want to express my love for you, Mikasa. I know it'll be painful but please… I know you're afraid of me leaving, and that falling deeper in love with me will just worsen that feeling—and my feelings too when our day of separation comes… but… but…" Eren bit his lip before his emerald orbs flashed to her, "I want to treasure you, love you, with all this time left, I really... I just..." Eren didn't know what else to say to reassure the obvious worry Mikasa had. He wasn't all too good in expressing himself either.

Love was a dangerous thing, they both knew. They both remembered the trauma Hannah went through when Franz died, back in the early days.

Eren was also restraining himself so much to lock his lips wither soft ones— now wasn't the time, he knew. After all, the raven before him seemed… uncertain. He need not think twice to know. He didn't want to kiss her if she was like this, so vulnerable, so unsure. Both of them weren't even good at such emotions regarding the topic 'love' in a romantic sense. And Eren didn't wish to take advantage of her uncertainty and vulnerability for the moment. He wasn't that sort of guy.

Just as Eren got lost in his deep thought, Mikasa brought him back with her voice. "Eren…" She called out softly.

" _Yes, Mikasa…?"_

" _I'm sorry. I don't think the feeling is mutual."_

* * *

A few weeks after that emotional night, was the military reunion, to celebrate the freedom they finally had achieved after many relentless, exhaustive years.

Everyone was there, which included Mikasa and Eren, although they were at different places during the reunion. Eren was at a corner, drinking by himself. The alcohol really burnt his throat, and that was fine. He thought that maybe it'd numb his feelings anyway. As for Mikasa… she went off with Historia for whatever reason. As long as she was in trusted hands, Eren was relaxed.

"What are you doing here alone in the corner?" A familiar voice spoke, Eren glanced to the corner where the person with the familiar voice leaned against the wall alongside with him and only let out a tiring sigh.

"State your business already, Armin." Eren groaned.

"Where's Mikasa?"

"Historia. Now leave." Eren grumbled as he went over to get another glass of whiskey.

"This is the first time I've seen you drink so much, was it that bad?" The blonde had asked, while the brunette chugged the glass down unhesitatingly, regretting that he even told the blonde about what hapened during _that night_.

"Aren't we over that topic?" He sighed, as his mind drifted off to that night… that _heart-breaking night_.

* * *

" _Yes, Mikasa…?"_

" _I'm sorry. I don't think the feeling is mutual."_

"W-What..? Mikasa… is it becau—"

Mikasa had cut him off swiftly, with a simple shake of her head and words that were sharp enough to have stabbed his heart. "I don't… love you, in the way you think I do."

Eren, however, was in disbelief. "W-What? But… before... the way you looked at me—"

" _I'm blind, Eren_." She reminded, and despite her orbs being dull, just one glance at them while listening to her words, gave the brunette a huge surge of regret, guilt. "Your eyes might've been deceiving you whenever you stare into mine or vice versa. I don't blame you for that, or any of _this_." She reminded softly, she didn't want him to blame himself for causing her blindness, although to her she felt it was more of her fault, her carelessness which caused this.

" _I can't_ love you that way Eren, besides…" The raven smiled a little, "You deserve someone better, so much better. Someone who can at least see— _admire_ the lovely faces you make, someone who us able to gaze at your hypnotising eyes." The raven proceeded to embrace him. "Really, I feel nothing similar to what you feel for me…maybe before, but not in this moment, not ever now. _I'm sorry_ " She apologised, as the brunette cried even more, which only made the raven's embrace tighten. " _I'm so sorry_." She apologised again, ever so… sorrowfully, although the brunette couldn't tell if it was because of pity.

' _Then why is your heart racing…?'_ Eren thought to himself, feeling each and every beat her heart made when she had embraced him. It made him a little happy, feeling her heart beating, it was proof of her existence, of her life. The only thing sorrowful was the way it was beating, or rather racing.

' _Is it for someone else…? Is there… someone else?'_

* * *

Eren got another glass, before chugging it down. "There must be someone else." He sighed before Armin snatched his glass away. "No more drinking, you'll get a hangover at this rate." He groaned. "Isn't obvious why she said all those things? She's afraid of being hurt and especially hurting you. She loves you Ere—"

"Armin. Really, enough of that. I know she's scared, but I don't wish to be in a relationship with her if she… doesn't want to." He explained briefly. "And she probably loves someone else."

" _Do you still love her_?" Armin asked as he gave Eren the look of seriousness.

" _Yes."_ Eren responded back, wearing a firm look as he replied with all seriousness and genuineness. Though, there was some sort of pained expression that appeared on his face for a brief moment before he shook it away.

"Do you think there's something else stopping her from loving you, rather than her own 'selfish' fear?" The blonde asked, already so certain of her emotions towards him. "Like I said before, she's blind, but it doesn't mean she's see through. You don't know the hundred percent of her."

 _Silence._

"You don't know her other intentions, you don't know her lies. The scariest thing is, you don't know all of her heart… how do you expect to love her? To understand her?How—"

" _Hey_." Spoke another familiar voice, the two males turned to have eye contact with a familiar pair of crystal eyes. "Eren, What the hell are you doing here?" Annie asked, which the brunette rolled his eyes at. "Am I not allowed to be here? _Ex-traitor_." Eren snapped back. "Now… now..." Armin chuckled nervously in an attempt to calm the two down, he didn't want a fight to break out between them… again.

Though, surprisingly, Annie didn't seem too offended by that. "As much as I'd love to strangle you again, Mikasa's with Jean now, just thought you should know that." The blonde shrugged as she took a sip of the wine she held.

Eren flinched a little, "That… doesn't concern me." He mumbled, a part of him hoping that 'someone else' wasn't that horse-face, she could've done much better.

"It does, go see for yourself." Annie spoke simply before walking off. Armin glanced at Eren, "Well, let's see what's so concerning. You know you want to." He sighed before he walked to where he last saw Jean, Eren following behind. Curiosity and possibly maybe even _, Jealousy_ , finally got him right in the bag.

* * *

"Jean." Mikasa sighed. "For the last time, I'm _not_ interested..." Mikasa mumbled, wondering how the hell she got caught up in the situation she was currently. Historia had to use the washroom, and left Jean in charge of her. She really hated this, the fact people had to be in charge of her. She felt like a caged bird… _and yet with Eren, instead of 'being in charge of', she felt being taken care of whenever it was Eren._ Yet, she left him alone for the night… she knew he needed to, after _that night_ of confessions.

Putting that aside, she had something else to worry about. "Jean, stop it." Mikasa grumbled, as Jean shifted closer to her, about to wrap his arm around her, she didn't have to see to know it, she could tell just by instinct, and goodness was she annoyed. She wanted to flip him over so bad, the only thing stopping her was the fact she might get more attention than she already was. She already had heard whispers from other ex-cadets and military officials of her having lost her sight, and it was agitating having to put up with the whispers that soon evolved to gossip. ' _I am blind, not deaf. Did those idiots not know that?'_ Mikasa thought to herself _._

Back on track, _this wasn't like Jean_ , who was currently trying to get all up in her. She assumed it was the alcohol, although he didn't reek of any.

Jean sighed as he stood up wanting to get a drink, "Fine, I'm sorry, wait here I want to get a drink." He spoke, however just as he was about to leave, he tripped over something, losing his balance as he tried to grab hold of whatever was around, to no avail. And then, he accidentally grabbed Mikasa's sleeve, pulling her down to the ground, having _pinned_ her down. "Ah! I'm sorry—are you—"Before Jean could finish his sentence or before Mikasa could react, _they both felt the atmosphere suddenly tensed_.

A familiar _tension—or rather, presence_ that Mikasa knew. She tilted her head to the side where she felt his aura. " _Eren_ … _?_ " She called out to the brunette, who wasn't all smiles when he saw the position Mikasa was in.

His protective side grew and grew, so did his anger as he stomped towards Jean in rage, " _What the fuck do you think you're doing horse-face_?" He growled.

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes: Hello, I'm back. I hope this update is alright, apologies if it's poorly written.**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _Jean sighed as he stood up wanting to get a drink, "Fine, I'm sorry, wait here I want to get a drink." He spoke, however just as he was about to leave, he tripped over something, losing his balance as he tried to grab hold of whatever was around, to no avail. And then, he accidentally grabbed Mikasa's sleeve, pulling her down to the ground, having_ _pinned_ _her down. "Ah! I'm sorry—are you—"Before Jean could finish his sentence or before Mikasa could react,_ _they both felt the atmosphere suddenly tensed_.

 _A familiar_ _tension—or rather, presence_ _that Mikasa knew. She tilted her head to the side where she felt his aura._ " _Eren_ … _?_ " _She called out to the brunette, who wasn't all smiles when he saw the position Mikasa was in._

 _His protective side grew and grew, so did his anger as he stomped towards Jean in rage,_ " _What the fuck do you_ _think you're doing horse-face_?" _He growled._

* * *

The brunette approached Jean before his hands reached out, before ruthlessly grabbing his collar tightly, then pinning him violently against the wall with aggression, as his infuriated eyes fixated on him—eying him as if he were his prey. "What the hell were you doing to her? _Why the fuck would you take advantage of her_?" Eren snapped. His tone seemed… _oddly calm_ , but the fact that his grip tightened on his collar begged to differ. He was so close to suffocating Jean who was attempting to struggle free from his grasp.

"It was an accident you fucking idiot!" Jean cursed as he managed to free himself from his grip, and was about to throw a punch at him—but the brunette's reflexes was too fast, Jean had forgotten how much the brunette had improved in such combat within these years.

Eren managed to block his punch, and was about to swing one of his own with his clenched fist of fury, until Armin stopped him, for now. "Eren. You're getting too much attention, settle this outside as humanely and as calmly as pos—"

"What do you mean?! He was about to…" His eyes glanced towards the raven, who was helped up by Annie. Mikasa seemed fine, physically at least. She didn't seem hurt, and she didn't look… _uncomfortable_. Meaning, Jean most likely hadn't touched her in places where the raven wouldn't be too happy about. That managed to soothe Eren's rage a little, he then unclenched his fist while taking deep breaths.

"I'm fine, Eren." Mikasa finally spoke, wearing a small frown on her face. "But…" Eren spoke, but was cut off by the raven. " _We need to talk. Privately_." Mikasa murmured as she stood up.

The brunette took a quick glance of his surroundings, Armin was right, he had drawn too much attention to them, to Mikasa. He could hear whispers, whispers of which that at least involved Mikasa's blindness. He was so agitated, why did they have to talk about Mikasa's blindness? Sure, she was a powerful soldier who had the Ackerman blood running in her veins, worth as much as a thousand men in the battlefield—that title was, however, taken away from her cruelly, along with her vision. But when all that was taken away from her, was gossip _honestly_ necessary?

Eren shot a glare at the crowd, as if he were to say, 'another word about her, and another war would be coming'. That was enough to cause the crowd to silence, before they dispersed one by one. After all, who would want to pick a fight, against a _monster_?

" _Eren_." Mikasa called out again, except her voice was firmer this time. And before she could've said anything else, the brunette gripped her hand tightly, before leading her to a secluded area to have a talk.

* * *

 _"I can't believe that you made me do that!"_ Jean groaned, shooting the blonde a little annoyed look.

"It had to be done, otherwise those two would live the remaining of their lives with regret. They need to have an actual conversation, and because of that, there was a need for a trigger." Armin sighed. "Thank you for cooperating, but _pinning_ her was seriously unnecessary, all I asked was to say some flirtatious words to her, so that Eren would drag her out to talk or something."

"That was an _accident!_ " Jean grumbled as he stretched his arms a little.

"You seriously have no leftover feelings for her?" Annie cut in, as her crystal eyes fixated firmly on Jean, who only let out a sigh. "I don't know, honestly… _but_." Jean spoke as he glanced out the window, being in deep thought. " _I just want her to be happy_ , and if that shitty asshole can do that, then…it is fine." Jean shrugged.

The two other blondes only heaved a sigh, "Let's just hope that the conversation that they're about to have isn't going to be another one filled with lies and secrets." Armin groaned which jean nodded in agreement quickly, "Yeah because if that happens, I'm not going to be a punching bag again."

"Trust me, they are going to have more than just a conversation about each other's truth." Annie spoke, as the two males looked at her, confused. Yet, she remained silent as she drank the whiskey she had brought along, taking a casual sip out of the glass as her crystal orbs focused towards the direction where the two had flee.

' _Those two, they're really lucky to have one another.'_

* * *

"What do you want to talk about?" The brunette asked as he looked down to the ground.

They were outside, away from the noise which the party caused. It was chilly, but the two were too immersed into their own emotions to take any notice of such things. "You're still caught up in your emotions for me, aren't you?" Mikasa asked, her tone softening.

Eren remained silent. He was scared to answer, he didn't want to be shut off again, that feeling was too painful for him to handle anymore. "Eren?" Mikasa called out again, her tone softer than ever, her singular word evoking several memories from the brunette.

Thinking about it now, Eren's name was often called out by Mikasa—most of which was when the raven would be chasing after him, or they were in a dangerous situation. But there were times, when she'd call out his name in happiness, in a joyful relief. Those were the moments that really… made him a little happier, even if he didn't know.

Eren had to admit though, he was probably a little too harsh to Mikasa back then. Always telling her to back off and such, since she always _'irritated'_ him. When really, he was just sick and tired of her always, always protecting him when he wanted to protect her as well— and yet failed to do so. He wasn't irritated at her, but rather at his own failure— that he was unable to protect her. He regretted his actions so much, the anger he probably took out on her subconsciously— _he regretted it so much_. Though thankfully, he knew there were some trivial moments too, where he was able to display his concern for her, his care for her… _in one way or another_.

 _And now, when the world finally gave him a chance to protect her— it was done in the cruellest way possible._

" _How can I not?"_ Eren chuckled a little, as he looked up, and deeply into the raven's obsidian orbs. They were a little foggy and dull due to her blindness, but… he saw a little life in there. And he was thankful, that at least… she had a little fight in her, to live. "Mikasa, no matter what you say, I'll never get rid of these feelings that I have for you. You can't make me."

"But why…?" The raven asked quietly. The brunette paid a little more attention to her tone rather than words, _she sounded pained, sorrowful… and so much more_. But he decided to remain quiet, he wanted to hear all her words, before acting.

"I don't understand… why love someone like me, a blind person? You can love someone else…" Mikasa mumbled, on the verge of crying. "I can't be there for you when you need help anymore… I wasn't even able to stop the fight that you were about to have with jean. Because I couldn't even see what was happening… all I see is darkness. _I can't… anymore_." Mikasa sniffed, as tears started flowing out. But the brunette did nothing, he knew she had more to say—and he was right.

"And… you have less than 3 years left, you know how painful separation is. And being in love… won't it worsen the feeling?" She sniffed, as even more tears fell. "Won't you be more pained…? And it's already bad enough that… I won't be able to, you know, _see you at your last moments_." She spoke, as her body started to tremble.

" _How do you feel, Mikas_ a?" Eren asked gently, as he took a step forward towards the raven.

"I feel scared. So scared. I'm scared to fall deeper in love with you than I already am. Each day, the fact that you'll be gone so soon haunts me, it terrifies me." Mikasa cried softly, as the brunette embraced her tightly. "And?" the brunette pressed. "And… I'm scared that I'll end up being your burden. I don't want to be anyone's burden." She cried even more as she gripped his shirt from behind tightly, _so tightly_.

" _But_?" he continued.

"But despite this fears, I'm still so in love with you. I hate it… I _hate_ it… Make it stop!" She screeched as she sobbed even more. "I hate the fact that I enjoy your warmth, I hate the fact that everything had to be this way. Why can't everything just be normal for once? Why can't the world let _us_ be happy? _I hate it_ … I want to love you… I want to be able to be there for you like how a normal human would…" She spoke, taking deep heavy breaths to calm herself down— yet to no avail.

"Mikasa. You're already here for me. You've done so much for me, even if you don't notice… and 'normal human'? Like I'm any 'normal human'." Eren spoke, chuckling a little in hope to lighten the mood. He pulled Mikasa away for a little, as his hand rested on her cheek, ever so lovingly. "Close your eyes." He instructed softly.

Mikasa was a little confused by his sudden instructions, and asked, " _I can't see_ , what's the differ—"

"Just do it." Eren spoke calmly, as the raven did as he said, seeming puzzled.

"Now, take a deep breath and… dump your worries aside for now. Feel the gentle breeze, the air, listen to the calming sounds of the wind." Eren spoke softly. Once he noticed Mikasa's expression turning into a calm one, he continued, _"What do you really… want, Mikasa?"_

Mikasa continued inhaling and exhaling the fresh air, as she proceeded to go into deep thought of the brunette's words. Surprisingly, closing her already blinded eyes had an effect, it felt as if she were shutting off from this cruel world. Feeling the chilly breeze blow past her felt… _'Free'_ , if that were to make sense.

 _This peace… she missed this peace._

 _She longed for it._

" _I want_ _happiness_ …" She spoke finally, although hesitantly. After all, was it rally alright? For her to want such… impossible things at this point.

"Okay… now take another deep breath.' The brunette instructed, the raven doing so. "What do you… envision? _What do you see_?" He asked softly.

"I… see… _both of u_ s… living together…having our own family together… growing old together… laughing together… smiling together… _I see happiness_." She mumbled, as tears started to fall from her eyes, without her knowing. They were full of sorrow, because she knew… that sight would never happen in reality. And at the thought of that, her body started shivering, as she collapsed to her knees— thankfully, Eren managed to have caught her slightly, lessening the impact on her knees.

"What do you want?" He asked again, as he kneeled along with her.

"I want…" She took a deep breath, to collect her thoughts once more. "I want to be with you… I want to… treasure you before you… _b-before you_ —"

Before she could've completed her sentence, Eren embraced her once more. "You don't have to say it." He reassured, his own emerald orbs starting to soak a little, as the raven rested her chin on his shoulder.

" _I'm sorry_." She apologised. " _For lying before… that I don't love you. I was just so scared... I-I_ …"

"It's fine…" He reassured once more, as he held her closely.

" _What now? What… are we now?_ " She asked after a moment of silence, her tone sounding so fragile— _like her heart._

"What do _you_ want us to be…?" He asked as the raven pulled away from him slightly. "I want to be your lover." Mikasa said firmly. "I want to spend time with you… _before you have to go_."

"That goes the same for me." He smiled warmly, and then noticed Mikasa leaning into him— and he showed no hesitance to do the same. And just like that, their lips locked with one another, Eren's arms wrapping around her waist closely, the raven doing the same, as their lips continued to press against one another, ever so passionately, lovingly and fiercely. Both of them never knew sharing a kiss like _this_ would… cause their hearts to palpitate so fast, would just… …

' _Her lips are softer than I thought…'_

' _His lips are so… gentle.'_

' _I love her.'_

' _I love him.'_

… _I wish this could last a little longer…maybe forever._

* * *

" _Arlert_."

The blonde turned to see Levi, and before he could say a thing, Levi continued, "Have you seen that brat?"

"Eren? He's outside but—" Before he could continue, Levi was already rushing off to the exit— until the blonde got a firm grip of Levi's arm, which definitely caught the retired captain off guard.

"Wait, what's going on?" He asked—or rather, demanded for an answer, never seeing his captain in such a rush before.

Levi took a deep breath, "I suppose you deserve to know. The higher-ups, they plan to send Eren and a select few on a… _risky mission_ at the underground district."

" _M-Mission? Risky?_ The war's over! And he only has less than 3 years left, cut him some slack!" Armin frowned, quite shocked Levi would've agreed to such a thing. Though, once Levi's eyes narrowed in such an… odd manner, full of _reluctance_ , it was then did the blonde knew that _this_ was out of his control.

"Someone wants to start the whole titan fiasco again, and they want Eren and a select few to check it out. I do not have the power or authority to argue with them. And if I dare defy them, Eren would have to face much worse." Levi spoke before he snatched his arm back, clicking his tongue in agitation as he turned and started walking off.

"One last thing. Does _Mikasa_ have to go..?"

Levi halted in his steps, biting his lip in frustration. Not because of the blonde, but rather because of the fact that he wasn't able to prevent this vexatious situation from happening.

"… _she doesn't have a choice." He spoke, with clenched fists as he continued walking, refusing to even glance back as he spoke such grim words._

* * *

 ** _Author's Notes: Hope this was okay. Please Leave a Review!_**


	13. Chapter 13 - Their Desire, Their Love

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _"One last thing._ _Does_ _Mikasa_ _have to go..?"_

 _Levi halted in his steps, biting his lip in frustration. Not because of the blonde, but rather because of the fact that he wasn't able to prevent this vexatious situation from happening_.

"… _she doesn't have a choice." He spoke, with clenched fists as he continued walking, refusing to even glance back as he spoke such grim words._

* * *

 _Soon enough, the two lovers pulled away from the kiss—to catch their breaths. Both of them were red, they were flustered. So that sealed the deal, they were lovebirds now. Eren gazed lovingly into Mikasa's obsidian orbs that seemed to spark up a little life. Mikasa only cracked an awkward smile, before letting out a tiring sigh…_ _she knew he was gazing at her, she could feel it._ _She just wished she could do the same—to dive in deeply into his emerald orbs that reminded her of the forest, the nature around._

 _"That felt…"_

 _"_ _Amazing_ _." Eren spoke, finishing her own sentence for her, his hand reaching out to caress her cheek ever so lovingly before he traced up to stroke her hair. It felt soft, smooth… like some sort of silken material. Mikasa only blushed a deeper shade of red. Though, the next thing he did definitely had caught her off guard._

 _The brunette leaned a little forward once more, Mikasa had expected another kiss and was rather joyous at that thought… except, it wasn't_ _just_ _a kiss._

 _Carefully, Eren removed the raven's scarf, dropping it onto the ground. His lips then proceeded to press against the side of raven's neck, before the raven could question it, his teeth began to bite into it lightly. Mikasa's cheeks flushed into a dark shade of red— and she didn't push away. A soft whimper escaped her lips, a sudden sort of thrill ran through her veins… and that thrill only made her crave more of it._

 _She loved his touch, she loved the way he'd hold her—especially now. Eren could tell, considering the raven's rather adorable whimper sounded pleasured, excited. They both desired one another— there was probably a little lust in the air, the good kind. Eren bit into it a little rougher— but he was to be sure Mikasa wouldn't feel too much pain before he began to suck on it just a little._

 _She was just divine, and she tasted just so fine. The brunette would know. "E-Eren…" The raven whimpered in a pleasured tone, which only caused the thrill in Eren's veins to rush even more. Although, a few seconds after, he had pulled away. Knowing that if they ventured any further, they wouldn't be able to stop. Plus, they were out in the open, and he didn't plan to explain his actions to anyone, or even disclose it._

 _"Sorry, I just had to mark what's mine." He spoke quietly, having left one of those love-bite marks on Mikasa's neck, to be frank he was quite proud of it. "Y-You don't have to apologise…" Mikasa stuttered shyly, being flustered over what had happened. "I… liked it." She spoke, a small smile forming onto her lips. Though she couldn't see the mark he had left, others could. And those_ _others_ _would know the emotions they shared with one another, and the desires they had. For one reason or another, she wanted more. She wanted him to touch her more. She wanted_ _him_ _to be satisfied…_ _she wanted to be satisfied._

 _What was this feeling? It was overwhelming._

 _A small blush came onto the brunette's cheeks when the raven had said she liked it, and just looking at her expression, he could tell she wanted more. Well, it wasn't as if he wasn't the same._

 _Just as Mikasa was about to ask for another round, she heard footsteps. She quickly searched for her scarf before she wore it, standing up slowly. "Someone's coming."_

 _At hearing those words, the brunette didn't wait another second more to stand up. He turned towards Mikasa, adjusting her scarf lightly—to cover up the mark, as he had a feeling a certain grumpy man was coming, and he didn't wish to get a lecture or scolding about what he did to Mikasa, —considering such acts should've been done behind closed doors… but he just couldn't help himself._

 _The brunette's instinct was right though, he saw Levi in a distance who was walking towards their direction. A part of the brunette just wanted to carry Mikasa away, he wanted to spend his time with her and not spend it listening to whatever lecture that shorty had._

 _"Eren, Mikasa." Levi called before approaching them. He had a grim expression, and the aura that surrounded him wasn't too happy._

 _"Capta— I mean, Levi. What do you want?" Mikasa questioned, sounding rather concerned, having felt the gloomy atmosphere around him, and the sudden tension around them._

 _"There has been someone in the underground district who wants to start the whole titan fiasco again, rumour has it that they are close in completing the serum." Levi explained, and Eren tensed slightly, he knew where this conversation was going._

 _"The higher-ups assigned you and a few other people, including me and Hanji, to stop them from doing so. And—"_

 _"_ _Why me_ _?" Eren asked, his tone clearly agitated at the entire situation. It was also clear he didn't want to go. He had finally found peace, and love within Mikasa. He didn't have much time left, and to be frank Eren had been a little war-weary. He was tired of fighting, or rather—he just wanted to spend more time with Mikasa. And with such a dangerous and risky mission that was assigned to him, he had some doubts on making it back safe and alive. Despite having titan abilities, he still could be killed easily if he wasn't careful enough, plus, what if the mission took longer than expected? After all, ending the titan war took them several years._

 _"_ _Why not someone else_ _?" Eren frowned which Levi let out a sigh at. "Considering you and the other squad members had a big part to play in the titan war, the higher-ups viewed you guys as strong cadets who'll easily finish this mission quickly. Look, brat. I tried my best to ask them to assign this to someone else, but they kept insisting and it was either that you go or—"_

 _Eren shot Levi a rather threatening glare, causing Levi to pause in his words as he shot a glare back. "Don't make me kick you in the fucking face again._ _I said I already tried._ _And you have to get this in your fucking brain that if you don't take part in this, there is a chance that peace will be lost again. We need your titan powers in case if they were to turn to titans themselves if they did inject themselves with a successful serum. And we need your coconut headed friend and that female titan to stay here to guard—"_

 _"Why can't I be the one to stay guard? It's unfair and unr—"_

 _"Shut up and listen for a damn second." Levi hissed. "_ _That's because Mikasa, is following us."_

 _Listening to his last phrase, there was a moment of silence. And Eren was about to express his anger through vulgar words until Mikasa finally spoke. "I'm_ _blind._ _I would only be a burden—"_

 _Levi sighed, his eyes looking towards the other raven pitifully. "Since you have oriental blood running in your veins, the higher-ups thought you'd be good bait, since the criminals apparently have a record of trading off people in the underground before." Levi grumbled, sounding rather… agitated, annoyed and pissed off at the fact that the higher-ups would suggest such a disgusting thing, they even told him she'd be a great bait to lure out those scoundrels since she was weak and vulnerable._

 _And hearing his tone, Eren figured it was true that he didn't wish for such things to happen, and figured he made sure that he, himself could come along to watch over Mikasa. After all, at this point, he wouldn't leave her alone anymore. Having calmed down, the brunette made eye contact with the male raven, "We don't have a choice…. Do we?" He had asked, feeling a rather overwhelming sorrow consuming him. "At the very least can't you convince them to use someone else as bait? It doesn't seem—"_

 _"Trust me, brat… I really tried."_

 _Eren bit his lips in such anger, in such rage. Why would someone want to start the whole titan shit again? Why couldn't he finally live the remaining few years of his life in peace? Why couldn't he be happy for just a day, without such dreadful interruptions coming up?_

 _It was at that moment, when Mikasa's hands found his, holding them ever so tightly. "Eren…" She spoke softly, "It'll be fine…_ _I'll go_ _." She said firmly. Giving Levi a shock that she'd have agreed so much easier as compared to the brunette. "I want to make myself useful. And if me being bait lessens the chances of Eren getting hurt, I'll go." Mikasa spoke firmly, causing Levi to furrow his brows._

 _"Listen, you two brats. I don't know what's going through your minds but don't make it seem like this is a mission that you won't come back from. I don't plan for that to happen. We're all going to come back alive. So don't do anything reckless" Levi spoke, though it sounded more of an order, for them not to die. He turned around, walking off as he spoke, "We leave in a week. I'll update you two on the plans soon."_

 _And with that he left. The two lovebirds did as well._

* * *

 _"How did they take the news?" A certain brunette asked._

 _"What are you doing out here four eyes?" Levi groaned as he looked to Hanji. "Well, to answer your question, they were anything but happy."_

 _Hanji gave a little punch to Levi's shoulders. "Don't feel guilty. You really did try your best to let them all live in peace." Hanji sighed as she rubbed his shoulders._

 _Levi only let out a sigh as he looked up towards the night sky. "I'm just… sick of seeing deaths, especially my comrades. And the fact that…"_

 _"I know." Hanji sighed as she embraced him from behind. "It's cruel to have those two go, or anyone for that matter."_

 _Levi only remained silent,_ _"Though… no matter what, I'll make sure they'll come back alive and well."_

* * *

The two lovebirds reached their dorm. After sitting Mikasa down, Eren sat next to her, his hand running through his hair, stressed. "This is so fucked up." He cursed under his breath as he glanced over to the raven. "Are you alright..?" He questioned softly. Mikasa shrugged, "I just… I mean… I just wish the world wasn't so cruel." She explained it simply as she continued, "Promise me that you'll come back alive." Mikasa asked, in a rather pleading tone to the brunette.

Eren remembered these words before that had left her lips. His 15-year old self would have rolled his eyes and dismissed Mikasa's worries as nothing, since he had assumed before she was overthinking. But now... it was different.

He didn't want to push her away anymore.

His eyes softened, as he held Mikasa's hands tightly. "I'll promise if you promise to come back alive too." Mikasa nodded, " _I promise_."

" _I promise too."_ Eren smiled weakly as his forehead pressed against hers slightly. "Don't do anything reckless… even if it is to save me. I'll come back alive."

"I should be saying that to you..." Mikasa sighed quietly before she leaned her head a little forward to rest on his shoulder, before she began to nuzzle his neck. "Hey… we have a week left before we got to go… let's spend that time together then…"

Eren gave a little nod. "It's only natural." He gave off a light chuckle as his arms wrapped around her lovingly. _"I love you so much.'_ He whispered softly.

" _I love you so much too…" She whispered back._

* * *

And with that, they spent their entire week together. Eren brought her outside, to breathe in the fresh air, to explore other places, to stroll around… to appreciate the peace they have as of that moment. It was fun, joyful. Eren enjoyed making her smile, because whenever he did, her eyes would have a little life in them… something worth admiring. As for Mikasa, although she wasn't able to admire Eren's smiles, she was able to listen to his joyous laughter, and his aura that was just full of happiness.

The night before they had to leave, Levi had already told them the plan… and it was definitely worrying Eren the most. After all, it seemed that Mikasa was put in the most dangerous position… but he didn't want to worry about that now. He didn't want to bring down the cheerful atmosphere.

That night, Eren laid awake. He couldn't sleep… he was just too _stressed._

"Eren…" Mikasa called out quietly as she turned to his direction. "Is everything alright…?" She asked softly, feeling his worrying aura that made her concerns grew. "Yeah, I'm fine… don't worry about it." He reassured, though it was obvious enough it was a lie.

"I already promise that I'll come back alive… I won't break the promise." Mikasa reassured as Eren let out an exhaustive sigh. "I know, I know…" He mumbled as he shifted closely to Mikasa, snuggling her tightly. "I never knew Eren Jaeger had this soft side to him." Mikasa teased lightly, wanting to lighten up the atmosphere which it did as Eren gave off a little snort. "Haha. Very funny. I can be affectionate too, you know." He rolled his eyes, pouting slightly, Mikasa then letting out a soft chuckle, "I know, you left _evidence_ on me…" He mumbled out loud, referring to the hickey that remained on her neck.

The brunette blushed, "Y-Yeah…" He stuttered. Despite being the one who left it there, he still got flustered over it. "Well, I'm... proud of it." He spoke in a sudden confident tone purposely, resulting in Mikasa giving him a little nudge that Eren awed at, finding it rather adorable. "You're adorable." Eren teased as Mikasa blushed heavily before she turned to the other direction, too embarrassed to face him. " _Shut up_ …" She grumbled.

Eren gave a little laugh, though, he caught a little glimpse of the mark he had left on her neck. Smirking, he gave her neck a soft kiss. Mikasa's face flushed at that. " _E-Eren_!" She exclaimed, her hands immediately covering her face.

"Aw, don't be like that, I want to see your beautiful face." He teased lightly, though it was a genuine compliment.

" _Nooo."_ Mikasa whined a little, before Eren teasingly got on top of her, using one of his hands to pull away one of her hands that covered her face gently. "I want to see your beauty, love." Eren chuckled slightly, as Mikasa removed her other hand, her face represented a tomato, after all… Eren was so... close to her. Hell, he was on _top_ of her.

Though, Eren didn't seem too focused on that, as a frown formed on his face as his hand reached out, caressing the scar she had right underneath her eyes… that he caused. "I'm... really sorry..." He mumbled in guilt.

Mikasa frowned and shook her head. "Eren... it's fine, you didn't mean it." She reassured softly. She always disliked that scar, it was just a terrible reminder of that day. What made it worse was that it barely faded away— a permanent scar it was, and it was hated by the raven.

"Still…" He sighed quietly as his eyes then fixated on her. "You're still beautiful."

Hearing those words once more, Mikasa's heart skipped a beat as it started racing, for one man and one man only. Eren Jaeger. As cheesy as it may sound, she felt love filling up in the air, and she loved it so much, this moment. She treasured every single moment she had with him during this week especially, before they had to leave for the risky and dangerous mission, and that caused the raven to worry a little. Eren, having taking notice it rather quickly, he caressed his cheek again, before he planted a kiss on her cheek, which then lead to a kiss on her lips.

It was passionate, and loving just like the first kiss they shared together. It was something so comforting, and they didn't know why. Maybe it wasn't the kiss, it could be the fact that the one they loved so much, was right here and there alive, breathing. The kiss just reminded them of that fact.

That they were alive, breathing the same air.

After a bit, Eren pulled away from the kiss, to catch his breath, so did the raven. Though, there was something different when they parted their lips… they both craved more.

They were alone, in the room. Everyone was sleeping, probably. But most of all… it was just the two of them, alone, and at that thought, their own desires raised.

"Mika—"

"Eren." Mikasa cut him off, having a blush on her cheeks. "Do… you want to do _it…_?" She asked quietly.

The brunette wasn't too dense to not know what she referred to. Eren looked away, for he knew if he ever so glanced at Mikasa's vulnerable face that she wore just for him…he probably contain his urges anymore longer. "Mikasa…I don't want to force you to do anything… we don't have to do... _it_ , if you really don't want to… I love you for the way you are, not your—"

" _I genuinely want to do it_ … if you're okay with it, of course." He spoke softly, her tone was as gentle as ever, and it was definitely sincere.

Eren slowly shifted his gaze and focus back to her, before he pinned her hands against the mattress as he leaned closer. _"I might not be able to stop."_ He spoke, biting his lip a little. Eren had his desires, his crave and his lusts for her… but of course, he loved her the most genuinely. He would restrain himself if needed to, he didn't want to force anything on her. He wanted to love her, to make her feel loved and comfortable.

"That's alright with me… but you may need to guide me a little." Mikasa spoke, giving an awkward chuckle. She was blind, then again she was still able to see so much in the brunette than he could ever himself.

"I will try my best to… though, tell me if it's too much, I want you to be and feel comfortable."

 _"I want the same for you. Don't hold back too much, I want my desires fulfilled too."_

* * *

And with that, the two lovebirds embraced one another through the night. Exploring one another's territories, finding something new about each other along the way. The raven, thanks to the brunette's guidance, wasn't all too awkward during that night full of events. She got to feel things she didn't know she could ever feel, and she enjoyed it with plenty of satisfaction. The brunette, was satisfied with everything and anything she did as well, he was already contented with just having Mikasa either ways.

 _That night, all their worries for the day after were placed aside, reassured by each other's warmth… each other's gentle, loving touch._

 _A night that they wished that could've lasted a little longer._

* * *

 ** _Author's Notes: Please leave a review. I want to know your thoughts. Apologies if this is poorly written._**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

After the lovebirds' night of closeness, was the day of their dreaded mission.

Within the week, Levi had already finished going through the plan that they were ordered to strictly follow at all cost. And now, after that week, they had already left to their destination— the underground district.

The brunette and raven were currently riding on the same horse, Mikasa behind, wrapping around the brunette's waist tightly as the stallion galloped away. Despite this closeness, the two were silent. It wasn't due to any sort of awkwardness from the night before, it was more of the fact that they were too caught up in their own worrisome thoughts as they recalled the plan that was set for them.

* * *

" _Are my orders clear?" Levi had asked._

The plan apparently, was to lure the crooks out using Mikasa. With the fact that the information given on them was that they used to sell people along the streets, Mikasa would be a perfect target for them. After all, despite the fact that the crooks had a new goal, a leopard never changes its spots— a glance at the Oriental's beauty, it was almost fully certain they might attempt to kidnap her for their sales—or for their own pleasure. Either way, Levi was sure as to make sure neither of those would happen.

Once those crooks attempt to kidnap the raven, the people he brought along were to spring out and restrain them. And when asked why such a simple plan seemed so tensed, Levi only responded with, "They're ordinary criminals, I'd know. Think about it… why the hell would they want that titan serum for? Growing up there, criminals there wouldn't be so ambitious, plus there is no possible way they could've made the titan serum on their own. And… I apologise for not having brought this up sooner. I didn't wish to trouble any of you after all with such frustrating news…"

 _The next few words Levi spoke, had shocked everyone for the most part_. And Eren was so close to beating Levi up if not for Mikasa and Armin who reasoned with him not to. After all, Levi _really_ didn't want them to be involved in such things anymore… but now, he had no choice but to relay the news.

"And what if the plan fails? What if you're right and those crooks aren't the mastermind? Then what?" Armin had questioned.

"If this plan fails we go with plan B which I don't wish to tell any of you yet. If they really aren't the mastermind and it's someone else who's the mastermind… if it's especially _him_ … just remember one thing. _The goal and top priority is to destroy any traces of titan related stuff and the serum itself, and restrain the mastermind— and if there is no choice, kill the mastermind if it comes to the worst._ " Levi had instructed firmly.

" _And why so reckless, captain? Do you not care?" A certain someone asked, concerned._

Levi turned towards Mikasa, taking a deep breath he spoke, "It's not that… given the little information we have, there isn't much ways to go with this. And if _he_ shows up… I wish to handle him on my own, and when that happens, all of you, run. He is a person full of surprises, there's no telling what he'll do. Understand?" Levi spoke, eying Eren especially who grudgingly nodded and complied.

With that, Eren, Mikasa, Jean, Sasha and Connie were instructed to accompany Levi on his journey. While Armin, Annie, Hanji and the others were to stay guard— _in case if it were too late._

And within that week, each and every one of them had been training hard, and had come out with certain strategies if the worst comes. And once that week was over, hell was soon to come.

* * *

"Eren…" Mikasa called out softly, snapping the brunette back to reality.

"Y-Yes?" He responded, his green orbs taking a glimpse of the raven who was holding him so tightly, and he couldn't help but wished she would never let go.

"Remember your promise…" She reminded quietly which the brunette nodded, as his attention went back to focusing of what was in front.

"Of course, you too." He replied back, firmly.

Soon enough, the squad had reached the underground district. Some wore their cloaks and disguised in themselves in the shadows, as they stalked around alleyways to see if there were any clues that'd lead them to anything. Others were wearing _'casual-wear'_ , which were worn out clothes to disguise themselves as people who lived there, to ensure that the word that the survey corps were in the underground district wouldn't spread.

As for Mikasa, she was wearing worn out clothes, being led by Jean who was dressed the same around the instructed area they were supposed to go.

Soon enough, they found a suspected hideout that the crooks were supposedly at. "Walk straight. I'll join the others… will you be fine?" Jean whispered silently which Mikasa nodded at. "I just want to get this over with." Mikasa sighed as she walked straight into the alleyway, hoping she wouldn't bump into anything in the process.

Jean had left to meet up with the others, who were either hiding around nearby or on the rooftop to watch silently, preparing the attack. Eren, who was one of the people who hid on the rooftop eyed Mikasa and what was around her cautiously and sharply. He couldn't afford her being hurt.

Mikasa kept walking straight, slowly and cautiously. She had assumed it'd have been difficult without a guide, though odd enough she could sense the things that were around her, she had adapted after all. She could hear the footsteps approaching her, and an unfamiliar aura that was coming close.

Earlier on, Jean had led her around, and with her distinctive features, people all around the district had recognised her as an oriental. Though none of them were probably brave enough to confront her with Jean around who was shooting them death glares. Despite that, the word had probably spread quick that there was a beauty in town. The eyes that were on her had bothered her so much, although she was blinded, just feeling the malicious eyes that rested on her was enough to pretty much disgust her to say the least. Though, it didn't compare to now as she felt a certain pair of eyes that laid on her, maliciously as if she had fallen prey.

" _My, My. What is a beauty like you doing here?" An unfamiliar voice spoke out._

Mikasa turned towards it, and before she could respond, the particular person had already grabbed her wrist tightly. "Follow me, I'll bring you somewhere pretty fun." The voice spoke out again, which had definitely caused the raven to feel so _revolted_ —mostly because of the current thoughts that flooded in her brain on what that man would do to her. However, she wasn't supposed to express any disgusted expressions, but to instead take on the role of a dense damsel in distress.

"Oh my, sure." Mikasa spoke, giving off a chuckle as she didn't show any hesitation or restraint as he dragged her off. The man turned to her, a smirk formed on his face. "Oh, is M'lady blind?" He had questioned, noticing her dull orbs. "Just how vulnerable you are…" He snickered as he pinned her against the wall. _"The things I'll do to you…"_

Just before Mikasa could give a forced laugh so as to play the role of a dense women, Levi and the others finally came into the scene. Levi, who immediately held his blade at his neck threateningly. "You know who I am. You know what I want." Levi hissed as the crook let go of the raven reluctantly as he put up his hands, as if to show surrender. "Kenny really raised an idiotic brat who joined the survey corps." He growled as Levi's glare only hardened. Though before he could respond with an insult, _the air had suddenly… smelt weird, something was off._

"Surprise, surprise shithead." The crook cackled as he quickly wore a gas mask while cadet by cadet fell to the ground unconscious. _"You…!"_ Levi growled threateningly as he held his breath, he had already took a sniff of the air— it wasn't too long till he'd pass out.

Everyone had already been affected— except for a certain brunette and raven, though they'd soon succumb to the gas. Eren, who was holding onto Mikasa tightly after her release from that mad man, he pushed Mikasa away, towards the exit. _"Mikasa… esca..."_ before he could complete his sentence, the brunette had passed out after having accidentally took a whiff of the polluted air. And just before Mikasa could react, a man or two approached her from behind, and before Mikasa could even react to that as well, the two men grabbed her firmly, covering her mouth with a cloth that reeked of a certain drug… and with that, her head spun and her consciousness, lost.

Levi who was still conscious looked around at the fallen cadets and cursed himself for letting such a thing happen. He hadn't thought in such an underdeveloped, underground place would there be some form of sleeping gas emitting device. "Kenny really did raise an idiot." The crook cackled as Levi pressed his blade closely against his neck, as if it were some sort of threat.

"Now, you wouldn't want to do that." He spoke as he pointed to the other unconscious Ackerman who had a knife held closely to her neck. And as Levi glanced at the pitiful sight, the crook gave him a kick while he was distracted, causing Levi to have breathed in the polluted air after having felt the impact of such violence. His vision was blurring, but that didn't stop him from giving threatening glares at the crook.

"Don't worry, we won't do anything bad to her." He snorted as he gave a kick to Levi's stomach. "Not sure about _Zeke_ though." He laughed as he walked off, his men following him behind who carried the oriental.

The world then darkened for the male who soon passed out, his heart full of regret that he wasn't able to do _anything._

* * *

After several minutes, Levi regained conscious as he looked around him. All of which had been awake as well, though they still seemed a bit drowsy. Before he could think of anything else, Eren had approached him, his eyes burned with anger and rage, the same infuriated feeling having fuelled the brunette with enough strength to have grip Levi by the collar in anger despite having just woken up.

"This is _your_ fault!" He yelled. "Mikasa's not here and it's _your fucking fault_!"

Levi didn't seem angered or even annoyed at the brunette's actions. He knew it was his fault, for underestimating the worst. Moreover, he was furious at himself for having passed out so easily.

"You're right, it is." He admitted. Caught off guard, the brunette loosened up as Levi took another look around him. He had failed as a captain.

Taking a deep breath, Levi looked up to the brunette, clearly seeing the rage he held inside of him. "Zeke is with them. The mastermind." Levi said, though before the brunette could even react, he continued, "What do you suggest we do?" Levi asked, he figured enough that with his plan screwed, he might as well hear suggestions. Plus, Eren was no longer a kid— and being Armin's friend, he should've at least picked up some habits of his when the blonde would voice out his strategic plans.

"I do have one." Eren spoke, calmly but coldly. "You're going to despise it though."

"I know, _but_ we don't have the time, and we don't have many options left."

* * *

' _Where am I…?'_ Mikasa thought, her head hurting causing her to wince slightly.

" _She's awake."_ A familiar agitating voice spoke. Mikasa tensed, and just as she attempted to move, her hands were restrained with handcuffs, her legs were tied as well, to the chair she was sitting in.

"Don't struggle M'lady." The voice spoke again, as her body tensed as she felt a hand caressing her cheeks, tracing down to her chest inappropriately. Mikasa had never felt so fearful or sick to her stomach in her whole life. "Or what?" She snapped threateningly, as the crook only laughed. "Oh my, a fierce one, it'll be fun breaking you. It'll be much easier since your blind… hm you don't have to worry. Once I'm done with you, I'll sell you to someone better."

His hand then traced back up, tilting her chin up slightly while his other hand fiddled to unbuckle his belt. By then, Mikasa was trembling. She didn't know what to do, or what she could even do. She was helpless, she couldn't see. At that moment, she had never felt _so_ pathetic, useless and defenceless in her entire life— _and she despised herself so much for it._

Regardless, her _main concern_ was mostly still about the others, hoping they were safe, hoping they would just forget about her so they wouldn't have to suffer— they wouldn't be slowed down by her even if they manage to rescue her. _"I'm truly a burden…"_ She mumbled quietly to herself, as a tear escaped her eye. And the more she thought about it, the more she worried, the more tears that came.

"Hm? A burden? I don't think so, vulnerability is a great trait. Don't worry my _blind_ lady, I'll guide you." He spoke in such a sick way, being oblivious as he focused more on unbuckling his belt.

She never heard words so sickly, so disgusting, so appalling, so… _wrong_. Though, there was one thing he was _really wrong_ about. _She wasn't waiting to be broken, she already was after the realization of how burdening she was._

' _I'm sorry, Eren…'_

Bracing herself for the worst, she closed her eyes, hoping that maybe… just maybe when she opened them, _there truly will be nothing. For she knew, this wasn't a nightmare she could just wake up from._

 _This was just the cruel, harsh and cold truth of a reality._

* * *

 ** _Author's notes: Sorry for the late update, I'm kind of on a Writer's block. Sigh, anyways, Please leave a review! I would like to know your thoughts._**


	15. Chapter 15 - Sacrifice, The Inevitable

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _Taking a deep breath, Levi looked up to the brunette, clearly seeing the rage he held inside of him. "Zeke is with them. The mastermind." Levi said, though before the brunette could even react, he continued, "What do you suggest we do?" Levi asked, he figured enough that with his plan screwed, he might as well hear suggestions. Plus, Eren was no longer a kid— and being Armin's friend, he should've at least picked up some habits of his when the blonde would voice out his strategic plans._

 _"I do have one." Eren spoke, calmly but coldly. "You're going to despise it though."_

 _"I know,_ _but_ _we don't have the time, and we don't have many options left."_

* * *

At that, the brunette began to quickly explain the plan he had in mind.

"Given the fact we have no idea where the hell they went, we have to split up." Eren started, before he assigned groups. Eren with Sasha and Jean's and Connie's group, but for one reason or another, he had a gut-feeling they'll be the ones who'll track them down first, and because of that assumption, he needed humanity's strongest. Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, _Jean's a good leader_ so to say, and Connie had certain tricks up his sleeve—he was certain that if they were the ones who managed to track Mikasa down first, they'd be able to manage it.

"And if you find them, escort Mikasa out safely, and like the original goal— _get the serum_." Eren stated simply. "Now, for the shitty part." He grumbled.

" _I want to kill Zeke."_ He stated, his eyes then staring down at Levi with such determination, with such _rage_. "Ehhhh? What if he kills you first?" Sasha questioned worriedly, which Eren only gave a shrug. "As long as Mikasa makes it out fine… I couldn't care less."

Despite his words, a sudden guilt filled emotion filled his heart. After all, he'd be breaking the promise he had with Mikasa. Then again, to be honest that _wasn't_ exactly his priority at all— his priority was keeping Mikasa safe. Unlike him, Mikasa had a long life ahead of her, it'd be cruel to take that away from her. If anything, dying by protecting Mikasa didn't sound all too bad if it came to that. He just wanted her safe, happy. _Even if he wasn't by her side._

"Oi. Brat." Levi snarled. "If you want to kill Zeke, fine. But to say you won't come back alive this early, it sounds like you're already planning to die. I don't know what your intentions are, but listen, if you think that'll make everything fine, think twice. That other brat wouldn't like it."

"I know, I know." Eren groaned, clearly sick and tired of his nags. "But there must be a reason why he assigned those crooks to have kidnapped Mikasa... isn't that right? I mean… why'd he even hire such idiotic criminals? Definitely, they're his pawns, he probably plans to discard them. Back to the point, he probably took Mikasa to lure us into his trap." Eren explained. "Like a negotiation… I don't know what it is but I know if I or anyone who doesn't agree, it'll come to the point where I have to…" Eren bit back his lip, unwilling to say the rest.

Levi seemed a little surprised he had figured up that much, "You've really grown, brat." He sighed. "Fine, but I don't want any _unnecessary_ deaths… got it?" The cadets nodded, before they went their separate ways in search of the raven. While searching, Levi gave a certain look to the brunette—and Eren need not ask what it meant.

'You already know, Captain… that _death is such an inevitable thing_.'

* * *

' _Fight…!'_

' _If you win, you live. If you lose, you die.'_

' _The only way to win is to… fight!'_

The memories of the past slowly flooded into the raven's mind. And it seemed to have triggered something within her. She remembered that day so vividly, where Eren had given her another chance to live. Where she learnt the world was cruel. _Where she learnt how to fight._

' _Why am I remembering this now…?'_ Mikasa thought silently.

" _Hello."_ A familiar voice called out. In the dark abyss that had consumed the raven, she turned and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she could see. But what she saw, was what terrified and confused her.

 _She saw a nine-year old girl. She saw herself, her nine-year old self._

"W-What? Am I really in a d-dream?" Mikasa stuttered, taking a step back in fear.

The world around her was dark, nothing. All she saw was that nine-year old self of her, covered in blood from those… _crooks from before_.

"Why are you giving up?" The little girl had spoken softly, though it definitely seemed eerie to the present Mikasa.

"Is it because you can't see? That's _not_ an excuse to break your promise to Eren, is it?" The little girl spoke, as she took a few more steps towards Mikasa who froze.

'That's right… I promised him I'd come back alive…to come back to him.' She had thought silently.

Suddenly, the world spun before her, causing the raven to collapse onto the ground. Her sight becoming blurry as she felt all sorts of painful stings around her body, causing the raven to let out a few screeches.

' _I'm losing it I swear—'_

"There's not much time left…" The little girl spoke as she kneeled down next to Mikasa, leaning forward as she whispered the next three words that Mikasa wouldn't even _dare_ to forget. _"Get up. Fight."_

Back into the present, Mikasa felt the crook's finger tracing up her cheek again. And by instinct and the sudden rage that boiled in her, she turned her head before biting his finger ruthlessly, sinking her teeth mercilessly—and it'd have bled if he hadn't backed away in sudden fright as he let out a yelp.

" _Y-You…!"_ He yelled in rage before he clenched his fist. "I ought to teach M'lady a less—"

"Oi, Boss Zeke wants to see you." One of his men who had entered the room had cut him off. Clicking his tongue in agitation, he glared threateningly at the raven. "I'll finish you later." He hissed before leaving the room.

' _Z-Zeke?!'_

Looking around, it was still dark—pitch black. Letting out a weary sigh, she only shook her head at herself for having gotten her hopes high. _'As if a miracle of getting my vision back would ever happen. Now…'_

Lost in her own thoughts, the raven knew even if she freed herself, though possible—it was proven difficult to escape with her eyes blinded. Though, once realizing that Zeke was the mastermind… she had no fear that he'd hurt her. Having already figured it was a trap to lure Eren and the rest… she could only hope they wouldn't fall for whatever he was plotting.

"Did you hear that?" Sasha had asked, having heard a yelp by a familiar voice.

* * *

"No doubt… follow me." Eren grumbled before rushing to where the yelp had echoed from.

As they ran, they glanced in window by window, hoping to catch a glimpse of them—eventually they did. But… the other _traumatizing_ things inside that inevitably caught their eye would forever remained stained in their memory.

 _Blood… Corpses._

 _And all Eren hoped was that one of them wouldn't be Mikasa._

Carefully and cautiously, the three entered the house. Examining the corpses closely, it seemed to be the crooks, and fortunately, none of them were Mikasa. "We'll split up to check the other rooms… if he's around, just scream and—"

"Talking about me?" Zeke cackled, who now stood a few feet behind them, holding Mikasa loosely by her collar after having dragged her out of that confinement room. _"Eren…?"_ She called out softly. Much to Eren's relief, she didn't seem hurt, though that relief was soon consumed by rage.

" _Let. Her. Go."_ Eren hissed, drawing his gun out slowly, taking a few steps towards his half-brother cautiously.

"Hey, Hey. I'm not asking for a fight. Put that gun down and I'll give her to you." With that, grudgingly, the brunette dropped his gun to the ground, and as promised, Zeke threw Mikasa into Eren's now opened arms.

Holding back his tears of relief, he quickly took off any restraints on Mikasa by force before pulling her into a tight embrace. _"You're safe…"_ Eren whispered softly, stroking her hair as he spoke. Mikasa had no words, no words to express her joy once she finally found herself in Eren's arms once again.

"You madman." Levi had hissed. Ignoring the emotional moment before him, he stood in front of them as he glared directly at Zeke after glancing at the corpses around him, which definitely caused the male raven to wear a rather disgusted look at the mess before him.

"They were in the way. And so are you." Zeke spoke coldly as he took his gun out swiftly, pointing it at Levi directly, and Levi was about to do the same till a certain brunette stopped him. " _Captain_. Didn't we come to an agreement?"

Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Levi took a step back. "Don't do anything reckless." With that, Levi grabbed the other Ackerman, helping her up before pulling to a side where Sasha was. _"W-What are you doing?!"_ Mikasa stuttered, shocked by their actions. What exactly did Eren mean by agreement?

Levi, ignoring her words held her back tightly, so did Sasha. "H-Hey..! You must be joking… E-Eren! You said you'd… c-come back alive…" Mikasa shrieked as tears began to stream down her cheeks, as she attempted to struggle free, yet to no avail. Even without anyone telling her, she had a feeling deep down that whatever that agreement was, it certainly didn't guarantee the brunette to be alive by the end of this fiasco.

Ignoring the raven's pained words, Eren managed to focus back at Zeke. "Where's the serum?" Eren snarled. Zeke only let out a rather psychotic giggle. "Now, now brother. That isn't so important." He smirked.

" _Join me."_

" _What?"_

"I said join me. The survey corps is ' _gone'_ , after all those fools think that peace will last forever! Hah! What idiots they must be." Zeke scoffed. He had a mad, insane look in his eyes. It made the brunette wonder what sort of 'torture' had made him lose a few screws up in his most likely messed-up brain. Considering during battle, he seemed like a rather calm and collected sort of person, and now, a madman—at least in Eren's ferocious eyes.

"Well, you must be a bigger idiot for thinking that I'd join." Eren grumbled in agitation as he pulled out another gun and aimed it at him.

" _Die."_

Though before even Eren could've pulled the trigger, he heard some… odd muffled noises coming from the other room, which caused his sudden instinctive hesitation. Before he could even ask, Zeke's wicked grin answered it all. "So, _you've noticed_." He snorted, before he dragged out two familiar faced people who were currently tied up into the room. Jean and Connie. And then proceeding with no hesitation, he pressed the mouth of the gun against Jean's head. "Shoot me, I dare you."

Eren hesitated, he hadn't expected _… this_.

 _How did he even kidnap them so quickly? How?_

One thing's for sure, despite his _loss-of-sanity_ state, the brunette was sure he had pulled some shitty manipulative tricks on them—that wicked grin earlier had already explained it all after all.

"You see, Eren. If you're not by my side, you'll be an _enemy_. An annoying, enemy. A nuisance. A person who's trying to play hero blocking my way." He hissed. "I don't need that."

Eren took a tiny step back subconsciously, maybe he just wasn't ready to die yet—wasn't ready to leave her. He had known the risk of his current plan, which was him losing his life. He couldn't have cared less then, but now hearing the raven's cries and pleas in the moment… he wasn't so sure. But, if it guaranteed humanity's safety… Mikasa's safety. There'd be no doubt he'd lay down his life for that. Because of that, he knew he ought to sacrifice his life for the better.

" _Why'd do this…?"_ Eren asked, wondering what the hell his motive even was for such crazed and unnecessary acts.

" _For power_ , little brother." He snorted as his finger started playing around the trigger, and in no doubt was Jean frightened, but he wore a look which clearly expressed his willingness to die if it was for the better, similar to Eren's 'motives'. Though, the brunette didn't seem to have any intentions of letting anyone die… though he was unsure about himself. "You should be happy I decided not to shoot that girl. Wouldn't want you to be too angered." He grumbled, though for the most part, Zeke had a gut feeling if he were to do so, Eren would have transformed into a titan despite being in an underground city which would've restricted his movements. After all, anger was such a powerful emotion… a _dangerous_ one at that. And in the brunette's case, anger was definitely, _definitely_ a dangerous trigger.

Gritting his teeth, he dropped his other gun. Zeke only rolled his eyes, still having his gone pointed to Jean, he spoke, "Drop them _all_ , I'm not stupid." He scoffed.

Grudgingly, the brunette emptied his jackets which contained quite a few amount of weapons before tossed it to the side. He then looked up to Zeke, with a glare—though he was greeted with a similar glare from him.

" _I said, all."_ He hissed, Eren hesitated and was about to give him a confused look until Zeke was about to pull the trigger.

"Okay! Okay!" Eren shouted slightly—he didn't need Jean's death on his sub-conscience at all. He emptied his front pockets, and took out a few knifes in his sleeves. Zeke even wondered how the hell he had managed to hide such weapons in places like that without seeming uncomfortable. _"Hands up."_ Zeke ordered rather arrogantly. Reluctantly, the brunette followed as instructed before growling as he spoke, "Toss them here."

With a shrug, Zeke tossed the two to the other side, though now his gun was aimed directly at Eren.

"One last chance, brother. Join me! In starting world domination! We'll easily defeat your blonde friend, and that traitor! Hah!" He laughed, referencing to both Armin and Annie respectively. "I know all their weaknesses… I know each and every one's weakness. Can't you see brother? We've been chosen to be shifters for a reason by father! Ha!" He continued, adding another hysterical laughter towards the end of his statement.

"Firstly, _don'_ t call me your brother." Eren grumbled, the thought of that sicko being his brother just encouraged vomit to spill out from his mouth. Now deep in thought, Eren wondered how this was going to work.

He had a gun in his back pocket, and thankfully, Zeke didn't seem to have noticed. But the questions remained, will he be able to reach it on time? Before Zeke shoots?

 _Thinking back about it, he had a sudden realization that maybe he didn't really want to die now, he wasn't prepared for it. Not yet, at least._

Despite having only two or three years left with Mikasa… it didn't erase the fact he still had time left to spend time with her.

 _It's not just her, it was everyone too._

 _Everyone—that he held close to._

' _Is this selfish… my wanting to live…?'_

"Fine, fine. _Eren_ then." Zeke groaned, rolling his eyes. "So? Is it a yes or no? I'll even let you take the blind girl along and—"

" _No."_ Eren responded simply, his emerald orbs glaring directly at him— _into his corrupt and disgusting soul._

Flinching slightly, and oddly surprised—Zeke then let out a scoff. "I'm sorry we couldn't come to terms then." He spoke, before glaring at the others behind the brunette who seemed ready to attack. "One move from either one of you and I'll transform." He threatened.

Before the others could react, Eren spoke, "Don't move." He mumbled—the last thing he wanted was anyone's death, plus this was something he wished to deal with alone. Though, as he spoke those two words he didn't look back—he didn't wish to see the expression Mikasa was making, he could still hear the painful soft sobs that escaped her lips.

 _There was no turning back now._

'I just have to wait a little longer…' Eren thought to himself, if he moved just a bit he'd be shot in no time. _Well, there was only a fifty-fifty chance he'd even survive this._

"You're being rather easy, I heard they called you a suicidal bastard? Explains this very well, hm?" He laughed, having assumed the brunette was giving up his life to make up for his sins. And after laughing, his expression turned grim. " _Farewell, brother_." He sniggered, as his finger unhesitatingly pulled the trigger— _that was aimed directly towards the brunette's heart._ Even if he was partially a titan, _he was still human_.

 _And like any human, death by a pull of the trigger guaranteed death if aimed properly._

Though, the moment Zeke had fired a shot, Eren had no hesitance as he fired his own after managing to pull out his gun in time.

 _And in that moment, everything went slow._ As if time were giving a chance for the brunette to dodge the bullet approaching him… except, _that wasn't the case_. It was a fifty-fifty chance. And it seemed the darker end of that gamble was claiming its victory. As the brunette watched the bullet approached him, he closed his eyes—bracing himself for the painful impact.

' _I'm sorry, everyone… I'm sorry, Mikasa, I couldn't keep our promise.'_

He knew himself that it was too late to even move, too late to dodge… but it _wasn't too late for an obstruction._

"MIKASA!"

 _Huh?_

Opening his eyes, he suddenly saw the raven in front of him as if she were to protect him… to _shield him._

And just like that, the raven's body started to tremble, the bullet had shot through her chest. And in a flash, _she had collapsed to the ground._

" _M-Mikasa…?"_ Eren stuttered as he approached her body shakily. "Y-You d-didn't just… T-This is some sort of joke right? M-Mikasa…? W-Why aren't you answering m-me?"

 _No response, from the raven. Cries, from the brunette._

* * *

 ** _Author's Notes: Hope this was okay... Leave a review please! I would love to hear your thoughts._**


	16. The End, The Start, Their Forever

**Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

 _He knew himself that it was too late to even move, too late to dodge…_ but it _wasn't too late for an obstruction._

 _"MIKASA!"_

 _Huh?_

 _Opening his eyes, he suddenly saw the raven in front of him as if she were to protect him…_ to _shield him._

 _And just like that, the raven's body started to tremble, the bullet had shot through her chest. And in a flash,_ _she had collapsed to_ _the ground._

" _M-Mikasa…?"_ _Eren stuttered as he approached her body shakily. "Y-You d-didn't just… T-This is some sort of joke right? M-Mikasa…? W-Why aren't you answering m-me?"_

 _No response, from the raven. Cries, from the brunette._

* * *

 _"H-Hey..! You must be joking… E-Eren! You said you'd… c-come back alive…" Mikasa shrieked as tears began to stream down her cheeks, as she attempted to struggle free, yet to no avail. Even without anyone telling her, she had a feeling deep down that whatever that agreement was, it certainly didn't guarantee the brunette to be alive by the end of this fiasco._

'Ah… there he goes again… doing something so, so reckless.' The raven thought to herself quietly as continuous tears streamed down her cheeks.

'What was going on?' _Despite being blind, she knew what exactly Eren planned to do._

'Why do I have to be blind?' _Because the world is and forever will be cruel._

'How did it end up like this?' _Fate was twisted._

Giving up the struggle, she listened to the two adversaries speak the sort of conversation that she wished she was able to shut it up. She didn't want to hear these things, because all of their words linked to Eren's death—which was to happen soon. Even if the brunette was still there, living and breathing…. She already knew it wouldn't last long. She knew he was bound to die, it wasn't even an assumption or whatever at this point. Given the situation, the brunette had no escape—especially when she heard Eren dropping all his weapons at Zeke's command in return for Jean's and Connie's release.

And given the fact Levi and the others weren't doing anything, or even interfering with their conversation, she figured it was either that Eren told them her safety was priority and to stay out of his business or that if it comes to a die-die situation, he wished to deal with it alone.

And again, Mikasa felt this… pathetic, useless feeling growing inside of her. Here she was again, a damsel in distress, who couldn't even save her hero at this crucial moment.

 _What was she going to tell Armin?_ Despite their quarrels, they were friends again. And they shared a strong and close bond since kids, a bond that Mikasa knew she could never interfere.

 _More tears streamed down her cheeks painfully._

She wasn't ready or prepared for what was to come, which was Eren's death. Levi's hands that had gripped her wrist even tighter to prevent her from escaping his grasp to do something stupid was enough evidence that Levi— everyone in this room, probably, knew how the ending of the brunette's life was going to play out.

After all, they were seeing the scene play in front of their eyes. And the raven? All she could do was listen… maybe that's for the best, she feared the sight of the life being drained out of the brunette, but then again, she wanted to see the brunette again, at least one last time.

 _"Fine, fine._ _Eren_ _then." Zeke groaned, rolling his eyes. "So? Is it a yes or no? I'll even let you take the blind girl along and—"_

'Their negotiation is almost over… and I haven't thought of a single thing that could save Eren's life…'

" _No."_ _Eren responded simply, his emerald orbs glaring directly at him_ — _into his corrupt and disgusting soul._

 _'There he goes again, that same stubborn, determined and ferocious tone… will I ever hear his voice ever again…?'_

 _Flinching slightly, and oddly surprised—Zeke then let out a scoff. "I'm sorry we couldn't come to terms then." He spoke, before glaring at the others behind the brunette who seemed ready to attack. "One move from either one of you and I'll transform." He threatened._

When she felt them moving behind her, as if to attack—she didn't get too excited, and it was good that she didn't get her hopes high up—considering Zeke had given a threat to them to not do so.

Her eyes closed, an attempt to force her tears to stop flowing, she didn't want the last sight for him to see was her crying, with her blinded orbs.

" _Dear world… fate… whatever it is you are…" Mikasa plead quietly under her breath as her last desperate resort, hoping her plea will reach some power, some force. "Just this… one… one and last time… let someone… let me save him…please."_

Just then, at that very moment. She felt some sort of… surge going on in her. She felt some sort of shock in her veins, and in that moment, _her eyes burst wide open, full of life and clarity._

 _She could see._

She could see…she could see the unreasonable and unnecessary madness happen before her.

She could see Zeke pulling out his gun as his finger reached the trigger after saying his farewell to the brunette.

She could see the brunette pulling out his gun after Zeke pulled the triggered, the bullet travelling towards the brunette.

And just like how it did with the brunette… _Everything went slow for her too._

' _Move.'_ A voice screamed in her ear at the moment she realised the brunette was too late to dodge it.

' _Move…Move! Fight!'_ it screeched.

And without any second to lose, her hands managed to struggle free from Levi's strong grip as she ran towards the brunette. In that moment, she felt like she could do anything, and like before she felt as if she had total control of her body.

"MIKASA!" A voice screamed.

Mikasa was unable to identify who it was… the world got darker each moment once the bullet went through her chest mercilessly.

' _Thank goodness…'_ Mikasa thought silently, as her body collapsed to the ground.

" _M-Mikasa…?"_ _Eren stuttered as he approached her body shakily. "Y-You d-didn't just… T-This is some sort of joke right? M-Mikasa…? W-Why aren't you answering m-me?"_

' _I made it in time…'_ A small smile cracked on her lips weakly as she heard the brunette's voice.

' _I'm sorry, Eren. I broke my half of our promise.'_

* * *

Levi clicked his tongue agitatedly as the other Ackerman fell. It was too late. Turning to the brunette he spoke, "Stop her wound from bleeding! There might be hope!" He yelled as he approached Zeke, or at least, his lifeless body. Eren's shot had went through him. And just to make sure, Levi took his blade and stabbed his chest ruthlessly, his cold gaze then looking up. "Search the area or any remaining titan serums… let the bra—let Eren have some time alone." He murmured as he and the others went to search, looking away from Mikasa—because they knew if they did, their tears wouldn't stop flooding… _like Eren's._

"M-Mikasa... just wait! I'll bandage you and—"

"E-Eren… d-don't..." the raven spoke weakly, as she choked out some blood.

 _She had some time left, very, very little time. Maybe the world wasn't so cruel after all._

"You're alive… stay alive. J-Just stop talking, d-don't waste y—"

Mikasa's weak hand reached out shakily wanting to touch his cheek, and in that moment Eren gripped it gently, as he rested her hand on his cheek.

"You know… i-it's too late…"

"Mika—"

"Just... l-listen to me… for a while… I can see now, you know? So stop making such a s-sad face… it's already hard enough for me…"

"W-Why? Why… you can finally see and now...—"

"Shh... I want you to live on... you don't have to rush to come see me… take your time… be happy… smile. Y-You still have the others." She smiled a little more as her clear obsidian orbs gazed at the brunette's emeralds for the last time… admiring them weakly as her eyes started to blink—she was trying her best to stay alive… at least for now.

Though, Eren just couldn't understand why—why she could smile… like _that_? Like as if everything was going to be okay.

" _Thank you… for everything… I-I…L—"_

Her voice came to a sudden halt, and Eren's heart nearly did out of fright. What scared him earlier was how hand was shaking, gasping for life. What terrified him the most was that, she stopped moving, her hand slipped free from Eren's grip. There was no life.

He checked her pulse, it lacked life.

As much as the brunette wanted to scream out the pain he felt that his fragile heart felt, he remained silent as he gripped Mikasa's hand again as tears flowed down even more as his emerald orbs gazed upon her face, or rather expression.

She was smiling, she was at peace. And despite not understanding how she could be so happy in her death, he was relieved that at least… she was able to finally rest in peace… just _without him._

He heard footsteps approaching and before anyone could ask anything, Eren turned towards them, a weak, and pained smile that formed on his lips as tears continued to roll down his cheek, one by one. _"She's gone."_

* * *

The news of the death of Mikasa Ackerman, an honourable soldier, had spread like wildfire. Nobody knew how or why, but they didn't care too much, even if rumours began to rise as to how she died.

It didn't matter what outsiders say, they wouldn't understand.

After the funeral of the honourable soldier, Eren knelt down at her gravestone and carefully placed a rose and her scarf on her grave.

"Hey…"

"Hey." Eren responded, turning to a certain blonde. "Will you be fine here alone? The others left for a walk to clear their heads and I'm wondering if you wanted to come wi—"

"No thank you… I want to stay by her side a little longer."

Armin gave a nod, before gripping Eren's shoulder reassuringly for a moment before he left.

Eren sighed softly as his focus went back to her grave. _"Mikasa…"_ He murmured softly as his brain replayed the very few last words she said, and at that he couldn't help but cry all over again.

It was just yesterday that she had passed away, but it already felt so long—too long, Eren wanted to see her.

He remembered that day vividly, Levi and the others retrieved whatever titan serum was there, and disposed of them when they arrived back home. As for Zeke… well, he was definitely not going to be alive back from what Levi had done to him after. And Levi? He gave a small talk to Eren, which the brunette appreciated and had reassured none of this was ever his fault, it would've happened anyway, _nobody_ could've stopped her.

"Mikasa…You broke your promise, Mikasa. But I have to keep mine and live on, don't I…? _You're cruel_." He sniffed, cracking a small smile, before continuing, "But… for you, _anything_." He murmured softly.

* * *

 **3 Years Later.**

It has been 3 years since then, and titan shifters' lives were soon to come to the end… or, it was supposed to be like that.

"Eren." Armin called, as he approached the brunette who was at the beach, standing in the ocean, feeling the waves hit him. "The cure for this titan curse has been found… so why? Why don't you want to take it?" The blonde asked softly, as he slowly approached the brunette, though his footsteps came to a halt as the brunette turned to face Armin with a small pained smile.

"I can't wait any longer." He spoke softly before staring back at the ocean, as he watched the sun set. "Plus I wouldn't be able to make it back on time for the cure to be injected in me, now would I?"

"But…didn't you promise Mikasa that you'll live on?"

"Until the curse devours me. I didn't make any promises that I'll extend my life." Eren responded. "She must be lonely…. Wherever she is. And well... it's finally… over. The war, everything. Just peace. There is no need for my service... and plus, she also broke half of the promise." he scoffed a little, chuckling softly.

"Yeah…" The blonde answered as he looked away, not knowing how to phrase his emotions.

"I know how you feel, but Armin. My time has come." The brunette spoke, as if he had read the blonde's mind. "Thank you, for being a great friend. It is an honour to see the ocean with you, this last time… don't cry, I can hear you." Eren sighed, as Armin looked away, though his focus was still at the sun set that was soon to set completely as the night crept about.

"Sorry… Just wish it didn't have to be like this… I..." he felt arms embraced him tightly, it was Eren. "Save your words. You should go, I heard you and Annie have a date?" Eren teased slightly as the blonde pushed him away a little as he rolled his eyes. "That's tomorrow…" He grumbled as Eren gave off a light chuckle as he walked towards and into the ocean again, the blonde turning away.

" _Goodbye, Armin."_

" _Farewell… Eren_ , you better take good care of Mikasa…" He mumbled softly before walking off, as the waves engulfed the lifeless brunette, who had finally succumbed to the curse.

' _I can't wait to see you, Mikasa.'_

 _..._

 _"Eren...?" A voice_ _—_ _no. A melody spoke out as the brunette followed it until he found himself in her arms...her warm and loving arms, again._

* * *

 **Epilogue- Modern Day.**

The bell rang, a certain brunette rushed to the front gates of school with a toast in his mouth. He was late, very late—for his first class as a transfer student. "Ahhhh! I can't believe I'm late!" He groaned before shoving his breakfast into his mouth. Recently, _Eren Jaeger_ had been having terrible nightmares… though they were now all in a blur, he remembered that there was something important… he just didn't know what it was. But now, with no time to lose, he sprinted in the hallway, in search for his class. Until he bumped into someone.

"Ouch… I-I'm sorry please don't hurt me!" A certain blonde squeaked as the brunette quickly got onto his feet. "Hurt you? Why'd I do that? I'm Eren." Eren introduced with a friendly smile before he helped up the blonde. "A-Armin… _Armin Arlert_." He stuttered with a small smile, though he looked at the brunette with such curiosity, after all, he hadn't seen him before. "Well! Armin, do you have any idea where I'm supposed to go?" Eren asked before quickly shoving his timetable in his face. The blonde quickly got a good grip on his timetable. "Oh... same class as me… just walk straight and turn to the right—"

And without any notice or advanced warning, the brunette gripped his hand, "Tell me on the way!" he spoke before dragging him off. "H-Hey!"

It may've been weird, for someone to drag a stranger and treat them as if they've known him forever… though oddly, the brunette felt he knew him from… somewhere. Plus, there was no time to lose. Class was starting! Or rather, it had started and the brunette had a 'be no longer than 7 minutes late' rule, and there was only a minute left.

And just as he was about to make a right turn, something… made him come to a halt.

"W-What is it, Eren? We're going to be late!" The blonde had asked, stumbling a little as the brunette's drags came to a sudden halt. Though Eren seemed to be focused on… something else. Or rather, someone else—that was worth breaking his 7 minute rule.

A dark haired, raven student walked by them. It was only for a moment, but… he caught a glimpse of her.

" _M-Mikasa...?"_ The brunette blurted out subconsciously, almost by instinct.

The dark haired beauty turned, her obsidian eyes resting on the brunette's emeralds—his emerald orbs immediately fixating at her orbs, being rather intrigued as he gazed at them, as he felt a sense of familiarity. Though, it wasn't the same feeling the raven felt—she wore a confused expression.

" _Who… are you?"_

* * *

 ** _Author's Notes:_ I _'m finally done with this Fanfiction! Thank you for reading! I'm currently working on my next Fanfiction (Still Attack On Titan Related!) Stay tuned. In the meantime, please leave a review. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the ending :)_**

 ** _Also, if anyone requests, I may continue this story in the modern era where Eren, Mikasa, Armin and MANY MORE have been reborn into the modern world. Will Mikasa ever remember Eren? Does Eren actually remember her…? Everything? Hm. Maybe Armin's hiding something, or Levi. Who knows? Haha. (Though, I highly doubt anyone will request haha.) Though, I may even write the continued story of this during my free time when I have writer's block haha. Anyways, Thank you for reading , and again, please drop a Review!_**


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